I needed treatment to stop lying

Three years ago, I was a salesperson at a computer store. My boss let me handle other tasks, like billing clients. It was a huge responsibility for someone like me, prone to telling lies. With the mistakes I made in my work, I discovered that I had suffered from mythomania since I was a child and that I needed help to get rid of this disease, characterized by the compulsion to lie.

It was July 2007 when I convinced my boss to set up a stand at a fair for the evangelical public. On the day of the service I attended, I lied to my pastor saying that my company would give up space to publicize his church. But how can I convince my boss to accept this deal? Simple: I lied to my boss saying that the church would finance half of the stand. In my head, time would sort out my lies.

>> I stood by what I said until the end
I remember making these slips since I was a kid. At age 7, if I got a small doll, I would immediately tell my friends that I had won the biggest one in the store. If it was an unbranded one, it said it was a Barbie. I felt insecure, and that prevented me from telling the truth. I thought that was the only way, by lying, that I could integrate myself into them.

In adolescence, this impulse took on dramatic contours. At 14, I dated secretly for months. I told my parents that I was at church and was going to his house. So far, it looks like a teenager’s thing. But my conviction in lying was unhealthy. I believed the lie and denied everything until I was unmasked.

>> Lied to benefit myself
A year later, I started working. Despite earning R$300 a month, I spent more than R$700. I believed that in the following months I would get enough money to pay my debts. It was a way of lying to myself. It was my father who paid the debts, already preoccupied with my impulses.

At 19, I went to work at the computer store. As I thought it was normal to spend beyond my limits, I also had no problem using the company’s money for my own benefit. I continued to believe that time would fix everything and that no one would find out about my lies.

On that note, I took advantage of my boss’s trust to give me a computer for Valentine’s Day. I ordered from the supplier and issued a false invoice, in the name of a real customer of the store. Three months passed and the vendor bills began. I told my boss that I had already charged the customer, who didn’t pay. Lie.

That customer had already paid for his purchase, but I hid the real bills. I promised myself that I would get the money to fix that hole without my boss noticing. How much illusion.

>> Today I count to ten before I lie
My world fell apart when the supplier sued the company in court for not paying for that computer. Then my boss called the customer. He said he had already paid what he owed. Suspicious, my boss went through my drawers and discovered the hidden notes. In addition to these, there was another, the payment of the stand that should be paid entirely by his company. I was fired immediately, for just cause.

My lies were all discovered and passed on to my parents. When I heard the story, my boyfriend broke up with me. I was admitted to a psychiatric clinic. But I still didn’t recognize myself as sick. After a day of hospitalization, I asked my parents to pick me up. I blatantly lied saying that they had beaten me inside.

>> It’s like a drinking addiction
Looking back, I think the damage I caused could be greater. I could be arrested if the people I harmed weren’t committed to helping me. Months later, last year, I started seeing a psychologist. With her, I realized that this was a disease and that I needed treatment. It’s something like drinking addiction: we have to live one day after another without lying.

Now, when I realize that I am about to tell a lie, I stop talking to my interlocutor. I take a breath, count to ten, and then go back to talking. If the impulse is faster than this control, I apologize to whom I deceived. I got a new job and I’m regaining my parents’ trust. I still owe a debt to my former employer, which I will repay with my work. Today I know how to value the importance of having people’s trust.

Mythomaniac loses track of acts

from the newsroom

Lying can be used for several reasons, such as mean to someone or even apply a coup. From the moment the liar loses track of the consequences of the damage caused by his actions, this becomes a disease, mythomania. According to scholars, a mythomaniac does not lie in bad faith.

“He thinks that he will only be accepted in society if he can meet other people’s expectations, even if they are unrealistic”, explains psychologist Marisa Lobo, author of the book Why do people lie? (Ed. Arte Editorial, 2010, 224 pages, R$ 39.90). The explanation for the disease lies in the childhood of the mythomaniac. “If the parents realize that the child is lying and do not expose the consequences of this, they are encouraging the child to repeat the lie other times”, she says.

Treatment for the disease involves psychological care and, in some cases, antidepressant medications to raise the patient’s self-esteem. “The mythomaniac needs to learn that people are uncomfortable with lies”, explains psychologist Sandro Caramaschi, from UNESP (Universidade Estadual Paulista).