Parents who hit their children

Although, fortunately there are fewer and fewer, there are still parents who subject their children to corporal punishment so that they obey them. This has resulted in the death of infants at the hands of their parents, who under the effects of anger discharge their physical force on the person or persons they have the responsibility to protect: Their children.

It is unfortunate that there are still people who usually advise:

What that child needs is a good spanking!

In different countries, legislation has been passed to protect children and adolescents. Despite protection in this area, child abuse is difficult to eradicate. Silence acts as an accomplice, since in many places it is thought that the way parents provide education belongs entirely to them, regardless of the method. On the one hand, some people mistakenly believe that abuse consists exclusively of corporal punishment. We also talk about abuse when there is negligence when it comes to meeting the needs of the children.: food, rest, recreation, affection, security, psychological support or care during periods of illness.

In addition, emotional rejection expressed in screams, insults, threats, humiliation is also abuse. Not allowing association or friendship with other infants is socially isolating. Prevents the free development of their social skills.

Some parents do not allow their children to return home during the day after school because they cannot tolerate the responsibility of preparing food, having clothes, and a clean home. In this situation, we typically find parents who are alcoholics or drug addicts.

As I have pointed out, abuse is often not evident. Many times it is so subtle that it can occur, for example, with comparison between siblings or with other infants.. Many times, this comparison prevents the development of a sense of belonging to the family group, increases self-distrust and leads to self-absorption or increases the desire to evade reality.

Teachers in school can play an important role in observing and identifying changes in their students’ behavior.. This is because in many cases disruptive or aggressive behavior in a boy or girl is a product of the abuse he or she receives from an adult. Among the behaviors that allow identifying possible child abuse are:

• Tantrums: breaking doors, aggressive behavior towards peers
• Fear of one of their parents
• Fear of water, of going out into the yard. Any abnormal behavior that persists over time is cause for warning.
• Insomnia, the appearance of childhood behaviors that have already been outgrown, such as bedwetting, nightmares, loss of appetite, isolation, solitary or aggressive play.
• Marks or bruises of “unknown” cause appear on the body. Scars at the level of the earlobe.

Thus, it is unfortunate when it is heard from the mother’s mouth:
You only give me problems!
What misfortune I have with you!
They won’t even love you as a gift!

It is very difficult to hide child abuse, because children are usually open books

It is likely that although there are no physical consequences in the children, there are psychological consequences of the abuse they have received. An infant who grows up in abuse will probably generate low self-esteem, live in fear, perceive the world as a hostile place, find it very difficult to trust people, and it is not unusual for them to reproduce the abuse in their own children.

Every child and adolescent has the right to a life free of violence and to grow up in an environment experienced as safe. Although children need limits on their behavior to live in society, mistreatment to impose them has no justification. The hidden consequences will probably be revealed later.

Why are there parents who mistreat whom they should protect?

Many children abused yesterday are the abusers of today. However, others overcame their traumatic pain and channeled their energy into protecting abused children. We must consider that the majority of parents who abuse or hit do not want to do it; many times they are the ones who describe how bad they feel after doing it. Thus, many times when they attack they also attack themselves and if they do it it is because they do not know another way to do it nor do they believe it exists.

The abuser usually uses violence to command respect for his or her limited ability to establish limits on child behavior. This adult forgets that he is dealing with an infant. He expects the child to think and act like an adult of 20 or 30 years old, but he is unable to put himself in the child’s shoes, who does not understand the reason for the beatings.. Excessive demands often mean that children cannot meet the expectations of adults. Unfulfilled hope that leads to disappointment and frustration that is wrongly channeled through child abuse.

On the other hand, some alcoholic, drug addict or gambling parents see their children as a heavy burden for their addiction. In these cases, abuse usually occurs in the form of neglect of needs, since the parents allocate the resources that should be used to meet the needs of the children to continue with their own addiction.

Finally, we must reflect and be aware that, although parents must play a predominant role in education, society has the responsibility of ensuring that this education is ALWAYS provided within the framework of children’s rights.