5 keys to release emotions

Emotions allow us to relate to others, which does not mean that we often tend to hide them. There are 4 essential or basic emotions (it is true that some authors admit some more): sadness, anger, fear and joy. Of this group, we consider only one of them positive, but this is a value that our culture gives it. Thus, making this distinction between what is negative and positive can be an impediment to releasing emotions.

Because of our experiences, in which we were vulnerable and hurt, we began to hide our sadness by projecting an image of strength. We do not express our anger for fear of the disapproval of others, we hide the fear, causing it to subdue us, and we control our joy because on many occasions we have already been called out for expressing it spontaneously.

1. Your emotions are important

The aforementioned situations are the product of “underestimating” your emotions and their importance, compared to, for example, what you give to logical intelligence. Perhaps you think, as they have tried to make you see many times, that emotions make you weak. Think that all this causes nothing more than a strong containment of them.

By not giving importance to your emotions, you become an expert in “swallowing” everything that you neither want nor can digest.. This will make you feel very bad in the long run, because it will get the better of you, it will overcome you and you will find yourself with accumulated emotions that will fight to get out of you without any control. You will look for air and you will not be able to breathe.

Do you want anger to flow uncontrollably during a meeting at work? Is it okay for you to be cruel to a friend for storing up emotions? If you have ever gone through these situations or want to avoid them, it is time to change the way you approach your emotional management.

2. When releasing emotions, be aware

On some occasion perhaps you have tried to release emotions and you have found yourself with such terrible guilt. This happens when you express without being conscious. Keep in mind that you have to know the correct way to communicate what you feel, with respect for the other person.

In fact, you can see this lack of awareness when you repress your emotions so much that you end up exploding at any moment. You have no mercy then, you don’t take into account who you have in front of you, you don’t care.

That’s why, Express your emotions when you want, opening your eyes wide and empathizing with the person in front of you to avoid harming them. and that you yourself get hurt for not having known how to manage this type of situation well.

3. Don’t wait, vent when you need it

The key to keeping emotions from getting out of control is to vent when you need to.. This does not mean that in certain contexts you should do it. For example, in an interview or any other similar situation it would not make sense to release emotions in this way since you would be harmed.

However, this does not mean that you cannot do it later. What’s more, you must do it. Where do you feel free and good? Where do you find yourself confident to express everything you have inside? Go to that place and open yourself to let out what is inside you.

If you feel angry, hit a cushion, kick a stone or something similar; If you notice that fear invades you, allow yourself to tremble, feel it in every pore of your skin and accept it; If what happens to you is that you are sad, cry, scream or look for that person whose hug will dispel any crying.

4. Be careful not to dwell on emotions

Emotions don’t usually last long, think about joy, it is momentary, it does not last for hours and hours. However, when an emotion lasts longer than the “normal” time, we go from talking about an emotion to talking about an emotional state.

For example, you may feel sad, but if you begin to support that sadness with thoughts that go around and around, becoming ruminative, generating anxiety, then you are trapping that emotion and preventing it from following its natural course.

Sometimes, you have to know how to distinguish when the emotion has begun to feed on our thoughts, becoming a product of those insecurities, fears and beliefs that affect you. Sometimes we make a mountain out of a single grain of sand..

5. Take into account the environment you are in

If you find yourself in an environment where it is common to be told phrases like “don’t cry”, “don’t be so smiling”, “don’t get angry”, express that you have the right to express yourself and that it is very necessary for you. Do it with respect and seeking understanding with others.

The important thing is that you don’t stop expressing what you feel just because it bothers others.. Something very common and the result of an education that pigeonholes us and prevents us from being as we are. If you need to express your emotions do it, there is nothing wrong with that!

Since we were little, we are constantly told not to do that, not to express the other… In the end, we adopt the habit of keeping everything we want to say and express to ourselves, while we hurt ourselves as a result of this very harmful attitude.

Let’s not let what we feel poison us because other people find it bothersome that we know how to release emotions. Retaining and trapping them often causes them to begin to be the result of ruminations in our brain and to last longer than they should. We can avoid all this. Let’s start allowing them to flow as their natural course dictates.

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Images courtesy of Stasia Burrington