5 keys to get out of a toxic friendship

A toxic friendship is a dysfunctional relationship that does not allow you to grow, inhibits your emotional expression and affects your life emotionally, behaviorally and cognitively. In other words, it is a relationship in which you cannot be happy. Now how can you get out of this relationship?

It is very difficult to break the bond of a toxic friendship, in part, because there is no recognition that the relationship is that kind. Also because it is difficult to detect the behavioral and emotional dynamics in which the interaction is anchored. So what way out is there? In this article we tell you.

How to get out of a toxic friendship

It’s not usually easy to end a friendship. because the union that is established also becomes part of who we are and our worldview of the world.

Giving up on it is like giving up a part of us, and even if it is not the best, it may not be easy to uproot it from our being. When undertaking this complicated task, keep the following keys in mind.

It is often not easy to end a toxic friendship relationship because we are not aware of it.

1. Recognize and accept reality

The first key to getting out of a toxic friendship is to be aware that we are in one. Recognizing and accepting is an important step to begin a disengagement process, Well, it’s difficult for you to do it if you don’t even know you’re tied. To achieve this, you need to take some time alone and reflect on the quality of the relationship.

Examine how you feel when in the company of that person – also before and after –. Do you feel bad, sad or tired? Does it make you anxious? Don’t you have peace of mind with her? Do you feel constantly attacked?

2. Prepare for the breakup

Plan your way out of that toxic friendship, it’s not about doing it impulsively and uncontrollably.. Draw up an action plan that includes what you will say, and also everything that may emerge at the moment and that you must know how to handle.

For example, if your toxic friend makes a drama out of you, how will you handle the situation? Think about what can go wrong and formulate a possible solution.

Also prepare to feel, accept and manage your emotions, because it will be a very emotional moment. Anxiety may appear on the scene, so don’t be scared, it’s normal. Remember that you are doing everything for yourself, for mental health and for your well-being.

3. Communicate assertively

Just because your friend is toxic is not a reason to treat him badly when ending the relationship. You can be friendly and at the same time communicate assertively. This type of communication is based on a positive attitude of respect, in which you can express your reasons and evaluations without disqualifying to the other person, nor override their rights.

To be assertive when leaving a toxic friendship, keep in mind:

Express what you think and feel with respect. Express understanding of what the other person feels and says. Treat the other person with respect and dignity. Allow yourself to listen and be heard. Be polite and honest. Avoid reproaching or attacking. Express what you think and feel. you have to say without belittling your “friend.”

It is advisable to end a friendship with assertiveness.

4. Forgive

A toxic friend leaves unhealed wounds and scars. When we are attacked in an unjustified way, we end up harboring a lot of resentment in our lives.

Forgiveness is a step that not only It will help you heal those wounds, but it will also help you let go of that bond. In the end it’s about this, that you let go, that you don’t hold on to what hurts you.

In this process you may also have to forgive yourself for allowing someone else to steal your happiness. An essential part of this key, to get out of a toxic friendship, is that you also learn to be self-compassionate with yourself, that you do not complain and beat yourself up for having allowed yourself to be hurt, but that you embrace yourself and recognize your fragility.

5. keep your decision

The last key to getting out of a toxic friendship is keep the decision. Examine everything that could lead you to establish contact with that person: networks of friends, places, activities, etc. Try to stay away from these situations for a while or, if you prefer, break contact with them permanently, so as not to relate to your toxic ex-friend.

Take the step without looking back. Remember that you do it for you. Staying firm may not be easy, but it is necessary so that you can truly get rid of that dysfunctional bond that is bringing nothing good to your life.

Leaving a toxic friendship is a sign of self-love, of not allowing anything or anyone to inhibit our freedom, much less degrade us and detract from our value as human beings. We are all valuable and deserve to be treated with dignity and love. Do you have a toxic friend in your life? What prevents you from letting go of that relationship?

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