I like who I am, I don’t plan to change for anyone

I’m not going to change for you, don’t ask me to be more docile, thinner, to give up my passions to fit into your voids. I like who I am, so You will have to accept me with all my nuances because it is in them where my happiness is, my integrity.

Experts tell us that people tend to vary our personality at a given moment for three reasons: to adapt to a certain environment, to achieve a goal or to avoid something that we dislike or cause fear. And believe it or not, it is something that can occur in many relationships.

There are those who, even today, think that being a couple means giving up everything for the other person.. Without concessions. It is in these situations, where many gradually refine their character, their openness, they adapt to the partner “to fit in” and thus achieve a purpose that sooner or later becomes a “nonsense.”

Whoever renounces loses, whoever changes what defines him to make his partner happy, stops being himself.. Therefore, the relationship can only be a farce destined to fail where one dominates and the other maintains a mask that does not identify him. Do not let that happen.

I’m not going to change for you, I’m going to grow with you

Personality is a psychological construct that is built throughout our lives through experiences. and the evaluations we make of them. We are a compendium of virtues, limitations, manias, values, dreams and expectations that we cannot change overnight. It’s not healthy, nor is it logical.

An important aspect should be noted: change is not bad if the need comes from oneself. People need certain variations in our thinking approaches, purposes and attitudes to adapt, to achieve balance and personal growth.

Now, these changes are, as we say, voluntary, and if they come from ourselves there will be no problem. We change our thoughts to change our reality. We change for ourselves and not for anyone. Another detail to keep in mind is that we should not think that those who live in a relationship based on inequality and unhappiness are one of the members who forces the other to change. Sometimes, it is oneself who seeks change to adapt to the other., to be accepted, to be loved. Those who seek to pretend something that is not so that others will love them, what actually happens is that they are the ones who do not love themselves. And even though for a time they come to believe that they are happy and that everything is going well, little by little their self-esteem fragments and erodes like an old sand castle on the edge of the beach.You might be interested…

I don’t want to change so that you love me, love me for who I am

There is no need to say things you don’t mean, to agree just to please, to appear to be what others expect you to be. If you maintain this attitude, there will come a time when you will not really know who you are, what you want or what keeps you going.

It is necessary that whoever loves you, whether it is your partner, your friends or your family, loves you not only for what you are, but “despite” what you are. That is to say, They must love you with your lights and your shadows, with your greatness and your scars.You may want a partner, you may want to have good friends, but before all this you need to prepare to be a partner, prepare to be a friend. If you know what you are like and are happy with yourself, you will be able to offer the best to others.

I’m not going to change for you, I’m going to walk by your side

People continue to change every day, but we never lose our essences, our principles and our values. That is why we must not give in to what defines us, because then, we will stop being ourselves.

Think that If there is someone who forces you to change, it is because they do not like how you really are.. And if he/she doesn’t like you, the problem will not be yours, but that of the other person who is not able to accept what is before him/her. People come together to grow, not to limit, to walk together and not to trip up, to build new horizons and not to fade them. If they insist on changing us, what we have are censorship, potholes and wounds. Do not let that happen.

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Images courtesy of Pascal Campion and Junne Kim