What is a warning sign at each stage of your child’s life

In a survey carried out by Colégio Friburgo/Casinha Pequenina, in São Paulo, getting children to sleep in their own bed was the difficulty most mentioned by parents of students aged 1 to 6 years. They all had one question in common: is it normal for this to happen? The answer is yes. “It is an intense phase of fears and fantasies and, in fact, the child can wake up scared, asking for company. The problem is that, over time, they learn to blackmail, to use fear to get their parents to give in. No matter how tired they are, adults should reassure them without taking them out of the crib or bed”, advises psychopedagogue Maria Beatriz Telles, director of early childhood education at the school.

Whatever your doubt about the small, don’t worry: when it comes to raising children, there are no “silly questions”, guarantees psychologist Lana Harari, from São Paulo. “Every behavior has a message in it. Just be attentive to what the child wants to say.” With attention and a minimum of knowledge about child development, you will be able to decipher the enigma – and you will see that everything is temporary. To help you better identify and understand childhood episodes, we heard from several professionals – they have practical suggestions for you to go through each stage with more confidence and serenity.

Up to 2 years

biting mania

“Children usually bite to defend themselves or express discontent, but they don’t understand the act as aggression”, explains pedagogue Marta Braga. It is up to parents and teachers to show that biting hurts and bothers.

fear of strangers

Even the most extroverted babies, who tend to go from lap to lap in the first months of life, sometimes change their behavior and start to cling to their mother’s neck in the presence of adults they don’t live with on a daily basis, such as an uncle, grandmother or father. pediatrician. It seems like the first symptom of an incorrigible shyness, but it is not. This attitude only reveals a certain distrust, which is natural. “If it happens, convey tranquility to the child, because he sees the world through the eyes of his parents. And never force her to sit on someone’s lap against her will”, warns psychopedagogue Cordeiro.

nanny attachment

Does your child cry when she leaves? That doesn’t mean you’ve gone to the back of the line in his heart. It would be strange if the baby did not become attached to the person who takes care of him for most of the day – therefore, the behavior demonstrates that he is being treated with affection.

From 3 to 4 years

Chill at the mall

Seeing the son kicking on the floor takes anyone’s swing. But be prepared: nine out of ten mothers go through this embarrassment at least once in their lives. “The most common thing is that it intensifies around the age of 3, when the child already has a certain autonomy and thinks he can get everything he wants”, says Maria Beatriz. Depending on the parent s’ posture, she can insist on behavior even when she’s older. They must be firm, close the subject and have the child follow them, even if everyone around is watching.

Imaginary friend

He gives the air of grace at the dinner table, inside the car or during a game and chats loudly with the child – which, almost always, makes the parents’ hair stand on end. “Some come to us at school afraid their child is going crazy,” says Marta. Don’t worry: this fantasy is part of children’s imagination, it lasts for a few years and usually disappears around the age of 6.

It’s all mine

Until the age of 4, your child thinks he owns the world and wants all his toys for himself. “Encouraging contact with other children helps to break self-centeredness. As he discovers the importance of relating, he learns to exchange and lend”, says Maria Beatriz.

From 5 to 6 years

He is not my friend anymore

At this stage, the kids have a “best friend” every day. “Small events are seen as a big problem”, explains educator Andrea Ramal. But the resentment is short-lived: In a few days, the friend is loved again.

discovery of the genitals

Experts are emphatic: child masturbation should not be repressed. “Just guide the child to only do this in intimacy”, advises family therapist Valéria Meirelles, from São Paulo. Have you seen your child exploring a friend’s body? Explain that he can only move his own body. And don’t worry: It has nothing to do with defining sexuality.

little lies

The child invents to pretend that he has had a nice experience or simply to avoid being scolded. Arguing that lying is ugly, warns Maria Beatriz, is not convincing: “She notices that adults make use of so-called social lies and does not understand the contradiction”. The best attitude is to show that lying breaks the relationship of trust between you. “When your child tells a fact, pretend you don’t believe him because of his constant inventions. So the change in attitude is usually quick.”

From 7 to 10 years

shower horror

Taking a shower implies abandoning an interesting activity and spending a good amount of time alone, without any interesting visual stimulus – that is, a huge waste of time, from the point of view of the short ones. “Children do not value clean, smelling clothes. What he wants most is to play”, says Andrea. Make it clear that hygiene care is not your whim.

finger in the nose

At the age of 7, the child needs to master the rules of social life and know what not to do in public. If he has this or another inappropriate habit, the role of parents is to educate him. “The family has to teach that you can’t wipe your nose or pass farts in front of others, even indoors”, defends Maria Beatriz.

cruel mockery

Since the beginning of the world, children in this age group have grouped together in cliques – and the excluded end up being mocked. “Most of the time, there’s nothing serious behind it,” says Andrea. But parents cannot remain indifferent. If she notices that her son is being targeted by her colleagues, she should never encourage him to react and try to strengthen him psychologically: “Show that the problem is with the colleague, not with him”, she advises. If he’s the one making fun of the other, explain the consequences of his attitude – conversation and a good dose of affection usually works.