My partner doesn’t love my family: what to do?

Family presentations are usually an important moment in relationships.. Precisely in this context, there are certain situations that create problems in the relationship with the in-laws and that usually end up with you wondering: “why doesn’t my partner love my family?”

For some, the fact that their partner and family get along is essential. However, It is not an aspect that can be controlled 100%. and it is normal that, sooner or later, conflict will appear.

How do you get to this point? What to do to solve it? The first step is to identify the cause. Afterwards, you can use some of the ideas that we propose in this article to redirect the situation.

My partner doesn’t love my family, why?

While you’ve had some power of choice over who you pair up with, whether his family is nice and you get along is totally a lottery; The same thing happens with his friends. Well, the other way around also happens: there is always the possibility that your partner gets along badly with your family or that there is simply no harmony.

That’s why, If you are faced with this problem, the first thing will be to find out the answers to the question of “why doesn’t my partner love my family?”. Below you have the most common reasons.

1. Your family doesn’t like your partner

It may be your family that rejected you in the first place, and that affects your partner’s opinion. If the climate between both parties is tense and distant, it is logical that your partner would show reluctance. to participate in family gatherings.

One of the most common situations between a couple and family is that the latter considers the former “not enough” for you. This usually leads to uncomfortable moments, increasing lack of trust and distance in treatment.

2. They have few points in common

If your partner and your family have nothing in common – tastes, customs, personalities – it is easy for them to resist going to see them or have dealings with them.

An example of this would be if you had a family who is very fond of football and a partner who hates sports: they will probably get bored in conversations with your peers.

3. Your partner feels that your family interferes too much

Especially at young ages -although it also occurs in adulthood and maturity-, You may encounter in-laws who meddle too much in the relationship. Maybe for you it is not so serious, but for a person used to being more independent from their family it can be a problem.

What do I do if my partner doesn’t like my family?

If you are living this situation and you do not act, You may reach a point where you feel between a rock and a hard place.: how to get your partner to see your family? Is it possible to have a meeting in which there is no tension on both sides? How long is this situation bearable?

The first thing will always be to establish a constructive dialogue with your partner. You must specifically define the reasons why your family doesn’t like you and think of a solution together.

However, the first responsibility will be yours, since it is your family and your partner. Even if there are aspects that you cannot control, it is good that both parties perceive that you are trying to improve their relationship. Below are some general guidelines that can help you achieve this.

1. Talk to your family

Let them know the situation and analyze with them what may be happening. This way you will find out what could be bothering them about your partner and vice versa. Another option is to give your partner free rein to talk to them without intermediaries, although shyer people might prefer that you be the one to establish the dialogue.

You have the right to ask your family to be polite to your partner. If degrading situations and lack of respect are occurring on the part of your peers, no matter how much they don’t like their personality, they must respect it.

2. Organize some activity with both parties

There may be some context or activity where both your family and your partner feel comfortable and can strengthen ties. The ideal would be for you to prepare it together.because that will give your partner a position of security.

For example, if you all like Asian food, you can organize a dinner at your house or in a place that your partner finds pleasant.

3. Express your feelings in a common meeting

If both parties are behaving inappropriately towards each other, You can try putting them together in the same place and address the problem directly.

The effectiveness of this technique will depend on the level of tension, the communicative capacity of both parties and their intentions to solve the problem.

What happens if my partner doesn’t like my family and I can’t fix it?

At an unsustainable point, where your partner flatly refuses to have a relationship with your family, you may feel like you have to choose. However, it is not always such a radical decision.

Although it is true that in monogamous and stable relationships, in-laws almost always have some degree of contact with their partner, this can be modulated and adapted. By reaching a mutual agreement, you should be able to divide your time between your family and your partner..

And if your partner puts you in the position of having to choose between your relationship and your family, you may have to do it. Although it is a hard moment and one that you should not have to go through, try to make your decision as honest as you can and that it is in accordance with your values ​​and preferences, and those of your partner; which does not mean that you should take them into account.

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