How a narcissist in love acts –

Narcissists crave perfect romantic love, as well as absolute adoration. Many times people believe that narcissistic individuals only love themselves, just like Narcissus in Greek myth, who fell in love with his own reflection.

But in reality it is the opposite. The narcissist generally struggles with fragile self-esteem and very intense feelings of shame.

The grandiose thinking they demonstrate, as well as the clamor for attention and admiration, are defense mechanisms that help them keep all those painful feelings hidden.

It is as if with this attitude they say to themselves: “How can I have anything to be ashamed of when other people admire and love me so much?”

Narcissists need to reinforce and increase their ego and they achieve this through the supposed admiration that others feel towards them and above all through the envy they believe they have of them.

Some narcissists can even take this to a higher level by making others fall in love with them. And because these people are nourished by those who desire them, they learn to awaken these feelings in others.

To do this, they make their target feel important and highly valued. They profess love constantly to make them feel special. They also tend to be very kind, give gifts, give compliments and dedicate themselves to giving pleasure to others in bed.

The narcissist works on the other person’s ego, pampers him and sows the seed of love. They can be very charming, flirtatious and seductive.

They are one of those people who will flatter anyone shamelessly if they want something from them. This behavior is not always conscious and intentional.

In fact, sometimes narcissists deceive themselves about their true emotional intentions, so much so that they may believe that they have really fallen in love.

Being ‘in love’

The narcissist seeks perfect romantic love, the idealized and unrealistic one, the kind we see in movies or read about in books. Falling in love can feel like a drug because it causes a feeling of being on cloud nine.

It is also capable of temporarily blinding people, either to their own flaws and imperfections or even to the dissatisfactions they may feel in other areas of their lives.

Falling in love makes people feel like they are the center of the universe and that their lives are perfect. Nothing feels better while it lasts.

Therefore, it is understandable that narcissists have such a strong desire to seek this feeling, since being ‘in love’ satisfies most of their narcissistic needs.

Read about how to find true love

What does love mean to a narcissist?

When a narcissist says they are in love with someone, what they mean is that they love the story they can tell about their ex to their next partner.

You will be able to talk about how beautiful everything was, how intense it was, that they were an exceptional couple, just like what happens in movie stories. But not only this.

When a narcissist admits to being in love, what they mean is that they love the way they feel when they are with that person. He loves himself through his partner. He loves seeing himself through those eyes. And he is fascinated by imagining how that person sees him.

This ‘love’ allows you to have someone new to tell your stories to, to have someone express your opinions to, and to share your deep theories and beliefs about the important things in life.

What a narcissist in love loves is having someone handsome to accompany him, just as if it were a new outfit. He loves the way the other person feels with him. And above all he loves the way he feels when that person is with him.

He also loves not being alone and having someone at his disposal full time. He also likes to know that he is the object of the other’s obsession and that it is what keeps him up all night.

But above all, a narcissist in love will want to be the owner of the other person’s time. To be his sun, his orbit, that is, his world revolves around him. He wants to keep that person attracted to him regardless of whether she wants to leave. He loves to make that other person his prisoner.

‘Perfect’ love doesn’t last

Unlike fairy tales, ‘perfect’ romantic love cannot last forever.

Hopefully, this evolves into something more realistic and lasting, where the two people discover and accept each other’s strengths and faults.

In this process they come to appreciate the good qualities that each person has, but also to accept the characteristics that may be disappointing.

However, true narcissists cannot tolerate this type of experience. To be emotionally honest and open with their partner, they would also have to have an authentic relationship with themselves.

They would have to accept the shame and low self-esteem that they have always wanted to keep at bay.

When the person they say they are in love with tries to approach them in this way, they feel emotionally pressured and pull away because they say the person is “too demanding.”

That is when the previous feelings of perfect and romantic love begin to fade along with the idealization of their partner and therefore the narcissist falls out of love.

Have you fallen in love with a narcissistic person before? What has been your experience? Don’t forget to share this article on your social networks.

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