Abusive children: a growing phenomenon

The numbers are increasing. More and more cases are known of abusive children who violently attack their parents, not only verbally, but also physically. It is precisely the cases of physical assault that have triggered complaints. Statistics indicate that these types of situations are more frequent among adolescent men and that mothers are the main victims of this behavior.

During the 20th century, the great concern that surrounded the world of young people was associated with what was called “the sexual revolution.” Everything seems to indicate that during the 21st century the problem revolves around the high levels of violence that new generations have reached.

The emperor syndrome

“Emperor syndrome”: this is what this set of traits that make up a child ended up being called. abuser. And it seems that there is something in them that makes them feel like they are the center of the world. They exercise a kind of power over their parents, as if the latter were their subordinates or, in any case, depended on them.

Children abusers They are narcissists. They think their wants and needs are more worthy of attention than those of any other mortal on earth. Therefore, they are selfish and incapable of empathizing with the needs of others. Only themselves matter.

Abusive children tend to be quite stubborn and, at the same time, have very little perseverance with their personal projects. In fact, it takes a lot of work for them to make a plan and follow it to the end. For them the issue is more on the side of whims: they want something and they want it now, but they do not seek to achieve it, but rather for someone to give it to them. Once they get it, they almost always quickly stop wanting it.

They are also quite insensitive. They completely lack empathy: they do not know, nor are they interested in knowing, what it feels like to be in someone else’s place. They are generally filled with anguish. They do not find a North and they do not develop values, in the deep sense of the term. For this reason, attacking their parents certainly does not seem reprehensible to them. “They ask for it,” he will say.

The home of an abuser

In cases of abusive children there is almost always some background of education, which results in indolence towards their parents. If there was abuse or some type of violence between their parents, it is natural for them to repeat those patterns of behavior.

In general, they come from homes in which overprotection (understood as extreme control) alternated with overdemanding. There was probably severe criticism of his behavior and then, as if to alleviate the excesses, permissiveness was imposed.

It is also common for them to come from families with high rates of violence, in which physical punishment was considered a “normal” practice. So “normal” that children learn to assume it as the norm to process differences and conflicts.

There are those who describe these abusive children as a type of “emotionally illiterate.” They don’t know what to do with what they feel, because they were never educated to understand themselves, nor to exercise control over their emotions. Undoubtedly, behind an abusive child there is an upbringing with serious deficiencies.

The bad news is that it is not easy to eradicate these behavioral patterns. The good news is that it is not impossible either. This is a process that generally requires professional intervention and in which all family members must be involved. The result, surely, is always good for everyone.

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