What to do when he isolates himself? |

The couple is doing very well, when suddenly, without the woman expecting it, the man closes in, goes to a corner of the house and isolates himself. She tries to find out what happened, but he says it’s nothing. She keeps insisting, after all, until a few minutes ago he was smiling and now he has that face… He keeps saying that there is no problem, that she can stay calm and that it is better that she do something else. But she can’t relax. A million possibilities run through her mind. Did she say something offensive? Is he hiding something from her?

The tension becomes unbearable and she starts to demand that he talk about what’s going on, because, as she is his wife/girlfriend/fiancée, she needs to know. He gets extremely irritated with this insistence and when you least realize it, both are screaming at each other. He moves further away, she might cry in a corner. If it’s severe, maybe he’ll even leave the house to be really alone. She can’t help but think about how gross he is and how he doesn’t respect her.

But what happened here?

If this scene seems familiar to you and has been happening frequently, it’s important that you know now: probably nothing much was happening. It was all illusion of her female head. Yes, men and women react differently to situations and both must respect and understand these differences.

Yes, men and women react differently to situations and both must respect and understand these differences.

For a better understanding, when men feel embarrassed, doubtful, upset or nervous, they tend to withdraw and isolate themselves. It’s his way of dealing with what’s going on. It’s not natural for a man to sit next to a woman and start venting everything he feels. He wants to be sure that he can handle it himself and to do that, he needs to be silent, relaxing, doing things that distract him, while he thinks about his situation.

The woman, on the other hand, every time she has a problem, she wants to be heard, cherished, protected. A man often listens to this outburst as a barrage of criticism, even because he wants to see his partner well. And as she stands there, complaining to him, she somehow feels responsible and guilty. This tends to embarrass you.

Following this same reasoning, the man, who does not want to make his partner feel bad for him, isolates himself, implying that the problem is not her. In fact, he’ll feel better if, while he’s withdrawn, she has fun, doing something she enjoys. For he will be relieved of one more guilt, that of not being paying due attention to him.

But why does the woman despair when the man isolates himself? Because as she needs to verbalize what she feels and that’s exactly what he doesn’t do, she doesn’t understand what’s going on and that makes her more and more distressed. How can she deal with something she doesn’t know about?

In these moments, we really need to get to know each other more to the point of trusting and letting go.

So the next time your man hides, let him. If he says, “It’s okay and it’s not a problem,” it’s a sign that you can get back to your own tasks. Who knows, maybe he feels so good that you respected him that he might even confess to one or another thought that troubles him, asking for your opinion?