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What kind of daughter-in-law are you?

So much is said about mothers-in-law, often seen as the mothers of “dear and spoiled children” or mothers “domineering and hustling for daughters”, but women who are daughters-in-law also carry their stigmas. Is it for nothing or is this also justified?

Many mothers-in-law complain about their daughters-in-law, but they hardly ever complain about their sons-in-law. Women tend to think that their daughters can and should bear with a difficult husband more patiently, and they also try to win the son-in-law’s sympathy.

They pamper the daughter’s husband, they are usually nice and when he is completely out of control they ask for calm… for the daughter, not for her husband. Yes, there are still remnants of a macho society in which women put up with everything!

negative daughter-in-law

But when it comes to the daughter-in-law (and not the son-in-law), things change, because the daughter-in-law is not always that angelic being, the victim of a jealous mother-in-law.

Often the daughter-in-law is the one who prevents the mother-in-law from continuing to be a mother, sometimes she is jealous of her husband and wants “total power” over him, preventing or creating serious difficulties for the mother-in-law to visit the couple’s house.

Below are some behaviors that a daughter-in-law is capable of when she is very possessive, insecure or controlling:

She often complains about her mother-in-law to her husband, even distorting the facts to manipulate him. In front of her husband, she is falsely kind, but away from him, she spits out cruel remarks about her mother-in-law. He creates difficulties for the mother-in-law to live with her son and grandchildren, even if they like the grandmother. He uses subtle ironies in order to embarrass and covertly attack his mother-in-law. He causes stressful situations by playing the victim, forcing the husband to make the most childish and disruptive of choices: “either me or your mother”. She is aggressive or ironic in her comments, seeking the complicity of those present, leaving her mother-in-law – and also those present – ​​in a tight skirt, secretly enjoying the situation.

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As we can see, sometimes the “bitch” is not the mother-in-law. Women compete with each other much more than men and, in this type of conflicting relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, both lose a lot, as a real confusion of roles is installed.

What the daughter-in-law loses sight of is that the mother will never stop being a mother, whereas the woman… No, that sentence is not a threat, but an undeniable truth.

Many daughters-in-law accept interference from their own mothers, but do not accept opinions from their mothers-in-law, not even when this interference will benefit them. After all, how can they know that if they aren’t even available to listen?

Having an enemy in the mother-in-law, right from the start, can be the passport to many unpleasantness and conflicts in the family. Of course, values ​​can be very different, as well as “manias” or points of view.

But instead of setting up a ring, wouldn’t it be better to face this situation as a learning experience? Why not understand that you can live with differences and choose frank and delicate dialogue over cynicism, dissimulation or even aggression?

positive daughters-in-law

Well, certainly there are very sensible and good-willed daughters-in-law: they see in the mother-in-law a partner and an accomplice. These women can develop a sincere friendship, with space to expose their divergent points of view, striving for civility.

They can also go shopping together and ask the mother-in-law to stay with the little ones from time to time, so that the couple can date in peace.

So what kind of daughter-in-law are you? If it’s the negative type, it’s still time to reflect a little on how much time you’re wasting fighting with the wind, because a mother is a mother and that never changes.

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Take a more generous look at your mother-in-law, accept the challenge of living with the differences between you without turning it into a competition and don’t forget: your husband chose you to share his life, so there’s no reason not to love this one lady who, after all, contributed to your marriage existing!

And you, who are the “cool daughter-in-law” type, enjoy living harmoniously with your mother-in-law. The whole family can only win!

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