What does it mean when a man touches your shoulder? – Methods to flirt

Have you ever wondered what it means when a man touches your shoulder? If so, you have come to the right place: here we will explain to you what are the most common reasons for this behavior and what signs in their body language confirm them.

Since there are many reasons for a guy to touch your shoulder and each one depends on some factors, we are going to break it down according to each possible cause and explain the body language a guy shows for that particular reason.

1. He likes you

It is one of the first things you can think about, if he does it frequently and many times you feel the contact in a forced way. Furthermore, it is not a common action with the rest of the people.

What clues give him away in his body language?

He stares at you even if you’re not talking. In fact, you’ve caught him staring at you, even in a room full of people. He gets territorial with you in front of other men. He loves to talk to you all day. He is able to bring up one topic after another so as not to let the conversation die. His feet always point towards you. He leans towards you when he touches your shoulder. He does it with the intention of feeling you within his personal space. Anxiety gives him away when you talk about other men: he sweats (forehead, hands, body in general), he moves his legs and hands impatiently, he makes gestures as if to try to groom himself.

2. You want to be in control

It is a gesture to appear dominant in front of another person and it is a more common reason than you think. Generally, he does it forcefully and it is to try to show that he is stronger or has more status than you.

How do I check that this is the reason?

See if it does most of the following things:

He invades your personal space. He tells you to do things for him. Sometimes he doesn’t ask for them nicely. He tries to modulate his voice to make it sound more masculine or deeper when he talks to you. He places his feet or hands on things that aren’t his. His facial expression is tense: he doesn’t smile, he squints, He frowns, clenches his jaw, keeps his lips closed.

3. He is imitating you

Maybe he’s imitating your behavior. Usually, when a person tries to be accepted in a group, he tends to unconsciously imitate the body language of the rest.

Think about if you have ever touched him on the shoulder for any reason. If this is the case and you are sure that it is not a dominant behavior, evaluate if it also imitates the way you express yourself or act.

How do I know if he touches my shoulder to imitate me?

Some of the aspects that you can easily observe to corroborate it are the following:

He copies your way of smiling or even laughing. He uses the same language as you to express himself. He speaks at the same speed as you. His gestures are similar to those you do, such as placing your hands and feet however you sit or when you are standing, he makes the same gestures as you…He laughs at the same things as you.

4. Seek comfort

If you are going through a difficult time and he is an empathetic person, it is very likely that he will reach out to touch you on the shoulder to comfort you. Even if he trusts you, he will try to give you a hug.

How do you know if this is the cause? Simple: think about what you were talking about or what your facial/body expression was when he touched your shoulder. If it was an emotional moment, this is surely why.

5. It is normal in your culture

There are cultures where it is normal to touch people while talking. For example, in Latin culture it is extremely common for a man and a woman to touch each other when speaking—or when greeting each other—to make the conversation closer.

If he is not from your country, you should find out how people in his homeland normally treat each other.

If he is not normal, he is probably trying to dominate you or has a crush on you. In any of the latter cases, his body language will not be neutral and will give you other signals that will guide you to know why he is doing it.

6. You want to emphasize a point in the conversation

If you’re in the middle of a conversation and he’s passionate about trying to get his point across, he’s likely to tap you on the shoulder or arm to get your attention and connect with you.

How do I know if this is the case? What signs do I notice in their body language?

His eyes are open and very expressive. He speaks very quickly and in a high voice. He leans towards you. He may blush or breathe very quickly.

What other aspects to consider to know the reason?

The moment it touches your shoulder is crucial in determining the cause. For example, if he does it just when he is explaining his point of view to you on a topic that he considers interesting, it may be to emphasize and better connect with you.

Another aspect to consider is the relationship you have with him: if you have been dating or you know that he likes you, it is normal for him to show signs of attraction and connection with you.

However, it can also be a sign of control, if you have a dominant personality. So it is very important that you observe his body language and how he handles himself with other people.

If it’s a close friend or family member, they may be trying to comfort you, want to emphasize a point, or imitating you. Here the moment in which he does it and his body language come into play.

Should I also consider the place where he did it?

Yeah! Touching your shoulder while at a party surrounded by a crowd is not the same as touching you at a work meeting. In the first case, it could mean that he was attracted to you, that he wanted you to get out of the way, or that he wanted to take you out dancing.

While, in the work meeting, it could mean that he wants to dominate you, to congratulate you for something you did well or simply to connect and emphasize a topic you are discussing.

Should I also compare how he behaves with me and with other people?

Again the answer is yes. This will give you a clear idea of ​​what his intentions are with you as he reaches out to touch your shoulder. Observe in detail how he is with other women around him.

Pay attention to the way he speaks and expresses himself when he is in front of them and when he is not; whether and when you touch other people frequently.

It may sound like an art to you, but it is the only way you can be certain about the reasons why it acts that way.

Now that you know what it means when a man touches your shoulder, we invite you to share our article on your social networks, so other girls will also know why he does it.

In addition, we invite you to tell us what your experiences have been when a man touches your shoulder, how you have detected the cause and what you have done about it.