The savior complex: helping to give meaning to one’s own existence

Helping others is one of the behaviors that enjoys the most social recognition. In general, when we are altruistic we are improving the other person’s life; and therefore, at a social level it is one of the ways of acting that is most rewarded. However, Is it always good to help others? The existence of the savior complex seems to put him in doubt.

The savior complex is a psychological condition in which a person constantly feels the need to help others. This way of being leads the individual to act in somewhat extreme ways, to the point that his actions can be very harmful.

In this article we will try to understand what exactly this way of being consists of. This way, you will be able to identify it both in yourself and in others. This way, you will be able to avoid those occasions in which something as positive as help can hurt you a lot.

What does the savior complex consist of?

According to the official definition, a person with a savior complex is the one who feels the constant impulse to save others. They tend to have a great tendency to seek out individuals who require help and assist them, often sacrificing their own needs, desires and aspirations.

The problem is that These characteristics can easily lead to the creation of toxic relationships.. In general, people with this complex tend to be part of codependent couples. These are, in most cases, one of the worst types of relationships that can occur.

In them, one of the individuals needs the constant help of the other to feel good, so she thinks she can’t live without him. Meanwhile, the savior is initially reinforced by the dependence that his partner shows on him. However, after a certain time he will tend to get tired and be limited by the need for it.

Thus, in a codependent couple formed by the savior complex neither of the two involved is really happy. The love addict will generally have less and less self-esteem and self-confidence, while the other person will feel overwhelmed and will blame his or her partner.

It should be noted that this dynamic does not only occur in relationships. It is also possible that it appears among friends, family, co-workers… However, The most common thing is that it occurs in the area of ​​romantic relationships..

How to avoid this dynamic

Below you will find a series of keys that will help you avoid forming dependency relationships. If you think you suffer from a savior complex in some sense, Applying them to your life can be very helpful..

Remember that you are only responsible for yourself. Each person has to take charge of their own life, their emotions and their actions. Therefore, you are not obligated to save anyone if it is not what makes you happy.Learn to say no. For many people, refusing to do what someone they care about asks them to do is extremely difficult. However, failure to do so inevitably leads to dependency and resentment. Therefore, mastering techniques such as assertiveness can greatly help you improve your relationships.Set your limits. Surely, if you have characteristics related to the savior complex, you genuinely like to help others. Therefore, you must find out how far you want to go when you do it. Is there anything you really don’t enjoy doing? What is the point at which helping others becomes a burden for you?Put your happiness first. Most of us have grown up with the idea that caring about our own well-being before that of others is selfish. However, if an action is going to make you unhappy, there is no point in doing it. If you really want to help, try to find a way to do it without getting hurt.

Learn to ask for help. People with a savior complex hardly ask others for help, even in those moments when they need it most. Therefore, to achieve a balance, the ideal is that we also know how to ask for help, in addition to giving it. Let’s remember that we have to be for ourselves if we want to be for others.Identify ways to help others by making it easier for them to help themselves in the future. The best help is that which teaches the other to get out of the problem on their own. For example, if a loved one needs money, instead of lending it to them we can help them find a way to generate income. Thus, we avoid dependency relationships in the future.

To conclude, if you want to get rid of the savior complex, you need to examine yourself honestly. Only by doing so and remembering that you are only responsible for your own happiness will you be able to create and take care of relationships that provide well-being.

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