How long will it take me to get over my breakup?

When love is broken, it is difficult to unite the fractures of one’s own heart again. The memories hurt, the emptiness in the house and you even feel chills when thinking about tomorrow without the presence of said person. We must reformulate everything, including ourselves, healing wounds, purposes and calming the whirlwind of those emotions that make us so desperate.

Griefs due to a breakup are not easy. There is also no instruction manual that serves us all equally and when faced with the eternal question of when this absence will stop hurting, there is no conclusive answer. Each person needs their own time to go through this complex and challenging experience.

It is ironic to see how sometimes it is not too difficult for us to leave behind people with whom we have been with two or ten years. On other occasions, love that has lasted only a couple of months is never completely overcome. There is always the scar, the nostalgia, the dreams that remind us of that experience and even the quiet desire to meet that figure again.

Something that we must be clear about is that the pain we suffer after the end of that bond is not eternal.. Illusions, motivation and internal calm will germinate within us little by little…

Eliminating our ex-partner from our social networks is an essential step to overcome that breakup.

The days it will be difficult for me to get over my breakup

Overcome, turn the page, heal the wound of the breakup, resume our life, learn to live without the person we loved… We can define this process in multiple ways, but from a psychological point of view it implies the same reality: reducing emotional suffering and habituate the brain to living without that figure that was significant to us.

If we focus on the neurological aspect it is for a reason. Our brain is not prepared to deal with breakups, so much so that it processes these situations as a physical injury.. Helen Fisher, the well-known anthropologist who has taught us so much about love, conducted an interesting study on breakups in 2009.

Something that became evident is that love for itself is in many cases like an addiction. When this addictive component is removed, the brain not only begins a process of bitter withdrawal, it also goes into panic. It is common to develop very negative thoughts and allow ourselves to be overcome by complex emotions.

Thus, and in the face of this discomfort, it is common for us to have a question: how much will it cost me to get over my breakup? We try to answer this issue.

According to science, you should give yourself between six months and a year on average

In research carried out in the United Kingdom, they concluded that those couples who had been married and later divorced usually turned the page completely after a year. The level of mental stress and the burden of negative emotions gradually faded, until, after 12 months, they gave way to a more positive stage.

On average, getting over a breakup would take between six months and a year. The stage of grief, that is, that phase in which one faces emotions such as anguish, anger, sadness or melancholy, should not go beyond three to six months.

From that moment on, the necessary reconstruction of oneself would begin, in which to make new plans, start new friendships and other daily dynamics with which to completely close a stage of our life.

If the relationship was no longer very significant, you will need three months

There are many types of breakups. There are traumatic and unexpected ones, those in which from one day to the next we are betrayed or abandoned. When a relationship ends unilaterally and love is still latent in us, the grief will be more complex.

However, sometimes, there are agreed points and endings and ruptures that one senses will come. In those cases where affection is about to expire and distance is seen as something necessary, it will not be many months until we overcome that end. Usually it can be two or three months; long enough to accept what happened and adapt.

Getting over a breakup will take much longer if you do the following:

As we have pointed out, the time to overcome an emotional breakup always depends on multiple variables. There are people that we cannot erase from our minds and that leave a deep mark on us. On the other hand, we leave others behind without excessive traumas and complications.

However, Sometimes grieving over the end of a relationship lasts too long. But how much is too much? -we will ask ourselves-. If six months have passed and we see our quality of life as very limited and conditioned by feelings of negativity and hopelessness, it is advisable to request specialized help.

There is light at the end of a breakup, but the darkness will trap us if we carry out the following practices:

Start a replacement relationship a few days after experiencing a breakup. Let us remember that “liana relationships” or jumping from one person to another to forget the first person do not work.The duel will last indefinitely if we monitor our ex-partner on social networks. The desire to know what is happening in your life at every moment makes the discomfort chronic. Choosing isolation and avoiding social connection. Holding on to memories and feeding resentment about what happened makes the grief due to a breakup chronic.Obsess over getting back in touch and requesting a new opportunity place us in states of great helplessness.

Sometimes, even when a breakup is mutually agreed upon, we can experience it in a traumatic way.

Remember, time does not heal emotional pain, your strategies do.

Time, the pages we tear off the calendar or the days we add after that end, do not heal or make us forget. In fact, we will never forget the one we once loved and had to let him go. However, the ideal and necessary thing is to learn to live with that absence and turn to ourselves to recover happiness.

Therefore, it is important to clarify that there is no standard for how long it will take us to overcome said relationship. There are those who will need a couple of months and others a little more. The important thing is to develop appropriate strategies to regulate emotional pain. The decisive thing is not to get stuck in irrational ideas or undervalue ourselves. for thinking that we were not enough for said person.

To overcome a relationship breakup we need large doses of self-love, reformulate goals and purposes and connect with the environment, friends, family and interesting people. Let’s not close the doors of our hearts just because a relationship didn’t go well. Loving is always worth it and loving ourselves to enjoy existence, even more so.

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