Home » Romance Advice » The main reason why you fall in love with the wrong person –

The main reason why you fall in love with the wrong person –

Falling in love with the wrong person and then suffering the harsh emotional consequences is something that has happened to almost all of us. It is one of the most painful things we can face and, unfortunately, it happens to some very frequently.

But this is not a random situation: there is a reason why we ignore all the warning signs until we reach the point of no return. Today we will tell you why the same thing always happens to you.

5 reasons that lead you to fall in love with the wrong person

It is not uncommon to superficially or at first sight like a person you don’t know very well. After a short time, you realize that for whatever reason they are not compatible and that’s it, it’s nothing more than a temporary disappointment.

But supposedly, to truly fall in love, people need time, coexistence and reciprocity. So how is it possible that you still end up loving someone who is clearly not for you?

Here are the five most common reasons why we fall in love with the wrong person:

1. You are following a psychological pattern

If you learned from childhood that love equals suffering, it is very likely that you follow and attract toxic patterns without realizing it.

For example, if you have been surrounded by authoritarian and imposing men, as an adult you might unconsciously seek out those kinds of profiles for your romantic relationships; although in reality it is not what you want or what you need.

The same applies with codependent, violent or abusive dynamics. Although there is a large universe of potential partners who would value and care for us, deep down we are “programmed” to fall in love with precisely those who harm us the most.

2. You idealize people too much

All human beings have flaws and virtues, but some people are too prone to forget the flaws of another when they start to like them. This leads them to fall in love quickly and thoughtlessly.

The more feelings they develop, the more and more they idealize him, to the point of convincing themselves that he is the true love of their lives. Sometimes they don’t even need the loved one to show them signs of reciprocity or even sympathy.

If this happens to you, you have not actually fallen in love with a real human being of flesh and blood, but with a perfect idea that only exists in your head.

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3. You seek to compensate for your shortcomings

If you feel that you are not a very attractive person, you probably have a tendency to fall in love with others just because they are pretty. Or if you have never been in a good financial position, purchasing power can be a factor that leads you to feel like you love someone.

In both cases, falling in love does not derive from a real affinity, but from the need to compensate for an emotional or social lack, real or imaginary.

It is very common to see, for example, that those who have a very fragile ego fall in love with people who have an overly inflated ego or a certain level of fame and recognition.

4. You have very low self-esteem

When we don’t consider ourselves capable of inspiring love and respect in another being, we settle for literally anything.

So, anyone who gives us a little attention and affection, even if they are not the type of partner that we would really like, makes us fall madly in love, since we are convinced that he or she is the only one who will love us.

Those who don’t love themselves almost always fall in love with exploited people who only use them and then throw them away. The worst thing is that once this happens, instead of realizing that they got rid of a toxic person, they become depressed and miserable.

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5. You meet very few new people

It is perfectly expected to fall in love with the wrong person, when one does not know many people and cannot compare between different types of personalities.

If your social circle is very restricted and you are completely in love with someone who does not suit you or does not correspond to you, the most likely reason is simply that your outlook is very limited, not that there is something wrong with you.

If you give yourself the opportunity to travel and do different things with different people, it is highly likely that you will quickly forget about that supposed “great love.”

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Consequences of loving the wrong person

Falling in love with the wrong person does not have serious consequences, as long as you realize it in time and do what is necessary to forget them. But if the situation drags on for too long and you stay for months or years with that obsession, it is almost certain that:

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– Your self-esteem will end up on the floor.

– You will begin to believe that you are not worthy of anyone’s love.

– You will lose valuable opportunities to love and be loved by others.

Why do we fall in love with someone who doesn’t love us?

Ideally, falling in love would have to be a mutual and progressive process. In other words, two like-minded people gradually send each other signs of reciprocity, through which they dare to open up and bond more and more.

When someone doesn’t love us back, we don’t have those signs, so the most logical thing would be not to fall in love. But sometimes we are so determined not to see reality, that we “invent” those signals and feed back our false illusion.

Falling in love with the wrong person can also happen when someone with bad intentions or few principles “gives us wings” (or pretends that they are also falling in love) and in the end it turns out that they were just playing.

What to do if falling in love with the wrong person hurts a lot?

Pain is inevitable when we love someone who does not love us back or with whom, for whatever reason, we cannot or should not be. Although you can’t avoid a certain amount of emotional pain, you can avoid unnecessary suffering.

Keep in mind that this is something that happens to many people, not just you. The world is not ending. You have to learn to let go of what cannot be, to move on and forget.

Falling in love with the wrong person: phrases you can say to him

Here are some phrases with which you can express to that person what you feel:

– How could I not fall in love with you, with all the virtues that I invented for you?

– If I had known from the beginning how things were going to be, I probably would have walked away in time.

– There were many warning signs, but I decided to ignore them all because what I feel for you is too strong.

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Falling in love with the wrong woman: what to do?

This depends a lot on why you feel she is “the wrong woman.” Is it because she doesn’t love you back? Are they not ideologically compatible? Don’t they live in the same city? Do you already have a partner?

Some obstacles are insurmountable and others are not. First analyze if what makes your relationship “impossible” really is an immovable factor or has a solution. If you come to the conclusion that there is nothing you can do to make it work, it is best to move on and forget.

Falling in love with a person with a partner: is there a solution?

When you fall in love with someone who already has a partner, three things can happen: he doesn’t love you; it corresponds to you, but it does not leave her partner; he reciprocates and leaves his partner for you.

In any case, one or all of those involved will end up hurt, so it is best to keep your distance from the people involved, this way you avoid falling in love with someone you shouldn’t.

What to do if I noticed the wrong person?

Just accept that this is someone with whom you would not be happy in the long run, stop idealizing them and learn to let go of that stubborn desire to be together. Rest assured that destiny has something much better waiting for you.

What to do if I’m in love with the wrong person?

I wish it were as easy as telling yourself “forget it” or “fall out of love.” Sometimes love is capricious and no matter how much we know it hurts us, we can’t let it go.

Maybe that feeling doesn’t disappear overnight and you have to learn to deal with it until little by little you transform it into a more manageable kind of nostalgia. But what you can do now is physically distance yourself from that person and cut off all contact. It sounds hard, but it’s the first step to overcoming it.

Falling in love with the wrong person is never a pleasant sight, but it probably happens to all of us at some point. So you have to learn to deal with it and put aside the dramas.

Tell us what your experiences have been and don’t forget to share these tips on your social networks.

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