15 rules of open relationships for a better love life –

Open relationships are taboo for many, but every day more and more people are opting for this type of dynamic, and maybe it works for you.

Either way, as in all types of relationships, there are some unwritten rules that will help everything go better.

Open relationships are even more complex than traditional relationships. They may seem like they are full of fun and adventure, but they also have their rough side. Not everything is as happy as it seems.

There are some couples who enjoy a perfectly open relationship and are very happy with all aspects of their lives. Which shows us that living an open relationship is possible, but no one said it was easy.

If you and your partner live under the logic that sexual attraction and love are different things, and have decided to have an open relationship, be sure to consider the following rules:

Rules of open relationships for beginners

First of all, you should know that there are no rules written in stone on the subject. What suits one couple may not suit another. These are just general recommendations that have nevertheless proven to be quite effective.

Also read about the 10 signs that your partner wants to leave you

1.- Make sure they are both ready

When two people have been in a monogamous relationship for a long time, the idea of ​​having sex with third parties can seem exciting and fun.

But before you jump in headfirst, you both need to be sure that it’s really what you want and that you can deal with the consequences, whatever they may be, of opening your relationship to other people.

If they aren’t, chances are it will go from being a fling to being a real deal breaker.

2.- First do a test

Before you head straight into a final exchange, why not try just going out flirting at a party or a bar, separately and without it going any further? The next day, talk about the experience you had and honestly discuss how it makes you feel.

If jealousy appears immediately, it may not be the right time to establish an open relationship. If, on the other hand, you feel excited and curious, you can consider taking the next step.

3.- Lust is not the same as a change in lifestyle

Sometimes we can confuse sexual boredom with the idea that an open relationship is a good alternative.

But when we do something out of mere boredom or lust, without really being convinced that monogamy is not what we want, it is most likely that one of those involved will end up deeply hurt.

You can try asking yourself these questions: Do you both still feel like entering into an open relationship minutes after having satisfactory sexual relations?

If you’re not excited about sleeping with someone else when you’re not horny, chances are it’s just a purely sexual fantasy. In these cases, an occasional exchange of partners may be more convenient than a radical change in your monogamous dynamic.

Read our definitive guide to find out if he liked having sex with you

4.- Avoid mutual friends

If you’re both fully convinced that an open relationship is what you want, here’s a great rule to start with: stay away from mutual friends. Always try to look for partners who are not involved in your lives beyond the sexual issue.

The emotions you can have with a third party in an open relationship are very similar to those of an affair in a context of infidelity, with the enormous difference that both your partner and the other party must be aware from the beginning.

It may seem tempting not to tell the other person that your partner is aware of their affair and it is consensual, but it is best to keep things as clear and honest from the beginning to avoid unpleasant surprises.

Don’t forget that having an open relationship and sharing that information with someone you don’t trust can bring you a lot of problems, so first of all, make sure it’s a mature person with the same line of thought.

Read our guide on the 10 rules for being friends with benefits

5.- Hide the details, not the people

An open relationship requires a very delicate balance between love, desire and a lot of trust.

If you take things too far, you may end up making your partner feel insecure and even hurting them, or vice versa. It’s a sexual agreement between two people, so don’t hide anything relevant. But don’t delve into details that could gratuitously provoke jealousy either.

6.- Have sex, but don’t fall in love

This can be one of the most complex parts of having an open relationship, but it is also one of the first things you should remember, and above all, follow through with. A dynamic may not be monogamous sexually speaking, but it may be monogamous emotionally.

So unless you and your partner are at a polyamorous level, try to keep feelings at bay that could jeopardize your relationship.

It’s not just about sleeping with strangers that you don’t care about, since they do have to be people you really trust and who you really appreciate. But not people you are going to fall in love with. It is different.

7.- You are going to feel jealous, accept it

You may feel jealous or envious, especially if your partner is getting more attention than you. In fact, it is one of the first feelings that will appear.

Many couples fail to overcome this first phase and return to traditional monogamy or break up, but those who manage to anticipate these negative feelings and manage them with communication usually find a good balance.

8.- Not everyone has to know it

It’s not that they’re doing anything wrong that they have to hide, but let’s face it, the world may not be ready for the evolution of couple dynamics yet.

It may be something you share with your close friends, but your grandma, your boss, or the guy at the grocery store don’t need to know what kind of lifestyle you lead, and you don’t need to get caught up in any kind of ill-intentioned, uninformed gossip.

9.- Nothing changes between you

Just because you’re now having casual sex from time to time with other people doesn’t mean the way you’ve always gotten along has to change. You should not allow it and you should not let sex with others take away quality time between you.

Opening yourself sexually to the world is a tool to increase intimacy between you, not eliminate it.

10.- Communicate

You don’t need to exchange all the dirty details. Although if you like, you can do it

But they must be aware of each other’s experiences, needs and insecurities, and also know, even in general terms, the others involved, whether each has an alternate sexual partner or both share the same one, as in a trio.

Lack of communication in an open relationship is a direct path to failure.

11.- Protect yourselves

Living la vida loca can be a lot of fun, until you, your partner, or both of you contract a venereal disease. There is absolutely no valid excuse to expose ourselves or the person we love.

Protection must be a constant and whenever possible, a blood test.

12.- Define clear rules

Every couple is different, and what works for one may not work at all for another. Having an “open relationship” actually means that you are doing something different than monogamy, but that still leaves a lot of possibilities.

Make it clear what you want and what bothers you and, like a contract, stick to the rules. In addition, they should avoid accepting agreements that ultimately do not make either of them feel good, as well as putting pressure on each other in any way.

13.- Be flexible

The first agreement in an open relationship doesn’t always work for both of you permanently. Things change and that’s okay. But any change in the rules must be discussed, agreed upon and fully accepted by both.

14.- Remember who is first

You may love your new sexual partner and the time you spend with them may be very enjoyable.

But never forget that in an open relationship there are hierarchies, and at the top is your partner. Then the others. So never sacrifice quality time with the person you love for a purely sexual matter with someone else.

15.- Define times

Sometimes it helps to make rules a little more precise. Like how many times or how many people they are allowed to get involved with in a certain period of time.

At first, this can help give security to both, although ideally there is an agreement of mutual freedom and trust.

An open relationship is about allowing yourself to enjoy other experiences with other people without it affecting the relationship the two of you have.

It doesn’t work for everyone and it’s not something that should be taken lightly. It is not a game that they can experience out of boredom, but rather it is a change in lifestyle that derives from a real conviction that monogamy is not the decision they want to make.

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