Sexual dysfunction and the effects of pornography addiction

Let’s open this conversation by stating that pornography addiction it is a matter is serious, it is serious and it is not recent. To give you an idea, the University of Cambridge, London, in a 2013 study ¹, already brought us alarming results on this issue, having even become the subject of a documentary Porn on the Brain, from 2013.

The Study states that “people with pornography addiction show similar brain activity to alcoholics or drug addicts.”

the chief scientist Dr. Valerie Voonfrom the Department of Psychiatry, states: “We found increased activity in an area of ​​the brain called ventral striatewhich is a reward center, involved in the processing of reward, motivation and pleasure.”.

He continues: “When an alcoholic sees an advertisement for a drink, his brain lights up in a certain way and is stimulated in a certain way. We are seeing this same type of activity in pornography users.”

I propose that we analyze this based on some questions, let’s see: We are all addicted to pornography just because we are users of it? Of course.

You don’t become an addict just by using pornography, you have to consider individual factors such as organic predispositions, such as the one that plagues the chemically dependent (and we are grateful for this in the study above).

This already explains to us why some make recreational use of alcohol and even illicit drugs for years and simply abandon it, while others bitter dependence sometimes after recreational contact in a single weekend.

Pornography today is on the virtual world his address, given the bankruptcy of men’s magazines and the disappearance of the few women’s magazines (if they ever existed in fact).

Therefore, factors such as ease of internet accessThe diversity of optionsthe impossibility of exhausting the search (12% of websites on the internet are aimed at pornography, around 76.2 million websites), are elements that should join warning signs to anyone who already finds their relationship with pornography or those who already feel the damage from using it.

Here I am referring not only to the “dependent” himself, but to parents, companions or companions who, in some way, far beyond having noticed a change in behavior in the person with whom they relate, are already being directly affected by the effects of addiction in pornography.

How do you determine who is addicted to pornography?

This question is delicate, and has an open answer to several other possibilities, let’s explore some.

Firstly, one must assess the level of self-suffering with the use of pornography and self-pleasure.

Evaluate how your way of relating to the world and to the other would be suffering damage with your need for pornographyis an important issue for this individual.

Most likely, if the answer is yes, that is, if you or those around you are already noticing social damage or suffering, most likely you are already being affected by the need to access pornography, you become a serious candidate for addiction to pornography.

You see, there are people who reach the point of absurdity of no longer relating to others, because they have been replaced by virtual world, your costumes and yours endless offers.

Such individuals arrive at a idealization so big of yours way to feel pleasurea super dependence on the desires of the “ME”, that the other becomes uninteresting, in fact the other can even become a problem, as it will be the agent of repression of his free pleasure lived in pornography, this, his companion who will never judge him.

It’s all part of a mix of one exercise of self-pleasure by pornography, and a form of escape from the great challenges of meeting the other (alterity), therefore, lures that will also take their toll, most likely with suffering.

Reports by psychologists and psychiatrists specialized in human sexuality, as well as my experience in the office, bring individuals between 25 and 30 years old, representing the highest age group of incidence of this addiction.

However, this problem can affect everyone, and the common factor for these people to seek professional help to get rid of pornography is the need to to feel desire for the other again.

Another important factor is when these individuals are being charged by their partners and current partners, as they feel abandoned in the relationship, exchanged for an intangible competitor.

Reports from potential office addicts are: absence of desiresomehow they miss physical contact with each other, yet they do not feel the sexual desire on the other, men cease to have erection (erectile dysfunction), or even lose the ability to have orgasms (anorgasmia).

There is also the absence of libidobecause they no longer have sexual desire to share in the encounter with the other and the other, there are those who hurt their genitals with the excessive masturbationveritable thefts of one’s own body.

These are just a few examples of sexual dysfunctions depending on pornography. It is worth noting here that the incidence of addiction is well greater in men than in women.

Research shows that only 10% of men say they have not looked for pornography on the internet (I still think we have liars answering there), while among women, about 30 to 40% say they have never accessed it.

This is due to large differences between men and women in relation to pleasurewith the body and with society (the way they are created).

We don’t have the space here to delve into that, however, a few factors stand out.

Man is much more affected by visual stimulus than the woman. The woman, in turn, is more sensitive to touch, she likes conquest, seduction.

The man has a relationship with masturbation infinitely more developed than women, this, of course, is due to a repressive patriarchal system that indoctrinates us, since childhood, to be different in nature. relationship with the body.

Starting with the anatomical difference of the genital organ which, in men, because it is easier to access, makes him play with his penis from a young age and, when caught, he receives the indication to do this elsewhere, including from his mothers.

While women, in addition to the difficulty in touching, when caught in this curious search for pleasure in childhood, receive “that” scolding, often followed by the absurdities: “a girl doesn’t do those things!”; “Is that the way of a girl!?”, and other blah-blah-blah, often from their own mothers.

Finally, on a case-by-case basis, it is the best way to define who the addict is, seeking help is an excellent way, starting, I would indicate, with the partner herself, then with professionals in the field so that the dilemma of – It’s one thing to consume pornography, it’s another to be consumed by it – addiction.

Giving up sex with someone else and going virtual

What we should always look for here is to identify suffering or not, that is, we can even say that yes, it is acceptable, as long as the person, or who shares their sexual life with them, does not suffer from it.

Human sexual orientations are much more varied than we think, not just being attracted to the opposite or the same sex; human sexuality is a vast field, difficult and infinite to explore.

There is, for example, a current in favor of eternal solo pleasure, called “Autosexuals” which, despite being an old classification, predating the internet (in 1989, sexual therapist Bernard Apfelbaum created the concept of “autosexuality”, defining it such as difficulty feeling sexual attraction by other people), we must respect, before accepting the pleasure possibilitieswithout the other, as something definitive in someone’s life, we must always seek to have, or not, our own suffering or that of our partner.

What would pornography be?

Well, these days it’s hard to stick what exactly is pornography or just an exercise of your pleasure. If we go historically through pornography, then it becomes even more difficult.

There were times when masturbation itself was already considered a pornographic act, a woman in a two-piece bikini on the beach was an offense to indecency, a woman saying free for sex it was an attack on the state, let us not lie Leila Diniz, considered the woman who freed Brazil in the middle of the military dictatorship, coining phrases such as:

“I can give it to everyone, but I don’t give it to just anyone”; “About my life, my way of living, I don’t keep the slightest secret. I am a free girl”; “You can love one person very much and go to bed with another. It’s already happened to me.”

This woman, who prematurely left us at the age of 27, preached only the freedom of the womanand this, far beyond being considered pornography, was considered a danger to the order established by the state, at the time the hateful military regime, which even asserted censorship of the press after Leila Dinis’ interview with Pasquim, censorship addressed to the small mouth of “Decree Leila Diniz”.

See, the highest pursuit of right to feel pleasure how we choose to feel, a simple individual freedom without forcing anyone to practice it with you, without the nude being part of it, it was, in the late 1960s and early 1970s, forgive me the term “braba pornography”.

That’s because we don’t have time here in this article to delve into the gender issues, most likely victims of a confusion and conflict with pornography to this day. Maybe we can bring a new article approaching this theme of pornography in time, classes and genres.

Anyway, what is or is not pornography, for now we will not be able to close a definition or list, in fact pornography exists in the way that the filter of each one sees his life and perceives the world, everything, of course, under the influence the place where each one lives, the people who influenced us and a multitude of other factors, therefore, we will focus here, in this article, on how does it affect our lifethe other and the your relationship with the otherthe tripod of a relationship.

According to WHO (World Health Organization), what is natural in sexthat is, legal and healthy, is what you do with someone, as long as it does not cause physical, moral or psychic damage, neither to you nor to the other, and of course, as long as third parties are not harmed.

Professor Leandro Karnal states that in sex, anything is possible, as long as those involved are in agreement, are older and capable (full enjoyment of their mental faculties).

Well, as I am an expert in Relationship It is Sexuality and therapist, my tip would be to always look for be as true as possiblenot only with himself, that is, from the freedom he managed to achieve in pleasure experienced through pornography.

Try to be true with the other, that is, try to expose to the other what makes you look for pornography: What are you looking for there that you don’t have here? What types of fantasies awaken your libido and lure you away from your partner? What makes you throw yourself into a world that can, in addition to throwing you into solitude, addict you to the point of making you suffer from abstinence crises…