Saying “I don’t feel well” is decisive if you have depression

How do you feel today? How is your day? Do you feel encouraged, hopeful and strong enough to face your responsibilities? There are many people who can barely handle the weight of their bodies and their invisible tons of discouragement. Depression, like any other psychological disorder, annihilates all motivation and it is very difficult to verbalize what you feel.

Where to start? There is so much that one experiences when trapped in the black hole of a mental condition that sometimes it is easier to remain silent. Sometimes we choose to keep quiet and hide because we don’t want to bother anyone with our problems. We fear that they will tell us that “you are always doing the same thing” or worse yet “what you have to do is go out and cheer yourself up.”

However, There are very difficult days when it is necessary to break the barrier of secrecy and talk to someone. Because the mind also often tricks us into believing that no one cares about us, when in reality that is not the case. The voice of depression is treacherous, manipulative and feeds the mind with lies.

Because yes, there are people who love us, who want to help us and, above all, listen to us. Saying that we are wrong, when the whole world seems to be falling apart inside us, is an act of courage. Talking about our emotions heals, liberates and will allow us to act on what happens to us. Depression does not disappear in two days or a month; Relapses and moments of darkness, after a few days of clarity, are common.

Expressing pain is more therapeutic than we think.

What is behind “I don’t feel well”?

When people have the flu, a drop in blood pressure or a migraine, we do not hesitate to tell those around us “I don’t feel well.” Instantly, that co-worker, that friend or family member will not hesitate to tell us something like “go home, call the doctor, rest, tell me if you need anything or I’ll be with you for a while until you feel better.”

However, when anxiety prevents us from breathing and anguish fills our minds with stinging negative thoughts, we choose to reserve. For keeping silent. Our society has normalized talking about physical pain, but emotional pain navigates the universe of taboo. It is difficult for us to talk about what hurts us when that suffering is mental and this aggravates these situations.

We must take into account, for example, that People with depression have very limited ability to express themselves emotionally. An investigation by Dr. Jonathan Rottenberg, author of books such as Depths: evolutionary origin of the depression epidemic (2014)tells us about an important fact.

The patient with a depressive disorder has many difficulties expressing what he or she feels. Generally, their suffering is non-verbal and materializes in their reactions, their fatigue, their expressions, their movements, etc. The act of speaking and communicating thoughts and emotions is complex and very exhausting, but that effort is necessary… It is because behind those who take the step and say out loud “I don’t feel well”, there are many needs, fears and realities that must be known.

My depression leaves me so fatigued that I need your help

Depression leaves us without energy reserves. Discouragement and hopelessness are accompanied by a continued feeling of physical weakness; The body moves more slowly and it is common to experience a great feeling of heaviness. Added to this are alterations in sleep. We can alternate between insomnia and excessive sleep.

Therefore, when someone who deals with this disorder tells us that “they don’t feel well,” they are also asking us for help.. He or she would like to be able to do everything, continue with his or her responsibilities, but it is impossible. And this is logical and permissible.

I can’t think clearly and everything seems chaotic to me

Depression is like living inside a very small house with a tiny window. Everything suffocates, the world seems to be in darkness and what we see through that tiny glass seems strange and meaningless. It is difficult to focus attention, memory fails and the outside world is chaotic. We do not identify with him.

The patient with this mental condition cannot, in most cases, handle the simplest tasks. He will forget the shopping list, he will be late for most appointments, he will forget the important things and the insignificant things…

I feel alone and I think I’m worthless

Saying “I don’t feel well” is an act of courage because it will allow us to receive support, be understood, supported, accompanied… Expressing how bad we feel is not showing weakness, but rather validating what we feel to allow us to handle what happens to us. Let us remember that there is no rush in the healing and treatment of depression. We must let ourselves love, understand and guide.

Depression is a jailer that enjoys isolating us from our environment. However, If you express out loud that you suffer, that you feel alone and that you are not well, you are fighting against it. Let’s do it, let’s fight against that voice that immobilizes us and wants us alone.

Saying that we are wrong is an excellent first step. In therapy we will be able to explain that sensation and all the emotions that accompany it much more.

I can’t describe to you everything I feel, I can only tell you that I’m wrong.

Our limbic activity is affected by putting words to our emotions (Lieberman et al., 2007). That is, the amygdala, that small neural area responsible for regulating emotions such as fear or anxiety, reduces its hyperactivity. This happens due to a very interesting fact.

Communicating, giving voice to what hurts, little by little, stimulates the prefrontal cortex, which will allow us to enhance executive functions a little more. That is, memory, reasoning and reflection will increase to minimize emotional suffering. For this reason, and although it may seem trivial to us, expressing out loud “I don’t feel well” is a gateway to improvement.

Because, It is very possible that at first we find it difficult to detail everything that happens inside us. There is fear, there is anger, hopelessness, confusion, negativity and even anger. Sometimes we even feel guilty without knowing why, and other times we even hate ourselves for no reason. Expressing all this accumulation of nonsense is difficult and even causes shame. We think that no one will understand us…

However, there are always people who are there to listen to us and understand us. Talking heals, talking frees and rebuilds those broken pieces that depression breaks with its weight, with its ominous presence. Let’s not hesitate, let’s ask for help and communicate more with those who are close to us and who love us.

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