The benefits of letting go

To live with a high degree of well-being and constant growth, we can learn to let go of situations or people that do not give us quality of life.. It is very common that it is difficult for us to let go of them, since human beings feel safer when faced with what is known. Thus, when faced with the loss of something to which we were accustomed, fear and uncertainty appear.

Couples who are not happy and are still together, jobs that make existence bitter, toxic friendships, families that restrict freedoms…There are many situations and people that surround us and worsen our well-being. And, sometimes, despite being aware of it, we insist on continuing to cling to it…

Why is it so important to learn to let go?

Because life is so changing and offers so many new things, To cling to something that doesn’t work is to settle for a very poor quality of life.

How many everyday situations have we seen and experienced in which people irrationally cling to something that does not make them happy? That friend who tells us that her lover doesn’t reciprocate her and, despite her refusal, she continues to insist unmatched? Or that coworker who steps on you every chance she gets and prevents you from realizing your full potential?

Doing that kind of thing is stagnating. While fighting for something that we know knowingly does not bear fruit, we lose the opportunity for new, better things to come to us that do bring happiness.

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Letting go means accepting each situation as it is. It means not forcing things and letting everything flow naturally.. If, for example, we write to someone we care about and we do not receive a response, it is better to accept it and move on, open up to new experiences and meet new people. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t fight for things, but the world of relationships works like a board game in which both must roll the dice and play.

If we roll the dice once and the other person doesn’t roll, there is no point in continuing to play alone, because there is no interest on the other side. The rational thing is to leave the game and find someone else who wants to play.

Playing, in this case, is showing interest. If we write to someone and they don’t answer, something is not flowing as it should. Better to accept it and change the person. If we analyze the behavior of our environment, it could be that we find several who are playing alone and stuck in relationships that do not bring them well-being.

The question trap

Usually letting go is not an easy task. Most of us, when he perceives that something that matters to him is slipping through his fingers, he tries to look for answers. Why don’t you want us to talk like before? Why have you stopped loving me? Why are you so elusive with me?

We need explanations, arguments, justifications… We tend to put pressure to get what we want and, all of this, due to lack of acceptance.

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Normally the people who value and love us will continue by our side without having to make an effort., because they will do their part to support us. Therefore, the belief that to have something you have to sacrifice is wrong, because Sacrifice without reciprocation brings frustration and stagnation.

You will notice that something is worth it when everything naturally flows and is a reciprocal give and take.

relationships, people, divorce and sexual problems concept – upset man sitting on bed with woman in bedroom

Also let the ideas go

Letting go is not only applicable to situations and people, but also to certain ideas of our own that we should let go of, to increase happiness. Many times, instead of letting everything flow, we insist on making things happen our way.

Weekend plans that don’t come to fruition, believing that without a partner you can’t be happy, going back in time to regret it, believing that we are not valid, avoiding doing things out of fear, etc… Every idea that causes a negative feeling, we should let it disappear from our minds.

If we did not have thought, we would probably enjoy life more, because we would dedicate ourselves to living the moment as it is, without trying to modify it., accepting everything as it is. We would only be focused on having a good time at that moment, we would adapt to what is there and we would not try to adapt reality to us.

Let’s get rid of attachments

Nature is wise. Even trees drop their leaves in autumn so that new, vigorous leaves can grow. Every situation can be seen from the perspective of positive or negative.

Some may see a tree losing its leaves in autumn as negative because it litters all the streets, the branches look unattractive bare, but others may see the same thing from the perspective of the positive, the streets are filled with the beauty of leaves that decorate , the branches prepare to receive new leaves and the streets are filled with magic…

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Let’s train our minds to see the good in every moment and when we feel it is necessary, let’s renew our lives, let’s let go of what makes us unhappy, let’s leave attachments behind so we can continue flowing.

Between the banks of pain and pleasure flows the river of life. Only when the mind refuses to flow with life and stagnates at the edges does it become a problem. Flow means acceptance, letting what comes come, letting go what goes.

(Sri Nisargadatta Majarj).