Negative people: 9 characteristic traits

It would be unfair to say that a person is essentially negative. All human beings have value and there is no one whom we can classify as disabled or deficient. per se. When we talk about negative people, what is being questioned is an approach, not the people themselves.

It is also valid to clarify that in human beings nothing occurs in its pure state or continuously, especially on an emotional level. Therefore, no person is totally negative or positive. Both approaches coexist in each of us. What does happen is that each person decides to emphasize one position or another.

In this article we try to expose the main characteristics that place someone in a negative position. The main victim of these attitudes It is the same person who owns them. That is why it is worth evaluating whether we are falling into any of them and recognizing that we could gain a lot if we modified this approach. To achieve this, let’s look at the 5 most characteristic attitudes of negative people.

1. Dealing with the impossible, a very negative perspective

There are many impossible in life, but some people are not willing to accept that this is so. That frustration is part of existence and that we do not always achieve what we want.

Perhaps we would have wanted to be born into a millionaire family or have grown up in an environment of great understanding. If it wasn’t, we can’t do anything. And if we focus on nostalgia or frustration for everything that was not, we will only fill ourselves with bitterness and pain.

The same thing happens when we direct our gaze towards objectives. impossible. For example, we insist on looking young when the passing of the years becomes visible on our body. Or in getting another person to behave as we believe they should behave.

Impossible goals only bring frustration and therefore, discomfort and suffering. States that feed a negative attitude. This is why acceptance is so important on a psychological level. The circumstances are what they are, some we can change and others we cannot. We must accept what we have and from there work for what we want, knowing that we will be able to achieve it or we will fall by the wayside..

2. Give up when there are barriers

Just as it is not wise to set impossible goals, it is not wise to give up. when we try to achieve something and we encounter an obstacle iron Let us not forget that every great purpose requires great efforts and a good part of the achievements are based on perseverance.

Many times in life we ​​are tempted to give up. But this is not an option when we are faced with goals that can objectively be achieved, even if they involve overcoming many difficulties. Psychologist Hillary White points out: “Giving up will make the person feel defeated. No matter how it ends, facing difficulties increases confidence”.

3. Taking things too seriously

When we have not sufficiently strengthened our self-love and maturity, we have a very sensitive ego.. We do not tolerate being embarrassed and we are afraid of making a fool of ourselves. Criticism is not good for us either, even if it is truthful and seeks to help us.

Taking things too seriously only helps to increase a negative attitude towards others and oneself.. It takes humility to not take those small social blunders so seriously. Making a fool of yourself or making a mistake only marks those who give more importance than those situations deserve.

The fact that something seems to us to carry more or less gravity, in the vast majority of cases, depends on our way of seeing life.. For some people, not knowing what to wear on a weekend out to party is a reason to generate internal conflict. For others, this aspect is unimportant.

4. Complaint as a way of life in negative people

We all complain sometimes. The problem happens when complaining is adopted as a way of life. In these cases, The vision becomes clouded and everything that is perceived is negative. There are no more options, no possibilities. Attention is directed toward one’s own misfortunes, suffering, and incapacity.

It is no longer about expressing a state of suffering, but rather about adopting a negative existential position towards the world. Actually, is a strategy to justify the absence of progress widely used by negative people.

Settling into complaint means establishing a mental pattern that will always follow the same path. We will acquire a habit that will be difficult for us to get out of. Many need to rejoice in complaining to feel comforted by others, and it can create a certain “addiction.” But even though, no matter how much it costs us, If we leave the complaint and become more optimistic people, we will begin to see everything in a much happier way..

In an article by Piqueras, Ramos and collaborators (2009)highlight that the negative emotions that arise from the complaint “They interfere with healthy habits and encourage the development of inappropriate behaviors that endanger our health.“. They also point out the relationship between negative emotions and mental and physical disorders: “Not only is there an influence of negative emotions on the onset and course of these disorders, but there is also a high comorbidity of both mental disorders and medical illnesses with anxiety and depressive disorders and with anger and disgust. pathological”.

5. They do not practice positive self-criticism

Another characteristic of this type of people is that, on the one hand, They tend to emphasize their defects and ignore or deny their virtues. This irrational belief makes them blame themselves excessively for their eventual failures and makes it impossible for them to think optimistically about the things they will be able to achieve in the future.

On the other hand, this characteristic manifests itself in severely blaming others in adverse situations. That is to say, The tendency toward negativity causes them to focus on the unfavorable aspects of themselves and others, instead of recognizing the positive parts.

6. They don’t focus on the present

Generally, Negative people often live in the past or the future, but fail to maintain their attention and motivation in the present.. They focus on past failures or worry about future failures, but they do not recognize their agency in transforming their own present.

They blame themselves for their mistakes, wish they had done things differently, and judge themselves for opportunities they missed. instead of focusing their energy on the things they could do today to meet their goals and move forward with their purposes.

7. They find obstacles instead of solutions

In addition, Another trait of negative people is finding obstacles instead of looking for solutions.. Her favorite word is usually “but” and it is generally accompanied by a negative and pessimistic view of the situation being discussed.

Thus, These types of people get stuck in a spiral of failure.without putting their creativity and ingenuity into play to find ways to overcome problems.

8. They don’t take risks

Added to the above, They are people who focus on their weaknesses and, not having enough self-confidence, do not dare to take risks and leave their comfort zone.

Any risk is perceived as an opportunity to fail, so they prefer to avoid any situation that involves taking risks and being at the mercy of uncertainty and expectation.

9. Comparing yourself and being hostile to others

Living based on comparisons with others is a very negative attitude. Implies lack of autonomy and own judgment.

Through comparison, what one does is evaluated and judged based on what others do. An unfair and frustrating experience that only leads to a constant confrontational stance.

The worst thing is that many of these comparisons only seek to despise others as a means to exalt one’s own.. In other words, misfortunes that occur to others become a source of self-satisfaction, because they place others in a state of lack or error and oneself in a superior and privileged position.

There are also reverse comparisons. When we believe we are “superior” than other people in certain aspects we feel full of pride. Definitely, Comparison can be a very destructive strategy, so we must be careful and be happy and satisfied with what we have.

As we see, Maintaining a negative position regarding reality only leads to a state of constant dissatisfaction that prevents progress and having positive relationships. A vicious circle that leads nowhere.

If you detect these negative attitudes in yourself, do not hesitate to work to change them. Having a negative approach doesn’t make you gain anything, but it does make you lose yourself.

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