13 steps to overcome insecurity in your relationship

Insecurity in relationships only leads to the abandonment of empathy and active listening. It is important to detect and solve it. If you would like to know how to do it, keep reading!

Insecurity in the couple is common. When starting a romantic relationship it is easy to feel emotionally vulnerable, especially if you have had an experience that ended with emotional wounds and in which you felt disappointed.

Questions like “Are they going to reject me again?” or “Will I do something that bothers you?” They are common when you have little experience or the experiences you have had have been negative.

These insecurities can come in many forms and, if left untreated, can lead to relationship problems. In this article, we will teach you how to overcome insecurity in your relationship.

Lack of security in relationships: seeing problems where there are none

In general, when we feel insecurity in our relationship or in various situations, we are creating additional complications. It’s like the whiting that bites its tail, because The insecurity will become greater and greater and the imagination will end up overflowing the situation. To identify it, have the following warning signs in love:

Control over the couple’s life. Need for constant approval or reassurance. Monitoring the other person to know where they are. Verifying everything they say. Lack of trust and irrational fear of being abandoned. Checking social networks or the partner’s mobile phone. another without consent. Limiting the couple’s freedom. Constant arguments for trivial reasons. Giving in to the partner’s will and needs. Misinterpreting what the other person says and taking everything personally. Disgust at not being with the partner’s company. .

Insecurity makes us look for signs that things are going wrong, identifying the most insignificant or trivial details as such. And of course, We usually find what we are looking for, even if it doesn’t really exist.

Tips to overcome partner insecurity

What can you do to stop insecurity from ruling your life?And to have a relationship without ruining it for unfounded reasons? We see it below.

1. Identify its origin

The first step to stop being insecure in a relationship is to identify the causes of insecurity. This requires a lot of introspection, reflection and analysis. Its origin may be in past experiences that were not processed successfully or in current dynamics of the relationship.

This step is essential because, if it is not clear what is triggering insecurity, the efforts aimed at overcoming it will be fruitless, since its real causes are not being dealt with. Even treating it without a clear idea of its origin could make it worse.

2. Don’t let your imagination confuse reality

self-punishment and Negative memories from the past can play tricks on you. Frequently reenacting something that happened or could happen can confuse you with what is happening. The effort to imagine what would happen if it happened again or if things were this or that way is what confuses you.

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The next time you feel insecure, Ask yourself if something really happened or if you just imagined it., if they are your speculations. You have to be able to distinguish it and filter your current relationship against your previous experiences and social and cultural stereotypes.

3. Don’t fall into the trap of certainty

Relationships are not as they should be in each person’s opinion.. Falling into the trap of certainty, that things should be this way, increases insecurity in the couple when you see that something is wrong.

When things are not the way you think they should be, you lose control because you are not able to filter what you see, so you let your imagination wander freely.

You have to relax in the face of uncertainty, try not to control everything and give yourself the opportunity to get to know the other and to get to know yourself in a new relationship. Stop imagining and defining, clinging to an imagined life, and truly live, enjoy.

4. Give your partner room to breathe

The foundations of a relationship are shared. Therefore, you do not have the right to demand that the other person, with the sole purpose of feeling safe, be the way you want and live the relationship with your unilaterally imposed rules.

Accept and allow your partner to have their own space and time to be alone. This is essential for your well-being. Also try to motivate her to pursue her interests and realize her dreams. hobbies. Respect her boundaries, trust her, and do things alone so your partner has a moment to herself.

5. Stop “mind reading”

This is a problem that arises in many personal relationships, and not just as a couple. You think you know what the other person thinks and you act accordingly.. But since you don’t bother to ask him or, if you do, you act threatening, you act as if it were true. Once again, you are imagining.

To stop being insecure in a relationship and avoid “mind reading,” actively listen to what your partner wants to say. Don’t assume what they believe or feel, instead, create a space to speak respectfully. Ask open questions, so you can get to know her in depth. Show interest in what he is saying and do not anticipate his words.

6. Stop comparing with other relationships (your own and others)

All this insecurity in the relationship that you feel is due to previous experiences and stereotypical ideas based on what things are supposed to be. But you have to free yourself from all those ties and start giving your new relationship the opportunity to grow freely. If you don’t leave your past behind, you will have no future.

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In order to stop being insecure in a relationship, focus on the present moment and the unique qualities of your relationship. Accept that each relationship has its own dynamics, challenges, weaknesses and strengths. Instead of comparing your partner to standards from your past or other romantic relationships, focus on what unites you and the valuable things you have together.

7. Cultivate your self-love

As you can imagine, abandoning insecurity is a path that begins with you. Therefore, before trying to solve what is happening in your partner, do introspection (or therapy) to find an internal balance. Learn to love yourself and accept your vulnerabilities.

To achieve this and stop being insecure in a relationship, cultivate self-compassion, which is an important part of self-love that can improve your self-esteem and self-efficacy. This benefits intimate relationships and can make you feel more secure, since insecurity and low self-esteem are sometimes related. Do activities that foster a positive relationship with you.

8. Show your feelings

In the end, insecurity in a relationship cannot be overcome unless it is confronted, and the best way is to let it out. This means being brave to share what you feel, to communicate those thoughts and concerns that reveal your vulnerabilities, fears, joys and sadness.

Don’t be afraid to laugh or cry, allow yourself to be fragile with your partner and express what things make you feel that way. Pay attention to his reaction and open up little by little. At the same time, it allows her to express her feelings. This type of vulnerability exchange will strengthen your bond and make you feel safer as a result.

9. Practice conversation with yourself

It can be in front of a mirror, talking to yourself or in your head. The point is to practice the conversation you are going to have with the other person before it happens, because That way you will be able to take a first look at your thoughts and emotions and rehearse the best way to express them.

Be careful, it is not about guessing how the conversation is going to go, but rather doing an exercise in introspection.

To try this technique, first find a quiet, private place where you can talk out loud. Next, stand in front of a mirror or sit in a comfortable chair. Identify the problematic situation or the topic you want to talk about. Imagine your partner in front of you and express your emotions and ideas. The goal is for you to be able to organize your thoughts and what you want to say to them.

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10. Participate in activities that strengthen your self-confidence

An effective way to overcome relationship insecurity is by carrying out activities that increase self-confidence. By doing so, you can increase your sense of self-worth, which will have a positive impact on your self-confidence.

Choose a hobby that you like and dedicate yourself to it frequently during the week. Think about something you would like to do alone or an activity where you can display your skills. The key is to commit yourself and see how doing something you are passionate about can improve your self-confidence.

11. Promote your emotional independence

Sometimes, insecurity in a partner comes from excessive emotional dependence on them. When the other person is not present or meeting your needs, you feel insecure.

Work on your independence, appreciate your virtues, cultivate your self-esteem. Try to develop your personal interests, do things alone and work on a project that gives meaning to your life. Nurture your other ties: family and social.

12. Seek support from friends and family

Talking with friends or family can give you a different perspective on the situations you are experiencing with your partner. Social support of this type is an excellent emotional support that can calm your insecurities.

With the aim of overcoming partner insecurity and having a good support network, Make sure you surround yourself with trusted friends, with whom you feel comfortable, heard and valued. Share what you feel and your insecurity with complete candor. Listen to their views and advice. Be grateful for the help they have given you.

13. Seek professional help

One of the best ways to stop being insecure in a relationship is to receive therapeutic support. Sometimes individual efforts do not give good results, therefore, it is necessary to seek personal or couples counseling. Psychotherapists can offer you resources and strategies to effectively deal with your insecurity in your relationship.

Insecurity in the couple affects the bonds

Overcoming partner insecurity is necessary for the well-being of the relationship. Distrust and not being completely sure of the bond you have complicates everyday interactions with the other person. Consequently, doubts grow, jealousy appears, the need for company becomes irresistible, etc.

Consequently, when relationships are experienced with insecurity, it is essential to detect the causes of this problem and intervene so that it does not deteriorate the relationship. Living as a couple should be, above all, an experience where both feel safe and confident.