Husband or children? How to deal with both your need for attention

After the first child is born, none relationship it’s the same. This discussion, very common a few years ago, seems to be lagging behind as a woman’s life (financial and emotional) becomes more independent of her husband.

In the society in which our grandmothers and even our mothers lived, it was natural that the subject came up whenever marriage and its relationship with the “children” factor was mentioned. This is because, a scientifically proven fact, men in general are jealous of their children and of the relationship of intimacy and unconditional affection that develops between them and their mother.

If this view seems a bit sexist to most people in view of recent female achievements in society, it should be noted that knowing divide attention between children and husband it may be the missing detail to not detonate your relationship.

A survey carried out by a dating site shows that half of the experts on the subject agree with the premise that, when making decisions, a woman should prioritize her husband, not her children. One of them states: “the relationship between husband and wife is a lifetime commitment, just like the relationship between parents and children.

However, the parent’s responsibility is to raise the child and teach him moral values ​​and responsibilities so that the child can take care of himself when he becomes an adult.

Therefore, the relationship between husband and wife takes priority over the relationship between parents and children, as long as the children are well taken care of”.

misplaced? Not so much, if we think that, in fact, children are raised with a view to their survival in society and, inevitably, they will end up leaving their parents’ house sooner or later. Cultivating the relationship between husband and wife, superimposing it on the relationship between parents and children, is, therefore, a way of prioritizing a possible companionship in the future, when the children are already taking care of their own lives.

But how to achieve this goal without neglecting the care and, above all, the love that children demand? The answer is simple: dividing tasks. It is up to the mother to allow the father to actively participate in the education of the children, leaving aside maternal pride. It is not easy, but it is rewarding: as the woman abstains from the role of sole and sovereign guardian of the children, the couple has the opportunity to discuss fundamental issues concerning them – this closeness ends up making the relationship more intimate and in tune.

The woman who knows how to balance the attention she gives to her children and her husband in an equal way is winning a healthier marriage.