How to work with a dominant person without violating your rights

Working with a dominant person does not have the same implications as having a friend or partner with the same inclination. What does happen in both areas is that those who, due to their personality traits, complement each other tend to work well. Thus, the dominant usually feels good in relationships in which the other is more submissive, and vice versa.

Some people, due to their interest in controlling the environment, usually carry out the final organization and “release” of the service or product. Being dominant is not a negative trait, but rather a general tendency to behave in a certain way. At the group level, this trait will be good or bad to the extent that it contributes to the evolution of the group.

What scares us in social relationships can be of great help to us at work. as motivation. There are those who feel good about being supervised and are comfortable with the fact that their work is controlled. Therefore, working with a dominant person, and being able to do it well, will depend on your character at work and, of course, on the limits that that person respects.

Very different profiles can be complementary

Working with a dominant person is possible and in some cases even comfortable, depending on how you work and the boundaries you establish.

We tend to dominate or submit to others, which determines (or not) our integration within a group. This type of social behavior is closely linked to the amygdala, the part of the brain that governs our reaction to fear or threats.

We can appear more submissive or dominant depending on the context. A person who cannot tolerate dominant attitudes in procedures that he controls may willingly accept them in those that he does not.

It is also possible to be dominant or submissive at different levels. For example, a person can adapt depending on who they are dealing with. Thus, you may become more dominant when faced with a more submissive personality or more submissive with those who are more dominant.

After all, Relationships of domination and submission shape the structure of social groups, especially within companies. They reveal primitive human behavior inherited from our ancestors, which is governed by the reptilian brain, which controls social positioning in a group and is responsible for social fear.

Relationships between submissive and dominant personalities

According to studies in ethology, social psychology, and neuropsychology, including Stanley Milgram’s (1963) famous study on submission to authority, Relationships between dominant and submissive personalities help preserve the social structure of a group.

A social group in which everyone has a defined position (more or less dominant or submissive) works better than a group in which everyone claims the position of leader or follower.

For example, if all members of a company’s team claimed a leadership position, each would present their point of view as the most relevant. This situation would lead to aggressiveness from other team members and compromise the project. Similarly, if everyone took a submissive stance, who would make a decision? Such a high level of group inertia would paralyze the project.

How to detect a dominant person

Dominant behavior is manifested in both verbal (speech), paraverbal (voice intonation) and non-verbal (body language and facial expression) communication.

A dominant person at work often speaks confidently and assertively and tends to give orders and instructions. Her voice conveys security and she may not hesitate to raise it if this helps her impose her criteria. Their physical posture and body language are also very dominant and can project the idea that the space belongs to them.

Those who have a dominant personality tend to impose their point of view, the one they consider most relevant, over the others. Because of this, they have trouble handling criticism.

The key: knowing how to manage risks and advantages

The first step in dealing with dominant personalities is to set boundaries in the relationship.

When a person with a dominant attitude meets someone with a more submissive character, the behavior of the latter reinforces the behavior of the former. And this becomes a vicious circle with some danger.

For it to be an asymmetrical but harmonious relationship at work, the dominant person must know where the limits are. Of course, the other person has to know how to highlight them at the same time.

The following strategies are helpful in interacting with dominant personalities:

Stay objective: It is important to be skillful when managing the emotional state produced by a dominant partner. By doing so, we will have greater control over communication, and, therefore, it will be more difficult for us to make mistakes.Avoid topics that are too informal: Dominant personalities tend to operate with urgency and appreciate efficiency. It is better to go directly to the work agenda and have informal or warmer conversations with other types of coworkers.Be assertive and firm: Assertiveness is the ability to defend ideas that we know will not be well received without offending others. If a dominant individual raises his voice, you can use the broken record technique – repeating his message objectively in a firm, neutral tone. Remind your boss of the rules and regulations. For example, “the laws regarding overtime provide that…”. Ask for everything in writing and ask anything sensitive by email, so it is recorded.Don’t justify or apologize: A person with a dominant character at work usually has outbursts and small attacks of anger. At times, you will feel like you are walking on eggshells with her. Thus, avoid apologizing or saying sorry at the slightest displeasure of this person. First, make sure it’s justified and then jump right into the hard facts with a brief explanation.

On the other hand, if you have struggled with asserting yourself and speaking up in the workplace, against overthinking and lack of confidence, you can learn from this dominant personality. You can take advantage of contact with her. She integrates the advantage of her style into your own and you will be surprised at the effectiveness of your work.

Dominance or submission are normal human behaviors that dictate interactions within social groups. However, when someone abuses her status or demonstrates very dominant behavior, it often erodes her relationships at work.

Having said all this, Assess whether this dominant attitude is being positive for the job and for you. Ask human resources for help if you think their attitude is negatively interfering with you. Remember that initiative is one thing, and unpleasant treatment and lack of respect are another.

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