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Is your relationship in crisis? We bring some ideas and reflections that can help you prevent this from sinking.
Problems in a relationship are very common. All relationships go through conflicts of some kind, and it is these that determine whether the bond is prolonged or ends up dissolving. Saving a relationship in crisis can be difficult, since it is only possible with the commitment of both parties. After all, It is impossible for a relationship to recover if only one party wants it to happen..
Before showing you some tips to save a relationship in crisis, keep in mind that You must learn to identify when it is appropriate to take a step back.. Making an exhaustive assessment of the pros and cons of continuing with him or her, at the end of stability, respect and the common life project, should be your starting point. Only then will they ensure that they do what is best for both of them.
7 tips to save a relationship in crisis
The first thing you should keep in mind is that there is no magic recipe to save a relationship in crisis. Each relationship is different, so each of them has its roadmap to avoid shipwreck. It is true that we can establish certain common patterns that mediate the deterioration and conflicts that arise halfway.
We leave you with some ideas that may be very useful to you.
1. Identify what the real problem is
As experts point out, the couple’s agreement regarding the problems underlying the relationship predicts commitment and positive results from couples therapy. When both parties agree with the reasons that have led their relationship to a state of crisis, they can establish goals and change processes that lead to a strengthening of the bond.
The above is impossible when the causes and reasons for the conflict differ between both parties. Although there must be mutual agreement, the truth is that the reflection must begin in private. That is to say, meditate for yourself on what are the obstacles, problems, vicissitudes and causes that have led to your relationship being in crisis. Then, talk to your partner and try to objectively establish the causes of this.
A moment of reflection alone about the relationship, what has happened and what is desired is essential.
2. Assume your share of responsibility
Two things often happen in couple conflicts: one chooses to reject that one’s own actions are part of the problem (which results in accusing the other) or to completely assume that oneself is the only one responsible for the conflict. Both attitudes are equally erroneous, since the only valid option is to assume the share of responsibility that each person has. No more no less.
This requires many things: maturity, commitment to the relationship, objectivity, and introspection about what has been said or done in the past. If responsibility for certain actions is not assumed, if they are not recognized, then it is impossible that changes be applied in the present that will prevent the conflict from arising again in the future for the same reasons.
3. Put aside pathological jealousy
Not every conflict begins with jealousy, although many of them do. The evidence indicates that pathological jealousy is an indication of dissatisfactionand this can lead to crisis episodes.
It is pertinent to distinguish the nature of jealousy, since it is not always related to something bad. There is healthy jealousy, those that are a symptom of attachment and appreciation for the other.
Healthy jealousy has to do with concern for the relationship and is a natural consequence of attachment. Pathological jealousy does just the opposite: They destroy both the relationship itself and the individuals who are part of it. You cannot save a relationship in crisis without first considering whether it has reached this point due to jealousy taken to the extreme.
4. Establish autonomy in the relationship
Commitment in a relationship does not imply that everything you do revolves around it. Nor should interpersonal relationships with others or with oneself be neglected. Experts have found that Individuality is very important for couple satisfaction. This happens due to many things, among them we highlight:
Have your own opinions and ideas.Share time with friends, family and colleagues.Do things alone.Disagree within the relationship (you cannot and do not have to agree on everything).Have time and space away from the relationship.
Certainly, a relationship is a bond between at least two people, without this implying that the character of individuality is lost. When this happens, it is most likely that over time it will lead to frustration, anguish, boredom and an overwhelming need to escape from it. Create a space and channels to share with yourself and those around you.
5. Practice forgiveness
Another tip to save a relationship in crisis is to practice true forgiveness. Certainly, forgiveness is distributed today without true intention; something that inevitably leads to resentment, resentment and animosity or enmity. As experts point out, forgiveness should be aimed at the well-being of the other person above one’s own.
You should also practice self-forgiveness, this in relation to things that have been said or done in the past that have affected the relationship. Forgiveness takes time, so it’s something you should start cultivating early in your journey to saving a relationship in crisis. Requires empathy, otherness or consideration and understanding.
6. Be open and sincere
Another of the core practices to save a worn-out relationship is to be completely open and sincere with respect to the other and the relationship itself. It is impossible to consolidate a solid and stable relationship on the basis of lies..
Be honest about your intentions in the relationship, your future projections, your desires, the changes you want to make and what you don’t like.
Sincerity along with commitment are the most important foundations of a relationship.
7. Seek professional help
You can apply the previous steps by yourself by talking to your partner. However, on many occasions A professional therapist can speed up the process and find blind spots that deteriorate the relationship. and that neither of you have thought about until now. Don’t be afraid to seek help of this type, especially if you are convinced that you want to build a life project with your partner.
We reiterate that each relationship is different and that its members must consider whether or not it is worth betting on the relationship. Each case is particular, since it is not the same to save a relationship in crisis due to episodes of infidelity, lack of communication, violence or total indifference. The truth is that, in most cases, there is salvation.
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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
Biesen, JN, & Doss, BD Couples’ agreement on presenting problems predicts engagement and outcomes in problem-focused couple therapy. Journal of Family Psychology. 2018; 27(4): 658.Dandurand, C., & Lafontaine, MF Jealousy and couple satisfaction: A romantic attachment perspective. Marriage & Family Review. 2014; 50(2): 154-173.Ferreira, LC, Narciso, I., Novo, RF, & Pereira, CR Predicting couple satisfaction: The role of differentiation of self, sexual desire and intimacy in heterosexual individuals. Sexual and Relationship Therapy. 2014; 29(4): 390-404.Worthington Jr, EL, Brown, EM, & McConnell, JM Forgiveness in committed couples: Its synergy with humility, justice, and reconciliation. Religions. 2018; 10(1): 13.
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