A cold couple: how does the absence of signs of affection affect us?

Having a cold partner takes a lot away from a relationship. Shows of affection are not only beautiful, but also necessary to maintain a healthy bond. The love that is felt, but is not manifested, is as if it did not exist.. Therefore, the lack of expressions of affection is often experienced as heartbreak.

The most common thing is for a cold partner to justify their attitude with statements such as “it’s my way of being” or “I’m not romantic.”. It is also common to hear them say that the important thing is to feel love and not so much to find ways or channels to reaffirm it at every moment. These and other similar statements only seek to normalize a lack.

Every human being needs signs of affection, especially from their partner.. The reason for the bond itself is affection, which is why the aridity of love turns out to be a contradiction. This situation not only deteriorates the relationship, but can also have very profound effects. We will soon see the negative consequences of having a cold partner.

When the cold is the protagonist in a relationship, there is less satisfaction and emotional intimacy.

The cold couple and emotional deprivation

The topic of a cold partner was addressed by professors Hesse and Mikkelson, from the Universities of Oregon and Whitworth respectively, in a study carried out in 2022. This research concluded that receiving signs of affection from a partner is essential to maintaining a good relationship. mental health.

The study considered the sentimental situation of 401 individuals, whose average age was 31 years. They found that Those who have a cold partner felt less satisfied and experienced less emotional closeness with the other person.

Likewise, the affected participants indicated that they frequently went through periods of uncertainty regarding the future of the relationship. In general, they believed that the bond was not going to last and had pessimistic expectations about tomorrow.. This caused them worry, which often led to stress. In other words, the couple was not a source of well-being for them, but rather a source of concern.

Other effects of cold

The effects of having a cold partner are not only psychological. Dr. Kory Floyd also conducted research on the relationship between signs of affection and physical well-being. The results of his study indicated that those who reported fewer displays of affection from their partner also had more health problems.

In particular, Floyd indicated that these people were likely to feel all types of physical pain with greater intensity. It was not uncommon for them to report problems such as frequent migraines or significant muscle pain, caused by routine actions.

In addition, These people, in general, had more problems getting adequate rest. Several had sleep disorders, especially insomnia. Many felt that they did not have a restful sleep and therefore showed more signs of fatigue in their daily lives.

The researcher pointed out that: “the theory of affection exchange suggests that depriving a person of love can cause a deficit in well-being, and prevent optimal functioning. It is also plausible that experiences of physical pain or poor sleep quality may inhibit the exchange of affection with others.

Cold people often hurt their partner, sometimes without realizing it.

Coldness and pain go hand in hand

The natural thing for someone who is healthy is that they can express affection to the people they love, without any qualms.. This not only provides emotional nourishment to the person who receives this affection, but it is also very positive for the person who offers it. It liberates and gives a feeling of satisfaction and joy.

Coldness is not a way of being, but is often an expressive limitation. If you don’t love someone, you don’t have to pretend that you do, but if you love someone else, you absolutely need to let them know. You don’t have to talk to him like a baby, or call him “my bear” or “my mouse,” but it is healthy to explicitly tell him that you love him and praise the positive things that the other person has.

The above is valid if you want your relationship to be strong and healthy. Also if you really love that person. As we have already seen, A cold partner not only causes a void, but also causes harm. It is not the other person who must adapt to your way of being, but you who must explore the causes of this inhibition and overcome them. You will be the first beneficiary.

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