I have problems with everyone, am I the problem?

We notice it. There are days when we wake up with a bad mood, with a changed foot or a bad mood.. It is a day when there will be problems. It is a kind of annoying hum that there is no way to shake no matter how much we try to slap around us, like when we were little and blindfolded we tried to hit the piñata. The bad thing is that we do not always warn that we are going with the club loaded and the others, who approach confidently, can take a good hit.

Therefore, it is essential that we incorporate mental tools into our menagerie so that these days – of being angry with the world – we do not know how to stop in time. Contrary to what we usually do, It is not good to wait for what is outside to change and show us a smile that we can see.. It is much better to retreat for a moment, go to a place where we cannot “attack” anyone and relax.

Other times, we wake up with a normal mood, not necessarily euphoric, and yet we do not stop chaining discussion after discussion.. What we see in a mess is in a mess and what we think is bad, no one would think of saying that it is not. In these cases, whose responsibility is it? What can be done to change this problem? Is getting along badly with everyone our fault or theirs?

Are problems acquired or sought?

Of course we will all say “I don’t look for conflicts… they find me.” But Perhaps our attitude or way of thinking is acting as “bait” for problems. As if it were a great magnet that attracts them towards us.

On many occasions, unconsciously, our way of acting results in problems here and there. The lack of self-criticism leads us to think that the world is against us. The inability to analyze our behavior disables us from understanding the reason for all the conflicts that surround us. When nothing seems right to us, it is time to start looking inward and think about what responsibility falls on us in all the conflicts that surround us.

The same thing happens with relationships. If we do not usually maintain a friendship, a relationship or a good relationship with co-workers, we may be responsible. When these situations are repeated quite often we can no longer blame the other, nor the circumstances, nor our poor choice to surround ourselves with certain types of people.

So it’s better start questioning ourselves and understanding what we do to constantly end up the same way. Remember that usually the same actions lead to the same results. If there is something you don’t want, you must act differently to change it.

Problems repeat over and over again

Since we are talking about ready-made phrases, we could indicate one that fits perfectly with this problem: “Men tend to trip over the same stone twice… and even get attached to it.” If we get along badly with a handful of people it can be normal and even understandable (because we can’t be friends with everyone). But, if we fight with the neighbor, with the parents, with the boss, with the supermarket salesman, with the office colleague, with the childhood friend and with the bus driver… well then, we are in a problem. .

The good news is that this behavior of having ongoing problems, once identified, can be modified and improved. To do this, it is vital to take responsibility for our mistakes. It is very common to say that the problem lies with the other person, that it is the world’s fault… that one is free of all charges.

“Everyone has turned against me” It is a very common phrase. Could it be that you have set yourself against others? Of course it is not on purpose or with the intention of harming other people, but the truth is that with our actions we hurt and alienate those we love (and strangers too).

Take responsibility for problems

The first step to stop blaming the world, karma or the universe for our problems is to take charge of them. If you get nervous when driving because your partner is in the passenger seat, the problem is yours and not his. If you have an argument due to a misunderstanding with your office colleague, the fault is yours for not asking in time, not the colleague who tried to explain the situation.

We could give thousands of examples like these, but What is important is the reason why we fight with others or push them away from us. Because of our attitude! Your way of acting defines you and can help or harm you in human relationships.

How about starting with some objective introspection to find where you have failed? You don’t need to whip yourself on the back or walk around like a lost soul with your clothes in tatters. Simply It’s about understanding what words, actions or emotions lead you to have problems with others.

Perhaps it is a lack of self-esteem, fear of accepting one’s own feelings, fear of losing control of situations, being angry with oneself, etc. The options are varied and as many as there are beings on this planet.

If you know someone in this situation or are in this situation yourself, Your task now is to start thinking about how the other person feels when you react that way.. Think that being angry with the world only increases the chances that it will treat you in the same way and that together, you and your vision of the world, you will enter a circle that is not good for you or those around you.

a little exercise

When we discover ourselves living a life full of problems and conflicts with that and those around us, it is time to stop and think. For example, if we have a problem with someone, instead of getting angry and reacting automatically, we are going to analyze the situation. We can ask ourselves questions like: Why is what I say more valid than what he says? Where does my argument or thought come from to make it better? We will realize that in the end, everything is points of view and not absolute truths.

The same thing happens when we encounter situations that we consider are against us. If we think coldly, we will realize that any setback can happen to anyone. “Why me?”, many ask. This question comes from an egocentric vision of the world and life. He “Why me” we could change it to “It has happened to me as it could have happened to someone else”.

In the end, we will discover that It all depends on our way of seeing the circumstances around us..

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