How To Stop Suffering For Love |

The end of a relationship can trigger almost unbearable pain, which often lasts for a long time. But how to stop suffering for love and open yourself up to new possibilities of living and loving?

This is the question we want to answer in this text. In the next paragraphs, we are going to talk about pain and suffering, but also about how to change our frequency to tune in to positive and beneficial feelings.

The “secret” of how to stop suffering for love

In fact, there is no secret, each one does it the best way they can and are capable of at the moment. Perhaps this form is not good or fast enough for expectations. But that doesn’t mean it’s not helping in the process of transforming that suffering into something healthier and more positive.

A bad situation, fact or event in the present or past causes pain. For example, the loss or separation of someone we love generates a momentary and punctual pain that, being so strong that it becomes physical, is actually felt in the body.

However, this pain needs to be located, cared for and treated (learn more here). That’s because, when not cared for, it keeps coming back until it’s noticed – and that causes suffering.

The difference between the two is that suffering is more persistent and continuous. It comes whenever we remember what happened. However, as much as suffering seems uncontrollable, infinite and out of our reach, it is not. Yes, we have the power to modify it.

We can stop nurturing it by changing our tendency to relive painful moments, trying to think about them less often or for less time. Therefore, the “secret”, or rather, the way to stop suffering for love is not to feed the pain and, consequently, the suffering.

Ok, but how does this work in practice?

Stop nurturing suffering is the first step to being less harmful to ourselves and discovering how to stop suffering for love. Learning to deal with negative emotions is an arduous process, but extremely necessary for a happier and healthier life.

Therefore, it is worth making an effort to overcome obstacles and use the experience to grow as a person. To help with this process, we have a very practical and easy tip:

Make a list of good, light, fun, special moments and, mainly, not related to what makes you suffer. Keep this list handy (or in your head) to use at any time. Relive these moments in memory whenever necessary or possible, especially when you notice that harmful thoughts, memories or feelings are present.

This is a strategy that can help us be less harmful to ourselves. By focusing on reliving positive moments, we are connecting and empowering a more positive frequency for ourselves.

But pay attention to the verb “to connect”. The connection with the frequency does not happen in a magic pass! Stopping falling is not the same as already knowing how to deal with the feelings that put you in that place of suffering.

Remembering positive moments is a beginning of change. Be persistent, because with effort and dedication, we can achieve a happier and safer future. Here you can know the 3Rs that block your life

Beware of automatic mode

The loss, separation or non-reciprocity can trigger an automatic reaction that shows how we are thinking. For example: “I was/am being rejected, exchanged, betrayed, forgotten, disregarded” or, even, “I no longer serve, I am not enough”, etc.

These are thought patterns that trigger reactions to reactivate already stored emotions. Then comes the fear: “How will I be without this relationship, without this person, without this status, situation, etc?” This is the resistance of the old trying to survive.

It’s a fight, after all, survival – even if it’s in one way or point of view – is a mode of attack, defense or flight. At this level we look for culprits, dangers and enemies. But is this really necessary?

The automatic way of life makes us learn to survive. That’s why we are able to overcome obstacles. Even when everything seems to be against us, we keep standing and fighting for what we believe in.

But, more than overcoming it with determination, struggle and willpower, if we continue to cling to the past, it is still suffering. And so, the answer to the question “how to stop suffering for love?” it gets even further away.

On automatic, we keep fighting, giving and receiving splinters and thorns. However, this mode of survival makes us automatons, robots, without life and choice. And to be human is to have feelings, emotions and a conscience.

We live in a world where everything is automatic – work, studies, relationships. However, this way of living takes us away from full happiness. We need to learn to turn off automatic mode to live with more awareness and quality of life.

It’s not easy, but it’s posssible

Whenever we choose to stop nurturing pain and start nurturing other healthy thoughts and feelings, we will be moving away from suffering and, consequently, understanding how to stop suffering for love. It’s not easy, but yes, possible.

The indicator of limit or acceptance are feelings. They indicate what attractive field we are in. If we are in discomfort and suffering, we are probably in the denser frequencies and wearing ourselves out.

Realizing what thoughts are behind the reaction is important for us to know which way to go. If we’re just reacting, it’s a sign that the automatic mode is activated. That is, we are not making a choice, we are just surviving.

And if that reaction is causing discomfort, it’s time to shift to a new frequency. Sometimes suffering is so much that it takes over our thoughts and leads us to crises.

When this happens, it’s time to seek help to get out of this loop of pain and suffering.

A therapist can help to realize these imbalances through traditional or holistic and vibrational techniques, such as:

Self-analysis is indispensable

You must have noticed that everything we’ve talked about so far about how to stop suffering for love involves a lot of self-analysis. Yes, she is indispensable in this whole process. Realizing the thoughts behind the reaction shows us what our limit is and/or why we are seeking acceptance.

If we are looking for acceptance, it is possible to ask: “Who do I seek to be to control and change the situation? It’s because?”. When we identify with the situation, it tends to stay the same. When we recognize that we are separate from it, we can act more constructively.

We can, for example, work on the being that we “believe” need. Asking these questions opens the perception to more possibilities, including that of stopping suffering for love. Question, realize and choose. Get out of automatic, get out of discomfort and get out of suffering.

Out of suffering there is life! A lighter, loving and safer life. What nourishes and sustains us to flourish is Love, especially the first and most important: self-love. This one also helps a lot with inner peace.

Finally, let go. Choose to stop suffering for love or attachment. Deliver what was for learning and improvement. Let go of old patterns that only cling to not die, but that are already dying. Surrender to the new! A new situation and a new me that can be lighter, more loving and without suffering.