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How to stop crying?

It will always be more important to release emotions rather than stop or repress crying. However, sometimes, we need to stop crying to control that situation and think about what is happening to us. We explain below how to achieve it.

Emotional crying is an instinctive behavior that favors the release of stress and the management of states such as sadness, grief, anger, anguish, an emotional breakup, etc. Few behaviors are more cathartic, but socially frowned upon at the same time.

He who cries is considered weak and emotionally unstable. Perhaps, for this reason, we often find ourselves in the need to stop, to stop that physiological reaction. It may also be the case that someone because of their personality is more inclined to cry over almost anything, including trivial and unimportant aspects. Therefore, It is legal that at some point we find ourselves in the situation of wanting to stop crying and not knowing how.

As the writer CS Lewis said, crying is fine in its own way as long as it lasts. However, there always comes a time when we must stop to decide what to do with what happens to us. Knowing what is behind this psychophysiological reaction is essential.

Why sometimes we can’t stop crying?

Sometimes we have times when we cry for everything and nothing. This emotional reaction has an origin, a trigger that is better to clarify and understand. We cannot choose to repress this mechanism, to focus on stopping crying like someone who puts a band-aid on without first healing the wound.

This physiological response can have multiple origins, states and even psychological disorders that should be clarified.

Existing reasons behind crying

On average, the causes that orchestrate these situations can be the following:

Anxiety sustained over timethat which gradually leads to helplessness, to the perception that we cannot do anything about what happens to us.Hormonal alterations. Conditions such as those associated with thyroid disorders can explain these changes in mood.Physical and mental exhaustion.Grief (loss of loved ones, emotional breakups, etc.). Mood and personality disorders. Stress.personality traitslike being excessively empathetic.

“When I want to cry, I don’t cry… and sometimes I cry without meaning to.”

-Ruben Dario-

3 basic techniques to stop crying

Water, proteins, glucose, salt… It is said that Tears have almost as many components as blood plasma. It is almost like the invisible “blood” of our emotions and that material that makes us human, although there are animals that also have the ability to express a form of crying, according to experts.

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Thus, and although we know that tears can be uncomfortable on many occasions, letting them flow does not hurt, it liberates. However, Sometimes we need to stop this behavior and that is why we wonder how to stop crying. It should be noted that there is little scientific literature on how to achieve this effectively.

Although, works such as those carried out by the University of Oxford and the University of Konstanz delve into this topic. They highlighted that There are two types of techniques: those focused on the underlying emotion and those focused on the act of crying as such.. In our case, we will delve into these two tools and some more. We analyze them.

Cognitive techniques: thoughts that manage emotions

For anyone wondering how to stop crying, it is appropriate to start with cognitive resources first. That is, focusing on our thoughts and resorting to mental strategies. To do this, it will be useful for us to ask ourselves the following questions:

Why do I want to stop crying? Sometimes, the surrounding social stigma causes us to choose to suppress crying, it is true. If this is our case, if we want to stifle crying so as not to attract attention, it is recommended that we tell ourselves the following –> “I refrain from crying now in front of others, but when I get home I will vent in freedom and privacy (I choose to postpone crying).”Do I have real and reasonable reasons to cry? Sometimes, it is good to delve deeper into those reasons why we cry to question ourselves and put them through the filter of reality.Can I reevaluate what I feel? It is true, sometimes the emotional intensity is so high that it is a little difficult to think clearly. However, it can be helpful for us to reevaluate thoughts, give them another, more adjusted focus –> “It is true that this issue worries me, but if I calm down I will be able to think clearly and make better decisions.”

Behavioral techniques: actions that divert emotion

For anyone wondering how to stop crying, the behavioral strategies that They are aimed at diverting emotion; since it is always appropriate to connect with what we feel to manage that situation at its root.

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Let’s look at those simpler resources that can be of great help:

A simple and effective behavioral resource that, according to Vingerhoets et to the. It is effective to stop crying. change the situation we are in. If we meet at work, let’s go out into the hallway for a coffee. If we are in a library, let’s go out and get some fresh air.Distraction is another appropriate response: picking up your cell phone to listen to music, using anti-stress dolls, calling someone or doing sports can help us. Deep or diaphragmatic breathing is very appropriate in situations of high emotional intensity. Going for a walk. Drinking water can also help reduce that knot in the throat that appears during crying. Taking paper and pencil to write or simply leaving your mind blank and letting your hand doodle or draw can be useful.

Emotional techniques to connect with the root of the problem

The previous techniques to stop crying can serve as a patch at a specific moment. However, they will make it easier to resolve the root problem or its trigger. We need to resort to psycho-emotional strategies to understand the reason for this reaction.manage the emotion that causes it and apply changes to improve our well-being.

It is good to understand that Tears are not our enemies, allowing them does not make us weak or fallible. In reality, they are the allies of emotional catharsis. However, when these stop, the real work comes: resolving what hurts. Therefore, it is advisable to resort to some emotional strategy such as the following:

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Validate what you feel: The sensations and emotions you experience are acceptable, do not repress them. Give them space and accept them.Now visualize those emotions from a distance, as if you were watching a movie screen.. ¿What’s behind them? Why are they there? What do they want to tell me? Don’t judge yourself at any time.Rationalize. What can you do to feel better? What change can you make in the short and long term to improve that situation?

To conclude, it is true that when we drown in a sea of ​​tears we want to stop that situation as soon as possible. However, only when we allow ourselves to navigate through our emotions do we learn to take the helm, regaining control.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Bylsma LM, Gračanin A, Vingerhoets AJJM. (2020). A clinical practice review of crying research. Psychotherapy, in press.Sharman L, Dingle G, Vanman E. Does crying help? Development of the beliefs about crying scale (BACS). Cogn Emot. 2019;33(4):722-736. doi:10.1080/02699931.2018.1488243Gračanin, A., Bylsma, LM, & Vingerhoets, AJJM, (2014, May). Is crying a self-soothing behavior? Frontiers in Psychology, 5502Sharman L, Dingle G, Vingerhoets A, Vanman E. Using crying to cope: physiological responses to stress following tears of sadness. Emotion. 2020;20(7):1279-1291. doi:10.1037/emo0000633Simons G, Bruder M, van der Lowe I, Parkinson. Why try (not) to cry: intra- and inter-personal motivations for crying regulation. Front Psychol. 2013;3:597. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2012.00597Vingerhoets, AJJM, Cornelius, RR, van Heck, GL, and Becht, MC (2000). Adult crying: a model and review of the literature. Rev. Gen. Psychol. 4, 354–377.

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