Meeting someone new after a breakup: negative emotions you didn’t expect to feel

We all know that grief is hard and that a breakup confronts us with negative and unpleasant emotions. Therefore, we wait for that moment of acceptance in which we have managed to heal and are ready to meet someone new.

We believe that this decision will bring us excitement, happiness and satisfaction again; Therefore, we may not be prepared for another series of feelings that this period of transition brings with it.

Starting a relationship is exciting, but also challenging, especially if you have been in a relationship for a while. Starting from scratch may not be so simple as you expected. This doesn’t mean you should be afraid or give up before even trying. Quite the opposite: knowing that you can experience difficult emotions will help you go through these experiences more calmly.

When meeting a person it is possible to experience negative emotions related to past relationships.

Meeting someone new can awaken negative emotions

Let’s put it in context: you ended a relationship and went through your grief. For a time, you were able to reflect, heal and integrate what happened and you already feel that it is time to move forward. You really want to be in a relationship again, to love and be loved again, to share your life with someone again.

For this reason, you agree to let your friends introduce you to new people, you accept the date with that friend from the gym or you decide to use online dating applications. Either way, you look forward to reconnecting with someone.

Now, although it doesn’t have to happen, many of the following emotions are likely to appear in the process:

Insecurity and uncertainty

When we are in a relationship, we generally know that the other person likes us, loves us, and wants to be with us; and this gives us a pleasant peace of mind. On the other hand, when meeting someone new we do not have this certainty, We don’t know what the other person is like, what they like or what they expect from us..

We may feel like we have to fake it or put on our best face all the time in order to earn your favor. Even we can feel the insecurity of becoming rejected or be victims of ghostingan increasingly common practice.

Dealing with uncertainty can be exciting for some people, but complicated and uncomfortable for others. If you are part of the second category, be patient and try to let go of your need for control, let yourself be surprised.

Dissatisfaction and frustration

Excessive optimism and poorly adjusted expectations can also play tricks on you.. And if you expect to meet the ideal person on the first day, connect instantly and for everything to be fluid and perfect, this probably won’t happen.

It’s natural to have this desire, but it’s important to be aware that it may not happen the first time. Maybe you can meet people who, although they may not end up starting a relationship with you, can give you experiences and enrich you. Having an open mind and being flexible will help you reduce dissatisfaction and the frustration that those encounters do not fit your ideal.

Sadness

This is perhaps the negative emotion we least expect to experience when meeting someone new with a romantic interest. And, although comparisons are odious, It is very common that we tend to compare new people with our ex-partnerespecially if we have not fully healed.

We can remember the complicity we already had with each other, how comfortable they made us feel or the shared inside jokes that do not yet exist in this new bond. By comparing, we may miss what we had and feel the loss more strongly. and the absence.

For this reason, it is important to remember that this degree of intimacy is built, and we have to give ourselves time. When you feel this way, keep in mind that perhaps you don’t miss your ex-partner, but rather how you felt with them, and that this can be achieved with new people if you both accept the adventure of building together.

Fear

Finally, it is possible that unexpected fears arise when meeting someone new after a breakup. Fear of never connecting with anyone on a deep level again, of never falling in love again. But also fear that the relationship will not turn out well, of suffering againto be deceived or abandoned again.

A bad romantic experience can leave us with a trace of pain that is an obstacle to getting emotionally involved again. For this reason, if you feel that this is the case for you, you may need to first address past hurts in order to trust again.

The fear of suffering again can be an obstacle to a new relationship.

Meeting someone new requires flexibility and patience

In short, the best way to avoid these unpleasant emotions when meeting someone new is be flexible and take the process slowly. You don’t want to rush or force situations just for the sake of being in a relationship again.

Allow yourself to meet people and make yourself known, enjoy the journey and the experiences without expectations and, above all, understand that these sensations are natural. Give yourself time to love again.

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