How to detect an abusive relationship

Experts explain that in order to determine whether or not you are in an unhealthy relationship, you need to analyze your feelings, whether or not you are in contact with your partner. You need to be as objective as possible, because otherwise you are deceiving yourself, and the other person as well.

If in recent times you have felt criticized, tense, sad, anguished, fearful, rejected, ignored, useless, unimportant, without control of your life, isolated, guilty of what happens, forced to appear happy to make others happy , that you put aside your tastes and interests to please or avoid a fight, it is because your relationship is not going well at all.

It is true that some of all this can happen at a certain time in your relationship, but the problem lies when it is the rule and not the exception. If you feel any of these ways two or three times a week or for months, you need to start taking a deep look at your relationship and what it does to you. Acting as soon as possible can lead to good results. If you sit idly by, waiting for the answer to come down from the sky, everything can end very badly.

It is not that you want to spread terror nor that there has to be a tragic outcome, but it is good that you stop denying the problems, to avoid the pain that a separation can cause you. Many people make that mistake, “getting used to” an unhealthy relationship, clinging to a memory of a good attitude on the part of the other. Thus, the situation will never be solved, otherwise it will get worse.

If your partner frequently ridicules you in front of your friends or family, if he criticizes or makes fun of you for everything you do, if he insults you or says hurtful words to you, if he manipulates you with threats, lies, with his silence or with phrases unfinished, if he never recognizes what your qualities are, if he uses body or facial expressions to scare you, if he objects to you seeing your loved ones, if he doesn’t allow you to do what you like, if he uses displays of affection after something bad, You are facing a situation of abuse and it is vital that you put a stop to it, if you do not want to regret it in the future.
It is proven that abuses increase if nothing is done about it. It doesn’t mean that your partner is a bad person, a murderer or an ogre, but maybe he doesn’t realize what he says or what it does to you. No matter how many times he makes thousands of promises to you that he will change it and he goes back to the same thing “because you made me nervous”, “because you don’t listen to me”, “because I had too much to drink”, keep in mind that you could end up be responsible if things go from gray to black. This is not “lessening” the abuser’s guilt, but you should prevent it from becoming worse.

Cutting off an unhealthy relationship in time is one of the most difficult things that can happen to us, because there is a very close relationship with the other person. And if we add manipulation to that, it is even worse. The abuser or violent person may even enjoy his behavior, which is why it is very difficult for him to change it. He will always try to justify what he does, since he is convinced that it is correct or that the other person “asked for it.”

Emotional abuse: a scourge of society

There are more cases of domestic violence than is thought or reported in the media. And it is not always about physical abuse such as beatings. Emotional abuse is the most dangerous because it penetrates deeper than a slap or a closed fist blow. Maybe you know people who are going through this situation and you don’t know it, because it is not as “demonstrable” as them showing up with a bruise on their eye. Emotional abuse greatly damages a person and in many cases that wound can be permanent. That is why it is said to be more dangerous than a physical blow.

Fights and arguments are not always synonymous with violence. There are no couples who never argue and if that happens, you have to worry, because it is impossible to agree 100% of the time. Regarding Emotional violence goes beyond an argument over expenses, finances or children. It is about something deeper, that reaches the furthest part of the heart and settles there.

The thing is that the person who receives this violence will change his attitude, his lifestyle, his customs, everything to please his partner. On the opposite side of the street we have someone who frightens, nullifies, insults, humiliates, etc. Detecting emotional abuse is difficult, but there are some clear signssuch as: low self-esteem, depression, constant anxiety for no apparent reason, isolation from close people, feelings of shame, self-hatred, fear, insecurity, guilt, passive attitude or extreme complacency, denial of the problem, not accepting help from a professional, lying, resorting to an addiction, etc.

Remember that recognizing abuse is the first step to stopping it. Don’t let more time pass, seek help, don’t accept blame from others, don’t take responsibility for other people’s mistakes, don’t allow yourself to be manipulated and don’t fall into “emotional blackmail.”