Wanting to say so much and knowing that it is better not to say anything

Except for love, no topic has been written about as much as words, because words and silence always seek a balance. A Chinese proverb says “Do not open your lips if you are not sure that what you are going to say improves the silence.”.

It has happened to almost all of us that we know the precise moment when a conversation should end and yet we continue, and in the end, everything ends badly. We want to say too many things without thinking about the consequenceswithout being aware that sometimes it is better to remain silent.

If before speaking we kept in mind that When we speak and make judgments and opinions we reveal the deepest part of our personality. and we judge ourselves, we probably wouldn’t allow our tongue to go faster than our thoughts.

So something I used to say Paul Watzlawick, psychologist and one of the authors of the Theory of Human Communication and Radical Constructivism, is that to express yourself is to shape the world.. To do it wrong is to promote our suffering.

say too much

Among friends, among family members and among people we love, it is common that forms are not taken care of. by speaking and letting out what we think. For this reason, although it may seem banal, it is said that “where there is trust, it is disgusting.” Believe it or not, that’s how it is.

The words we speak to those closest to us are sometimes sharper than any knife.they create walls that are very difficult to break down and hurt the people we really love and esteem.

Although sometimes we feel the urge to talk, it is important to weigh the words, telling ourselves what we want to say to another person. We must value the consequences of our opinions and always resort to courtesy and kindness.

The art of saying with wisdom and respect

It is not about always being silent and hiding what we think, because we cannot forget that What is not spoken concretely is as if it did not exist.. Words of encouragement, those that come from our hearts to reach another person’s, those are the ones that are of great importance.

Speak what is necessary, know how to listen, do not speak for the sake of speaking, because talking too much, without thinking about what is said and without control, can lead us to say stupid things or words that can hurt another person.

The importance of honesty

Scientists at Harvard University conducted a study of brain activity during a series of tests in which the honesty of a group of people was analyzed. They discovered that the Honesty depends more on the absence of temptations than on active resistance to them.

In neural terms, the result obtained means that the brain activity of people who are honest does not vary when faced with temptation (earning money by cheating), while the brain activity of dishonest people are transformed by temptationeven if they don’t give in to it.

The study was published in the journal Pdegrees of the National Academy of Sciences and has been directed by Joshua Greene, a professor of psychology at Harvard University’s School of Arts and Sciences.

Greene explains that, based on these results, Being honest does not depend on an effort of will, but rather to be predisposed to honesty in a spontaneous way. According to the researcher, this may not be true in all situations, but it is true in the situation studied.

The reasons why we lie or tell the truth

On the other hand, researchers from the Autonomous University of Madrid and the University of Quebec in Montreal carried out an experiment to know the reasons why people lie or tell the truth in a given situation.

Until then, it was thought that we always told the truth if it materially suited us and we would lie otherwise. But now, with the research carried out, it has become clear that People tell the truth, even if it costs them materially. The question is why?

In this sense, different hypotheses are used, because, on the one hand, It is understood that people are sincere because they have internalized it and the opposite makes them feel negative emotions, such as guilt or shame, what we know as pure aversion to lying. This aversion has to do with the aversion to creating a dissonance between a person’s image of themselves and how they actually behave.

Other motivations to be honest have to do with altruism, conformity with what we think the other expects us to say, that is, the desire not to disappoint the other person’s expectations.

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