9 secrets of the happy family

What is the revenue of happy family🇧🇷 Those in which understanding, respect and collaboration far outweigh moments of conflict? “A conscious attitude is the key to harmony”, says psychologist Heloísa Schauff, from São Paulo. “In every home there are moments of irritation and disagreement. What makes all the difference is the way family members act in the face of these crises,” she explains. Below, we list the nine key secrets that act as triggers for creating and preserving family harmony. How about trying it?

1. Leisure

“One of the characteristics of happy family it’s enjoying together, taking advantage of pleasant programs to live together”, recalls Heloísa. Challenges, board or card games, cinema or a little movie at home, themed dinner, camping, literary soiree, horseback riding, going out dancing, karaoke or even that short trip to the grandparents’ house. Write down each one’s preferences, talk about the programs and arrange to do once a month, including grandpa, grandma and next of kin – it’s more fun! These family activities favor relaxed hours, recharge your batteries, strengthen family ties and even yield a good photo album!

2. Availability

When we are in tune with our family members, we feel the need for certain attitudes, such as small kindnesses that mean a lot in our day-to-day life: leaving a little note saying “good test” or “good meeting”, noticing when the person prefers to keep to himself or needs help. a hug. It’s pretending you’re giving a ′′ treat ′′ to the scalp just to make a cafuné. It’s smiling, saying a word of encouragement, making a treat, a surprise, showing that there’s a desire to be together. But the biggest surprise of all is finding out that, when doing this without expecting anything in return, we feel the warmth of that affection warming our chest, which is very tasty and contagious!

3. Dialogue

“It is in the family that we learn to collaborate, compete, win and lose. This learning can lead to trauma, fights, violence, or make us stronger and more confident – ​​it will depend on family solidarity”, evaluates the master in clinical psychology and family therapist Valéria Meirelles, from São Paulo. There is only one secret: put yourself in the person’s shoes, especially in moments of tension, and give strength, encouragement and support. This does not mean doing for the other, but making room for each one to be heard and taken into account. Talking can bring great lessons.

4. Respect

“Without basic rules of coexistence, each one takes into account only their own will, making room for disrespect and fights”, warns Heloísa. The son will listen to loud music when his sister is studying, the television and the computer will be played over and over again, the dirty dishes will be left to mom again and everyone will end the day knocked out by stress. A good tip is to make a to-do list and gather the family to negotiate. What is good for everyone is not boring for anyone.

5. Friendship

“When living together at home is enjoyable, welcoming family friends brings many advantages”, says Heloísa. New bonds of friendship are formed, isolation in a closed group is avoided or that loneliness that strikes when the family is not socially integrated, does not cultivate friends or acquaintances. “Opening yourself to relationships, like getting to know the parents of your children’s friends better, for example, can be rewarding to discover interesting people. Not to mention that the house is happier”, she points out.

6. Privacy

How would you feel if you caught someone going through your stuff? “It may seem silly, but even a small child has the right to have her little things preserved from the inappropriate use of her brother, for example. There is no family harmony without respect for privacy and without everyone knowing the limits between ‘mine’ and ‘yours’”, says Valéria. Although the house is a collective environment, having your own space is important to build personality.

7. sweetness

With so many people at home, what’s not lacking is someone to point out other people’s faults. The big tip for making a review is the intention. When she is loving, the person chooses the right time, the right words, the right way to criticize and, thus, the comment becomes an intelligent observation and makes the other reflect instead of reacting. “Saying things like ‘you’re stupid’ or showing hostility with silence and irony are aggressions that generate defenses and a bad atmosphere at home”, says Heloísa.

8. Tolerance

Even if you agree on a lot, no two people are alike – with identical interests, temperaments and values. Each human being is a unique combination of these. “Recognizing the essence of those who live with us generates respect for differences, creates opportunities for dialogue and exchange and even gives us flexibility to live with other ways of being and living, even away from home”, says psychologist Heloísa Schauff. Anyone who understands the difference becomes an inwardly richer person.

9. Optimism

When there is a habit of focusing on the positive, the family develops flexibility, serenity and courage to deal with problems. Therefore, parents should praise their children and be self-confident in difficult times – this way everyone is strengthened and everything is resolved without drama. The opposite is also true: parents who constantly point out their children’s flaws tend to turn them into insecure people, who give up easily and soon feel defeated.