People who always ask for favors: why do they do it?

“Come on, if it doesn’t cost you anything… will you do this for me?” People who always ask for favors never cease to surprise us. They have a thousand resources, hundreds of excuses and a million compliments to get us to give in, to get what they want from us. If you know or are very close to someone who acts this way, you have often wondered why they are like this.

We ask this question basically for two reasons. The first is obvious: Asking for a favor is never easy, at least for most people.. When we do it it is because we have no choice and we have reached the limit. For this reason, it dismays us to see how many people are in no hurry to make direct or indirect demand their lifestyle.

Likewise, there is another issue: these types of situations end up putting us on the tightrope. The one where relationships shake and we reconsider whether they are blatantly taking advantage of our good work. It is being suspended in a scenario in which sooner or later we have to raise limits, walls that are not always welcome.

What defines this type of personality “subscribed” to excessive demand? We analyze it.

People who always ask for favors: the person behind the smile

There are those who ask for favors because they need it and when they do it, the need is perceived in their expression, vulnerability and even the shadow of shyness. Because doing so is not easy, pride is put aside and emotions are stripped bare. Now, the people who always ask for favors and who are always on top of us arrive with a different expression.

Their demands are accompanied by lukewarm smiles, like that of a three-year-old child asking for a toy. Often, PhDs in art and smuggling favors do it in a hurry, because something has happened at the last minute and they need it from us imminently. In this way, they put us between a rock and a hard place, making it almost impossible for a “no” to come out of our mouths.

This behavioral pattern already gives us more than one step to understand what is behind it.

Narcissists: if you love me, you grant me

The narcissistic personality abounds in excess in our daily lives. There are many people who, without presenting a narcissistic personality disorder as such, show traits and behaviors that make coexistence difficult. Thus, one of the most common characteristics is that of obtaining from others what one wants.

However, they do it in a sophisticated way. They appeal to “With what I love you, I’m sure you’re going to do this for me.» or the classic “I would do it for you” . Emotional blackmail is the engine that drives a large part of their demands, those in which we can fall into for a specific time until we can’t take it anymore.

When the relationship is closer: less reluctance to make demands

Our partner, our mother, our brother or a best friend… Sometimes, Closeness causes reluctance and restraint to fall, to the point of assuming that we will do whatever it takes for them.. However, we must be clear: neither love nor the same genetic code forces anyone to be subject to what that person wants from us.

There are boundaries and boundaries make every relationship healthy. Not because we love someone very much can we give everything at every moment.

The lack of empathy and selfishness in people who always ask for favors

There are people with a lack of empathy, those who are not able to understand that the favor they ask of us is not good for us to fulfill. They are profiles that only look out for their own good, those that only seek to cover their immediate need, their momentary whim.

Selfishness is present in our society and can be very close to us, especially in people who always ask for favors.

When I don’t know how to solve my own problems and I depend on others

Often, we can find another factor behind this behavior that needs to be kept in mind. There are those who have not yet learned to take responsibility for their own life. As we well know, what defines our maturity, competence and resolution is being able to solve for ourselves the challenges that arise on a daily basis; whether small or large.

There are people who have not yet learned to be responsible for themselves. Therefore, we may have the classic friend, co-worker, neighbor or even family member who expects us to be the ones to solve any problem for them. We only need to do it once and they will depend on us for almost everything.

How to treat someone who keeps asking us for things?

Who most and who least has been seen in this situation at some point?. We may, for example, have a co-worker who has become too accustomed to asking us for this and that, even assuming that it costs us nothing to cover his back, do what he is asked of us and save him in that last-ditch need. hour.

The first recommendation on this topic is that we always do what our heart tells us. We must carry out what makes us feel good, what pleases us, what we feel. If there comes a time when we begin to feel the sting of restlessness, of “they are taking advantage of me” or what they are asking of me is not going well with me, we must say it and we must act.

People who always ask for favors need limits and when we first tell them out loud “No, I’m not going to do what you’re asking me.” It will be much better. Thus, when the person asking us for a favor is a family member or a very close person, we must speak sincerely.

Not by saying no to a demand we love them any less. It is simply about maintaining integrity, respecting spaces and understanding that a relationship also needs reciprocity. To love is to be sincere at all times and if there is something that we do not feel like doing, we must say so and we must be respected for it.

They are complex situations that we must learn to handle as soon as possible to be able to coexist and protect our self-esteem.

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