6 keys to overcoming love rejection

Overcoming a love rejection sometimes becomes a titanic task, but you can always take some actions to achieve it.

In the love of a couple many of our hopes, our voids and our traumas are at stake. Therefore, overcoming a love rejection is sometimes not so easy. It always depends on many circumstances.

The loss of a great love It can be devastating if we carry within us an unhealthy seed of feelings of abandonment.. Likewise, when it catches us at an age, or at a moment in life in which we are highly vulnerable. If there is deception or abuse, it can also become very difficult to overcome a romantic rejection.

Despite everything, it is always possible. Get up and move forward It is never easy, but it is not impossible either.. In the task of overcoming a love rejection, sometimes it helps to follow some basic advice. These are some of those keys that could make the path easier.

“Where you can’t love, pass by”.

-Friedrich Nietzsche-

1. Check the wound

The first thing you should do, even if it hurts, is remove the improvised bandage and check the true size of your wound. . What did you really lose? It is important that you answer that question as honestly as possible. Sometimes we do not lose the great love of our life, as we believe, but rather a series of hopes and expectations that we had placed in that relationship.

It is also possible that the most painful thing is not the loss itself. Sometimes the ego hurts more. Perhaps we have brought with us a certain doubt about our value from a long time ago, with our self-esteem already wounded. Loss does nothing more than show us that reality without anesthesia. To overcome a rejection in love we must break down what was really involved there.

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2. Express yourself through all possible means

Feelings that are not expressed They often become sources of discomfort. Most especially when it comes to negative feelings. That is why we must open all possible channels to express them.

Those channels There are many, not just talking over and over again about what happened. You can write, for example. As many times as necessary. You can paint that pain. You can even dance too. Anything that allows those feelings to come out is valid for overcoming romantic rejection.

However, we must keep in mind that the expression of our pain has a limit. It is recommended to get that pain out, express it, but without prolonging it too much over time. This could cause the pain to flare up again and again. Popularly we usually say, “add more fuel to the fire.” It is important to distinguish between letting off steam and rejoicing in that pain.. And there is a fine line that separates them and we must be careful.

3. Manage focus

Due to the psychological impact of the loss, The usual thing is that the thought is filled with a gloomy mantle. Without realizing it, you begin to focus only on the most negative aspects of everything. You unintentionally choose the most painful interpretations of events and focus on everything bad in the world.

It is important that you do not get carried away with this. What you need to do is refocus your attention in a way that is more constructive for you.. Do not allow pain to invade your entire being, because it is a path that leads you only to bitterness. Strive to bring positive thoughts to your mind. Emphasize your will to appreciate all the good that still remains. This will be of great help to overcome a love rejection.

4. Free yourself from stereotypical thoughts

The culture insists that a loss or failure is totally undesirable. It is completely proven that this is not true. First, because such situations are inevitable. All human beings go through there. And second, because there is no greater opportunity to grow than difficult experiences.

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Really the problem is not the loss but our way of coping with this loss. There are those who deal with it better and those who deal with it worse. This should make us think that there is no single way to deal with a problem. But we can choose (even though it’s hard for us to believe it) way of relating to the problem per se.

A love rejection is not the end of the world. Even if there are soap operas and songs that say it. Quite the opposite. Every ending also marks a beginning. What must happen happens. And it is always positive, if you want it to be that way.

5. Avoid rumination

It is very certain that when we face rejection in love, repetitive and recurring thoughts appear associated with our personal worth and the causes of the rejection.

Therefore, andIt is very important to learn to avoid these thoughts or ruminations and focus on strengthening our self-esteem.
Constantly repeating ideas to ourselves like “I don’t deserve anyone to love me” or “What am I doing to receive this rejection?” cause us to unfairly blame ourselves for a situation that is out of our control and that it has nothing to do with what we are as people.

6. Take the opportunity to make changes in your life

If you feel like you can’t continue living like this, great. It’s time for you to focus on change. Don’t think about the person you lost, but about the other aspects of your life. There is always something to throw away, there is always something to undertake. Focus on that.

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Nothing better to overcome a love rejection than introducing new things. Learning something new is always an excellent alternative. It is an activity that occupies your mind and lifts your gaze so that you can focus on new horizons. It is also advisable to start frequenting new social circles or strive to introduce new habits.

You must be aware that nothing you do will automatically take away the pain.. Wounds of the heart always take time. Do not rush. Tolerate suffering and think that it also helps you grow. Nurture hope and do not fall into isolation or victimhood. Trust that everything will turn out well, haven’t you gotten up before?

What does the research tell us?

Overcoming a rejection in love is not easy and everyone deals with it as they think is best. However, this event has not gone unnoticed by researchers. Thus, in a study carried out by García and Ilabaca (2013) They offer us some keys to overcome a love rejection in the best possible way:

Through social support. Seeking support from our loved ones is a way to obtain comfort and advice. In this way, we are strengthened in these types of situations.Emotional expression. Expressing our emotions contributes to our emotional improvement.Avoidance. They assure that when there is no possibility of reconciliation, avoidance allows the rejection situation to be processed on a cognitive level. In this way, avoidance helps the grieving process and continues living with higher levels of well-being.