Characteristics of people with low self-esteem

In this article, we will explore the main characteristics of people with low self-esteem and some tips to work on it. This analysis is essential, since maintaining good self-esteem over time is related to a higher quality of life and emotional well-being.

However, self-esteem, as a dimension sensitive to events—both internal and external—varies throughout our lives. This happens because The perception of our personal worth is closely linked to the positive and negative milestones of our history.. Let’s, therefore, begin to analyze this dimension in depth. Don’t miss anything.

What is self-esteem?

To begin with, we can understand self-esteem as the way we make judgments about ourselves. The purpose of these judgments is usually inquisitorial, and they can be positive or negative.

Taking the work of Carl Rogers as a reference, many of the negative judgments we make about ourselves are a consequence of the comparison between our “real self” and an “ideal self.” Sometimes, this ideal is built from aspirational models of beauty, fame and wealth and, since it is not based on our real characteristics, it negatively affects the way we feel about our own being.

These evaluations that we make about ourselves are subjective and are usually loaded with high emotionality. That is to say, They are closely linked to the feelings we experience towards ourselves. If the evaluation is negative, then you will have low self-esteem.

What characterizes people with low self-esteem?

As was said, one of the main characteristics of people with low self-esteem is negative internal speech. That is, establishing an internal dialogue in which achievements, growth or effort are omitted.. In other words, the elements that speak well about ourselves.

However, there are other characteristic features of these people. Let’s see them in detail below.

1. Insecurity and lack of self-confidence

People with low self-esteem tend to be insecure and indecisive.. They may find it very difficult to make decisions or take risks, because they fear making mistakes and making mistakes. They also have a defensive attitude towards criticism and are more sensitive to peer pressure, which also makes decision-making difficult.

For this reason, and as a work published in Journal of Vocational Behavior, People with low self-esteem are more reluctant to accept positive compliments; even when these come from close people. Another study published in Journal of Vocational Behavior suggested that higher self-esteem can help alleviate the negative effects of loss of control in work environments; so low self-esteem has the opposite effect.

2. Fear of negative judgments

Linked to the above, People with self-esteem problems may show excessive concern about what people will say.. That is, they tend to assimilate under a pessimistic magnifying glass what they understand may be the opinion of others.

This is explained by the importance of perceived social support for people. In fact, Feeling that others support you (and that they have a good opinion of you) correlates with good self-esteem. A biased or erroneous perception, in this case, would contribute to not improving in this aspect.

3. Avoidant behaviors

It is also possible that this fear encourages avoidance behavior towards new challenges due to fear of failure and making mistakes. Also, There may be a tendency to want to take a backseatbe invisible and thus avoid attracting attention.

The danger of experiential avoidance is that it correlates with the appearance of emotional disorders. In this way, we would enter a loop in which Lack of self-esteem leads to avoidance and this feeds the negative feelings resulting from low self-esteem..

4. Lack of assertiveness

Consequently, a feature of low self-esteem is usually a lack of assertiveness, that is, poor ability to clearly express wants and needs. In addition to this, there may be a tendency for people with self-esteem problems to be unable to say “no”, and end up making unwanted commitments or taking actions against their will.

5. Emotional dependence

On the other hand, emotional dependence and idealization of others are also characteristics of low self-esteem. Faced with a negative assessment of themselves, people with low self-esteem can construct ideally perfect versions of the people close to them, especially those on whom they depend emotionally.

A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin reported that people with low self-esteem tend to exhibit behaviors associated with indirectly seeking support. This is, develop actions such as sulking, whining, or showing sadness to obtain social support. Partially, this is related to their emotional dependence.

6. Distorted self-concept

Additionally, An important trait associated with low self-esteem is removing the focus of attention on the qualities. That is, stripping the object of our gaze, of our achievements and of our potential.

Low self-esteem can also lead us to be overly critical, inflexible and demanding of ourselves, that is, putting into practice maladaptive perfectionism. This is largely observed in the educational field and in body satisfaction.

7. Tendency to self-sabotage

Finally, the tendency to think things like “I’m out of luck” or “I’ll never be able to achieve that” is also a characteristic of people with low self-esteem. It is also possible that they show negative attitudes and little will to change.

Unconsciously, these ideas lead to behaviors that sabotage those same achievements.. For example, if a student believes that he will be unable to pass a subject, he is more likely to spend little time studying it. The result will, indeed, be a failure.

Similarly, low self-esteem has been related to self-sabotage in relationships. In principle, this manifests itself in different aspects of a person’s life, such as work, family, friendship and other relationships.

How to strengthen self-esteem?

Fortunately, we can take action to feel better about ourselves. We have the opportunity to work consciously and intentionally on the way we evaluate ourselves and obtain results that benefit us.

Strategies such as writing a journal and recording how these achievements make us feel can go a long way toward strengthening our self-esteem. This is because it will help us recognize our triumphs and encourage us to pursue new goals every day.

It is also important to take a look at how we express our thoughts, are we assertive? How do we set limits for others in the areas that concern us?

The importance of going to the psychologist

Finally, We can seek professional help to try to identify the origin of these negative feelings towards us.. This action can be of great importance for your emotional well-being, since low self-esteem is present (and triggers) disorders such as eating disorders or depression very often.

Therefore, take some time to take care of your mental health and transform your life on a kinder path. And of course, remember: you don’t have to do it alone.

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