Why do people without empathy create chaos in our reality?

Having people around us who lack empathy is the most painful thing.. After all, it plays a leading role in understanding and connecting with the feelings, suffering and behavior of others. Interacting with people with reduced empathy, especially at critical moments, can be quite challenging from an emotional point of view.

Empathy is an aspect that must be present for a bond to be meaningful and satisfying. It is understood as a spectrum, so it is not something that is fully developed or lacking at all. In this article, we share the main characteristics of people who have this ability in deficit or reduced.

What is empathy?

Empathy is a complex concept that has been studied from very diverse areas such as biology, neuroscience, psychology and sociology. At the same time, it is approached as a communicative skill, as a civic competence and as an element of emotional intelligence.

In general terms, we understand it as the ability to understand another’s view of reality by perceiving and being aware of their feelings. Although it has been worked on by researchers with different approaches, they all agree that empathy has both emotional and cognitive components, and that its value for individual and collective well-being is fundamental.

The truth is that there are people more empathetic than others. In turn, someone can show different degrees of empathy according to various situations. Some aspects that influence its development are the parenting style received, childhood history and personality traits. Likewise, and as a work published in Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, Women seem to have a genetic predisposition to be more empathetic than men.

Main traits of unempathetic people

Someone with a lack of empathy usually has difficulties when establishing satisfactory relationships, since they have attitudes that have consequences painful and uncomfortable. Despite this, it is not always easy to identify. Many times these traits are usually attributed to the subject’s personality or her character.

The degree of trust you have with the person in question, past experiences, the level of guilt or participation they may or may not have, and so on, influence the empathic response. There are traits that do not go unnoticed, especially if they are evaluated together. Below we mention the most relevant characteristics of people with little empathy.

1. They do not understand other people’s emotions

People lacking empathy show indifferent or insensitive to the emotional situations of others. Either because they do not understand their feelings or because they react to them with apathy. For example, They are not moved by the pain of others nor are they happy about the achievements of others..

2. They have no consideration for the needs of others

They prioritize their interests, desires and needs in a rigid and absolute way. They focus on their personal well-being without taking into account what others need or want. They immerse themselves in themselves, focusing on their inner world.

An important clarification: putting yourself first does not mean not having empathy. Now, if prioritizing yourself involves dismissing other people’s emotions and even taking advantage of the situation to benefit, we are dealing with a person lacking empathy.

3. They have a low ability to recognize non-verbal signals

A research published in Communication Magazine, which focuses on non-verbal language as a higher cognitive process indispensable for humans, suggests that the expression of emotions is totally innate. In turn, the study highlights that understanding facial gestures, tone of voice and body language It is crucial for social interaction.

People lacking empathy may have difficulty identifying the non-verbal cues of others and, therefore, understanding their emotions. It has been proposed that there is a relationship between emotional intelligence, empathy and non-verbal sensitivity. Since much of communication is gestural, A person with little empathy may have trouble detecting the gestures that trigger understanding behavior..

4. They always expect something in return

They take to the limit the belief that relationships have to be reciprocal. So instead of giving selfless affection, they only give if they receive something in return. They relate in a utilitarian way, making manipulation a way of life.

Thus, these people can seem cold and calculating to us, since we experience unpleasant situations with them in which we feel poorly understood because they are only looking out for their convenience.

5. They confuse sincerity with lack of emotional filter

They say everything that goes through their heads, regardless of whether the information issued has constructive value or not. They usually present an aggressive and violent communication style, causing suffering in others.

They may even make comments that are as hurtful as they are inappropriate. It’s more, They do not usually show remorse or guilt after harming others. And, if they apologize, they do so because in some way or another that action benefits them.

6. They consider themselves superior to the rest

A recent study published in Advances in Latin American Psychology reports a direct association between narcissism and a deficit in empathy and prosocial behaviors. Thus, we understand that considering oneself more valuable or important than the rest is an aspect that usually occurs in these cases.

7. They are very critical

They are, especially, with the emotional reaction of people when facing different day-to-day situations. They may blame those around them for being “too sensitive,” “too emotional,” and so on.. Also, they can point out that people are guilty of the things that happen to them, without considering the context or giving validity to the emotions that others experience.

Disorders associated with lack of empathy

We have already noted that empathy is a spectrum. All people are empaths, they just have a different “grade” of it due to genetic, cultural, developmental, educational, and other factors. Furthermore, it is well established that people may stop engaging in empathetic behavior if they perceive that it will take a lot of work (cognitive, emotional, financial, and so on).

That said, the relationship between reduced empathy and some psychological disorders is also well established. Let’s look at some of them:

Narcissistic personality disorder: In people with this disorder, egocentrism and grandiosity prevail. They show extreme concern for themselves and leave others aside. In this case, the lack of empathy is based on the fact that they do not see beyond themselves.Antisocial personality disorder: People with antisocial personalities cannot adapt to social norms and have a hard time connecting with others, which is why it is understood that they lack empathy. In fact, their antisocial behavior can lead them to commit serious crimes without showing any remorse.Borderline personality disorder: They are characterized by presenting marked emotional instability. They find it difficult to maintain stable relationships and have greater difficulty understanding and predicting how others feel.

Similarly, reduced empathy is also found in people with autism spectrum disorder and alexithymia. On the other hand, a work published in Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica found that people at high clinical risk for psychosis manifest lower emotional empathy, while patients with schizophrenia are characterized by impaired cognitive empathy.

A trait to consider when choosing our links

Now that you know the main characteristics Of people lacking empathy, you can detect them more easily. Keep in mind that they tend to build superficial relationships and are often conditioned by interest and self-benefit.

Now, it is true that sometimes we can make mistakes and see only our interests, which does not mean that we are not empathetic. The important thing is to know how to choose consciously which people we have close to us and in whom we place our trust.

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