14 signs that a man is using you and it’s time to end it –

When we fall in love, unfortunately we lose a lot of objectivity and sometimes we are unable to detect the obvious warning signs that tell us that we are in an abusive relationship. It doesn’t matter that all your friends tell you all the time that this man uses you, or that he puts you through bad times all the time or that he lies to you repeatedly: you always find a way to justify his behavior and excuse him.

Does it sound familiar to you? So take off the blindfold and check out these 14 signs that he doesn’t really love you and is just using you. Dare to be honest with yourself and, if you detect these attitudes, for your own good, end that relationship.

1. You are always doing things for him without getting anything in return

It is not a contradiction to say that, on the one hand, in a relationship we must do things for the other in a selfless way but, on the other hand, it is not okay for one to give everything without receiving anything in return. One of the first and most frequent signs that someone is using you, whether in love, friendship or even at work, is when you give much more than you receive.

This can be expressed in many ways, as there are many kinds of abuse. This can be economic, emotional or even sexual, and can be the result of conscious psychological manipulation on the part of the other, but it can also appear when you are so worried about being liked, or so blinded by love, that you give a lot of things without they ask you for them, which are not really valued.

When someone uses you in a relationship, they don’t necessarily do it consciously. Sometimes it happens that you, without realizing it, foster a dynamic that is disadvantageous to you because you offer everything you have to someone who is not worth it or who pays you very little. Then, for the other person it is simply easier to stay there because they are receiving many benefits without having to give much in return. It is not an ethical position, but unfortunately many do not even realize that they are using their partner selfishly, so it is you who must break with that.

2. You are only available when you get something in return

Does he only go out with you when there will be sex involved? When are you going to buy him some drinks? If you want to go to the movies, does he only agree if he is the one who goes to see the movie he likes and you also pay? Does he frequently tell you that he would like to go to this or that place, but that he doesn’t have money? When you propose a simpler outing, like going for a walk in the park or just watching movies on the couch, does he make excuses or say that he doesn’t feel like it?

Alarm signal! When a boy loves you, he not only tries to get you to do things that you both like and are interested in, and even to please you by going to see that romantic movie that doesn’t really appeal to him. Furthermore, the simple fact of being able to be with you is more than enough reason to make space in his agenda for you, so he will not hesitate to accompany you in less “fun” situations, such as a family gathering at your grandmother’s house or a simple walk. Pay close attention to whether he really wants to go out with you, or whether he’s just using you to pay the bills or to vent his libido.

Remember: if seeing each other depends on what you’ll do or where you’ll go, he doesn’t really want you, he wants what he can get through you.

3. He only looks for you when he wants or needs something

Typical! You are always the one who calls him or writes to him, and he usually leaves you on notice or answers you without much emotion. But when he needs anything, from someone to watch the cat while he goes on vacation (without you) to a “small” cash loan, he knows he can always count on you and you’re obviously the first person he calls. Worst of all, you may not realize that he only uses you when he needs something and, instead, fool yourself into thinking that the fact that he turns to you means that you do, in fact, have a relationship. “special”. Obviously, he’s also going to tell you that you can count on him for anything, but… is this really true in practice?

It is very hard to open our eyes and realize that we have spent months or even years justifying a person who asks and asks, but offers nothing in return. But you have to stop letting them walk all over you. You are worth more than that!

Do a simple exercise: ask them for something simple, like to help you put up a bookcase, to accompany you to do a procedure, or simply to spend an afternoon doing something you like. You will see that he immediately has a thousand and one excuses not to be there for you.

We know that just as sometimes he can leave a lot to be desired as a couple and disappoint you again and again, on other occasions he seems to transform and become the most loving and attentive boyfriend on the planet. No, it’s not that he has clinical bipolarity; Rather, he might be displaying those charming attitudes to…get something in return.

Don’t let his attitude confuse you. He’s probably capable of faking all of that just to get what he wants out of you: sex, a gift, or something else you wouldn’t normally give in to.

This is most toxic because not only are you pushing for benefits, you are also doing it in a manipulative and dishonest way. You realize that his attention and affection are not genuine because they are always accompanied by a request. It’s as if it sent you the message “I was already affectionate with you, now you are obliged to give me what I want in return.” If your self-esteem is not at its best and you feel that he is doing you a favor by being nice and nice to you, then it is very likely that you will fall for this blackmail. It is time to review your relationship with your partner, but above all, your relationship with yourself and your self-love.

5. The only thing that matters to him is intimate relationships

We would all like by our side a partner who always sees us with eyes of love and who is ready to jump into bed at all times. But we also know that sex is not everything: a relationship is built on sharing many other things besides fluids: long conversations, good and bad times, meaningful experiences and even long silent glances with which they can express everything they feel.

Passion alone cannot sustain a romance because you also need to genuinely care about each other in all aspects. If you are with someone who just wants to have sex and pounces on you as soon as you are alone, without even asking you how your day was, if you already had lunch or simply if you are also in the mood or feel comfortable, then we are sorry to tell you that he is interested in your body, but not your person.

Love attracts us to the physical, but first of all it predisposes us to take care of the emotional, to ensure that the other party feels just as happy and willing to share the erotic moments of the relationship. If this does not happen, and above all you feel pressured or forced to have sex even if you don’t want to, then you have to stop justifying yourself and put an immediate stop to that situation.

6. He is not interested in your interests, opinions or future plans

Why be in a relationship with someone with whom you don’t share values, interests and future plans? He may be talking all the time about what he likes to do, his life expectations and what goals he wants to achieve, but if he is never interested in yours or your points of view, nor does he look for a way to combine the objectives of the two of you in a single joint life plan, then it means that either he really has no plans to be with you in the long term, or he intends to relegate you all his life to a secondary role in the relationship.

For example, if he doesn’t stop talking about his plans to go live abroad without asking you what you think, it’s because he doesn’t want to include you in those plans, or because he’s not interested in your opinion on the matter because he considers it your obligation. That is to say yes to everything and go with it, abandoning your own dreams and even your family, work or studies.

Remember that just because someone plans to be with you for a long time… doesn’t mean they aren’t using you; A relationship should always be equitable and reciprocal.

7. He is only interested in how you look

If all the flattery or compliments he gives you have solely and exclusively to do with the way you look at yourself, we are sorry to tell you that, far from being flattering, it means that perhaps he only sees you as a doll on the sideboard or as a trophy girlfriend to show off. to the world, but not as an integral woman who, in addition to beauty, is full of virtues and has a lot to offer.

Someone who loves you sees much beyond the physical and can recognize that you are intelligent, kind, friendly, funny, brave, persevering, etc., etc. However, if he is only using you as an accessory, like an expensive watch or a sports car, then it is highly likely that at the slightest opportunity he will trade you for a more beautiful woman.

You can also realize that he is using you when he demands that you improve your appearance, that you diet or exercise more, that you groom yourself more and how he likes, and he may even suggest a couple of plastic surgeries to make you look like him. more to the type of ideal woman he has in his head.

It is one thing to worry about our partner’s health and encourage them to have healthier habits, and quite another to try to force them to look more attractive just for our delight.

8. He never introduces you to his friends or family

If you have not agreed to have a formal relationship and yours is more casual, then there is nothing strange about him not introducing you to his circle of friends and family; But if the sky and the stars have already come down to you and by mutual agreement you have a serious relationship, then it is very strange that you do not know any of the important people in your life, right?

If this is the case, this may be because he is really only pretending to have a formal relationship with you to get something in return, but the truth is that he has no plans to keep his commitment and knows that as soon as he gets bored of you, he will disappear. of your life like smoke. This is also a warning sign that may mean that you are not the only woman in her life, nor the most important.

9. It makes you feel guilty when you demand anything

A healthy relationship has everything to do with giving and receiving. Have you felt that when you request anything, he makes you feel like you are exaggerating or abusing him, regardless of the fact that it is more than obvious that you are right? Does any request of yours always go beyond his possibilities and you begin to believe that he imposed all the terms of coexistence at his discretion?

It is necessary that you first be very clear about the type of relationship you want to have and understand that, if the other party is not willing to negotiate factors that are important to you, then that person is simply not for you.

The worst thing is that if you allow yourself to feel guilty and end up repressing all your desires, you are obviously in an abusive dynamic.

10. He tries to impose his way of thinking on you

We all have our philosophy…