10 reasons why married men look for a lover –

Why do men look for lovers? The eternal question that thousands of women try to answer, especially those who have experienced infidelity in marriage.

Both men and women can be unfaithful, but it seems that it is much more common in the case of men. That mature married people have a relationship with another woman has become something that we already call “normal.”

These are the top 10 reasons why men look for lovers (and some apply to women too):

1. Lack of communication in marriage

The main reason that explains almost all cases of infidelity in marriage is lack of communication.

In absolutely all loving relationships, no matter how good they are, there will be things that we don’t like. When we do not adequately communicate them to others and do not seek a solution, they begin to grow and make us feel less and less satisfied at home.

From this disagreement, which can come from many different causes, an emotional void arises and the need to fill it, even if it is with a person outside the marriage.

This does not necessarily mean that there is no longer love, but rather that the person considers that what they lack cannot be obtained from the partner and, therefore, they look for it elsewhere. With proper communication, this would not happen.

2. Lack of sex in marriage

The second most common reason that explains why men look for lovers is the lack of sex in marriage.

Unfortunately, many times the interest that women have in sex is less than that of men; especially after several years of relationship. It may also be that, in the absence of novelty, the spark of passion simply went out.

Thousands of marriages around the world live practically without sex, which is quite sad, because it is an emotional need of both sexes.

However, for many reasons, it is easier for men to find someone to have sex with outside the home, since infidelity does not cause them as much guilt as it does for women and they are less socially judged.

3. Lack of love in marriage

Not only love keeps two people together. It could also be economic convenience, custom or the desire to give the children a complete family.

In any case, when love ends between a couple, the most logical thing is to seek to cover all those emotional needs outside the home.

Not all marriages that experience infidelity are unsalvageable, but sometimes infidelity is precisely the evidence that there is no longer love and it would be best to continue each person on their own.

4. For the excitement of novelty

Having an extramarital relationship is not easy or comfortable, generally speaking. You have to move sky, sea and earth to find excuses and hide infidelity. But even so, thousands of men continue to choose to have lovers. Because?

One of the reasons is that in every adventure there is a component of excitement and novelty due to the “forbidden” that is very difficult to find in formal relationships.

Furthermore, lovers tend to only share the “good” and “fun” things, while at home they have to deal with problems of all kinds. This makes us perceive an adventure as an escape from reality.

5. To reaffirm your manhood

Since we have a fairly toxic notion of manhood in this society, many men feel that they need to have many women to reaffirm themselves as macho.

Far from causing them shame, guilt or remorse, they boast about their amorous conquests and, at most, try not to let their wife notice, to avoid complaints.

They know that they are doing something that is not right, but at the same time they cannot help behaving like seducers because they feel that, if they do not do it, they are “less of a man.”

6. Because they don’t know how to say “no”

Unlike women, men are not educated to be modest and “give themselves respect.” It is easier for a woman to say “no” when she likes a man who is not her husband, because sexual self-control has been instilled in her all her life.

Men, on the contrary, do not have these barriers imposed and they are allowed to live their sexuality more freely. There is nothing wrong with this, however, it is a determining factor in whether or not they accept an extramarital proposal.

Maybe they aren’t actively looking for it. But when they are presented with the opportunity to have a lover, they do not have the will to decline the offer.

7. Because they don’t feel appreciated at home

Some men feel that they are not “good enough” for their wives. Especially when they face constant complaints for not carrying enough money or for not being very detailed, whether justified or not.

In these cases, it is natural that they feel attracted to women who do not demand anything from them, because they do not feel any rights over them.

Generally, this is only a passing illusion, because although lovers are not usually demanding at first, as the relationship consolidates they also begin to request more and more attention, and even pressure them to abandon the wife.

8. Because they think that is “normal”

Although things have been changing, previously it was considered perfectly normal for a man to have a “big house” and a “small house”, that is, a wife and a mistress.

Not that there were any particular reasons for it. They simply felt entitled to have as many relationships as they could maintain without conflict. Unfortunately, many men still think this way.

9. To feel young again

One of the most frequent symptoms of the midlife crisis in men is the need to find a lover. This is because they begin to notice the decline in their physical power and want to prove to themselves that they are still attractive.

In these cases, they generally look for lovers who are much younger than themselves.

10. Because they genuinely fell in love

On rare occasions, a man has a lover because they both met and fell in love genuinely and unplanned. At the same time, love or duty toward his wife prevents him from making the decision to divorce.

This is something that can happen to all of us, however, it is not that one falls in love overnight and this is sufficient justification for infidelity.

Signs appear that tell us that we are heading straight towards a never-returning infatuation and, consciously or unconsciously, we decide to go with the flow instead of putting a stop to it, before it is too late.

Next, let’s look at some frequently asked questions on this topic to clarify the most common doubts.

What does it mean to have a lover?

A lover is a person with whom we have a romantic relationship that is not the main one or is “hidden.” It applies both to extramarital relationships and to sporadic relationships that, for one reason or another, we do not recognize as “formal.”

A person can have many lovers and not be unfaithful, because it makes it clear that there is no intention of formality with any of them. The problem is when we have a tacit or explicit contract of fidelity with someone and we break it.

What does it mean to be a man’s lover?

Being a man’s lover means that we are a “secondary” relationship or a relationship without commitments or expectations of exclusivity.

What does it mean to be a lover of a married man?

It is when a woman enters into a loving relationship with a man who already has a marital commitment. It is very common for the lovers of married men to work in the same company or to be their direct subordinates.

Why do men look for lovers? An answer from Psychology

Psychology established a long time ago that human beings are not “monogamous by nature.” This means that we will always face the temptation to look for other sexual partners.

However, we have also established relationship models in which fidelity is the most practical, as in the case of marriage. In this sense, the advantages of resisting the impulses of infidelity allow us to have more harmonious relationships.

So, according to Psychology, the fundamental reason that explains why men look for lovers is because they do not have a strong enough inhibition not to interact with other women.

Why does a happily married man look for a mistress?

Many of the reasons we gave previously have nothing to do with marriage as such being wrong. Sometimes, even if things at home are going well, men feel uncontrollable attraction or desire for other women.

That is why communication with total honesty in the couple is essential, so that both parties feel complete and happy and do not have the need to look for sex, love or attention elsewhere.

Why doesn’t a married man leave his lover?

Because, although having a lover is very exhausting, he feels that the advantages he obtains from that relationship are greater than the disadvantages.

It must also be said that, on rare occasions, married men do not leave their lovers because they threaten or blackmail them in some way.

How does a man feel about his lover?

One cannot generalize at this point. Some men feel nothing more than sexual attraction to their lovers and others are genuinely in love with them.

Why does a married man distance himself from his lover?

For the simple reason that you no longer get the same pleasure from the relationship as before. It may also happen that she understands that what she is doing is not right and chooses to end the infidelity before her marriage is ruined.

Why does a man have a mistress for many years?

Because you find a good balance between the advantages you have in your marriage and the advantages you have in your relationship with your lover. It is very common to find that older men have a “small house” and a “big house.”

Does a married man go back to look for his lover?

It depends on what you feel about her or what needs you cover with that infidelity. Sometimes, they choose to find a different lover to rekindle the feeling of newness.

Does a married man think about his lover?

Constantly. Reminiscing about the passionate moments you have experienced together is something that keeps you motivated and excited. But they don’t necessarily think of her in strictly romantic terms.

We hope that now the reasons why men look for lovers are much clearer to you. But remember that the reasons in each situation are individual and different. We cannot generalize in situations as trivial and complex at the same time as this one.

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