Your teenage daughter is pregnant. And now?

One day, his teenage daughter tells him that she is pregnant. Once the initial shock has passed, you will need to talk to your husband so that, together, you can help your little girl prepare to become a mother. Despite the upheaval in family life, a baby always renews the joy of a home. And the same should be true if it’s your son who will be a father before his time. We have gathered here valuable guidelines for you to face this moment with serenity.

How to support your girl

“It’s no use scolding. Already happened. Now it’s time to welcome, support and call the baby’s father to plan how it will be from then on”, advises Marina Vasconcellos, psychologist and specialist in couples and family therapy at Unifesp. See how to make them aware of their new responsibilities.

· Accept reality, because you are up to your neck in this situation. It’s just that, unfortunately, there’s no way not to compromise. But see the baby news as the beginning of a new stage in which you will have to share the obligations with your daughter, because she is not old enough to assume everything alone.

· Schedule a day to talk, if possible, with the child’s father together. Talk about what needs to change in their lives and ask them to reflect with their feet on the ground. Making them feel guilty will accomplish nothing. The most constructive thing is to look to the future. And act.

· Take advantage of the time of pregnancy to help your daughter get used to the obligations she will assume when she becomes a mother. Is there a baby in the family? Ask to take care of him for a few hours a week and teach your daughter how to bathe, change diapers, put her to sleep… Encourage her to read specialized websites and magazines.

· Some teenage couples who become pregnant are excited to marry or live together. “Don’t encourage it. The chances of going wrong are enormous”, warns the psychologist. The father must be around and help raise the child, but they don’t have the maturity to support themselves.

· Find a support group for pregnant teenagers in your area. “Your daughter will have a good chance to feel understood and also to learn more about motherhood,” says Marina.

· After the birth of the baby, your daughter may end up missing a year of school. After that time, encourage her to go back to studying. If her boyfriend’s mother has a good relationship with your family, she can help look after the child too.

Advice for your husband

The impact of the pregnancy news touches everyone in the family. In some homes, the girl’s father is so disappointed that he even wants to throw the daughter out of the house. If you are experiencing this problem, tell your partner that the girl is also his daughter, and that you cannot wash your hands. It’s a good idea to ask your husband’s trusted family member or friend to give him some advice. A person further away from the situation can help you see the fact with different eyes.