What is polyamory? Benefits and difficulties

“You can be in love with several people at the same time,

and all of them with the same pain, without betraying any of them.”

(Gabriel Garcia Marquez)

Have you ever felt that you were in love with two or more people at the same time?

Maybe you thought you wanted to maintain a sexual and loving relationship with those people and fully enjoy them. But, we have the traditional paradigm of a couple of two individuals so deeply rooted, that only The thought of having two or more partners makes us feel guilty.

To maintain relationships with several people in a satisfactory way, a lot of ethics and morals are required.since total sincerity is necessary to be able to live the experience fully.

It may seem to us that it is easier to lie and live an open relationship without the other parties involved knowing, but that will not allow us to live it and enjoy it fully.

Besides What’s wrong with feeling love and desire for two or more people at the same time? Nothing. There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty as long as we act sincerely and honestly, and that is precisely what is complicated.

The first thing we must do to know polyamoryis to distinguish it from other concepts with which it is often confused.

Polyamory is…

Polyamory is not a free relationship, In a free relationship, the two components of the relationship look for other sexual partners but they do not coexist nor do they usually create a bond beyond the sexual one.

Polyamory is not a couple exchangesince swinging is simply having creative sexual relationships with other couples.

Polyamory is not a threesome, because It is not just about sex but about a deeper relationship with two or more people.

Polyamory consists of having a loving and sexual relationship with several people at the same time, and for that relationship to last.

Evidently Not all of us are happy with the same things, nor the same way of seeing and living relationships. In fact, some people are happy in monogamous relationships and live it to the fullest. But infidelities in monogamous couples, on some occasions, reveal our polyamorous nature.

What are the benefits of polyamory?

One of the main beneficial aspects of polyamory is that there is no possession. We are no one’s possession nor is anyone our possession. Therefore, you end up with something that characterizes a monogamous relationship and that can go against our human nature: the possession of another person.

He guilt-free and free sex with other people, it is something we can enjoy with a polyamorous relationship. From the first moment, We must be sincere with what we want and how we want it, That way there will be no misunderstandings and no one will be able to reproach us for anything later.

A polyamorous relationship is a relationship in which we are likely to feel more satisfied.

Initially, it is thought that if there is infidelity in a monogamous relationship, it is because there is a dissatisfaction in the relationship and that if we have a polyamorous relationship it is because we feel dissatisfied with a first partner.

This idea was disproved by a study carried out by the psychologist Melissa Mitchellfrom the University of Georgia, who interviewed 1,093 people in polyamorous relationships and concluded that The search for a second person had nothing to do with dissatisfaction with the initial partner, since intimacy and satisfaction with the first partner increased over time.

What are the main difficulties of a polyamorous relationship?

-Jealousy. Jealousy is inevitable until we learn to speak and say the things that bother us. Maybe it bothers us to see how two other people kiss, but if we don’t say anything, the problem will never be resolved or discussed. It is very human to feel jealous but We must learn to manage them and know their origin.

-The comparison. Many times we tend to compare ourselves with others, in terms of beauty, intelligence, etc. But it’s absurd. What we like in each person is unique. The love relationship is different with each person.

-The possibility of starting a family. Polyamory means that we can form a family and live with several people. It’s not a family in the traditional sense, but a new, different and more open concept of family that can make us equally happy.

-The breakups. The breakup of a relationship with one of the people who form a polyamorous relationship, It’s as hard as any other breakup can be.. Just because we relate to several people doesn’t mean that we break up with one and it doesn’t hurt. If we love a person for who they are, it will hurt us to lose them, regardless of whether we are in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship.

-Acceptance of others. One of the difficulties we may encounter when clarifying the type of relationship we want is explaining to others what we want the relationship to be like. On the one hand, when we meet someone and want to have a polyamorous relationship, the first thing we have to do is explain it and make it clear.

In addition, we will have the difficulty of our closest environment (family and friends) understanding our way of seeing relationships. In any case, We cannot always expect acceptance from others.because sometimes it is impossible.

How can a person who has been married to the same person for 30 years understand that we want to have a polyamorous relationship? She can’t understand it, but she can respect it.

Polyamory really consists of loving several people without cheating on anyone.

And how would you feel if a polyamorous relationship was proposed to you?