What are the people we are attracted to like?

What are the people we are attracted to and why do they do it? It is clear that every relationship brings us something positive and negative. However, it is very common for us to wonder what the mystery is due to which someone ends up fascinating us. Science has tried to study if opposites truly attract or if we prefer to interact with those who share tastes and attitudes.

The topic of personal attraction, love and couples has given rise to a large amount of literature. In this space you will find the most accepted theories regarding the factors that increase interpersonal attraction. Do not miss it.

Poles that attract and move away

The first presumption raised is the one that tells us that opposite poles attract. From Wellesley University in Massachusetts and the University of Kansas (United States) they tell us that people pair up to complement each other.

These researchers believe that people choose who to share their lives with based on that relationship’s ability to satisfy their needs. An example would be that a very dominant person chooses someone who is submissive to interact with and vice versa.

Secondly, they present the option that opposite poles do not attract. In this way, they assess the possibility that there is greater similarity in attitudes between us and the people around us than what would be expected by pure chance.

They are how we see opposite examples that only add more questions and more doubts. Is there, therefore, some type of definitive data that explains to us what the people we are attracted to are like?

Same values ​​and same vital project

It seems that, although the popular belief that opposites attract is very deep-rooted, Research overwhelmingly indicates that similarity is the rule. That is, we are more similar to our friends and romantic partners than would be expected if we were randomly paired with anyone else.

However, there are studies that suggest that the similarity is perhaps more perceived than real. The study conducted by Wetzel (1979) clearly showed that we are more attracted to people with similar ideas. This is explained because We perceive that we are going to agree more with that person and we tend to get closer or feel more affinity with them.

Curtis and Miller (1986) led some of the participants in their study to believe that a stranger liked them and others that they were not liked by the stranger. Those who believed they were liked were more friendly, self-revealing, and maintained more eye contact. and they spoke more affectionately with the stranger than those who believed they disliked the stranger.

The people we are attracted to and physical appearance

Physical attraction is important both when initiating a social interaction. The people we are attracted to also do so because of their face, image, because of what they give off with their appearance.

It seems that we are initially more attracted to people who we think have a pleasant physical appearance and who are comparable to us. Besides, When we meet someone we tend to group personality traits into two sets:

The first would encompass affective traits (affectionate, cheerful, kind, happy, considerate…) and non-verbal signals: how he smiles, holds his gaze, expresses emotions on his face, etc. The second set of personality traits that we consider must to do with perceived competence: he has an interesting conversation, he knows what he is talking about, he knows how to convey, he does not impose, etc.

The intelligence

Intelligence is another key factor, but we can say little, since its role in attraction between people is not clear since research has obtained contradictory results. Finally, it emerges from research in this field that An unfavorable trait when it comes to feeling attracted is perceiving that person as unfair. or, what is the same, committing an injustice.

Does the environment influence the people we are attracted to?

Yeah. The people closest to us are more attractive to us. Either because being close helps us relate or because as a result of seeing these people and living with them they become familiar and non-threatening people.

Steinzor showed that people sitting face to face hold each other in higher regard, perhaps because they can’t help but relate. Evans and Wilson conducted a curious study in which they analyzed the relationships between college girls who lived together.

If what they shared was a room, in 90% of the cases they were friends and if they shared a flat, they were friends in 69%.. Physical proximity is important when starting a relationship.

Definitely, Research conducted so far indicates that we are more attracted to people who have a similar way of thinking to ours.people who are physically similar to us, physically attractive people, competent people, people who are easy to relate to, and fair people.

We are not looking, therefore, for our better half, but for the oranges most similar to us. Curious, right?

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