Vanistendael’s little house: resilience in construction

You probably already know the term “resilience”. It is the ability of some people to overcome adverse situations and even emerge stronger from them. But…, is the resilient person born or made? Everything indicates that resilience can be worked on. For this reason, psychologist Stefan Vanistendael designed a resilience building model called the little house of resilience. Let’s know more about him.

Vanistendael systematized the pedagogical stages of building resilience through the metaphor of the little house. In it compares the process of building or developing resilience with the process of building a house. This analogy allows us to simplify the process and make it easily understandable. However, before entering the little house, let’s get to know Stefan’s vision on resilience.

What is resilience?

Resilience is in fashion, which has led to many very different definitions. The classic definition, as we mentioned at the beginning, refers to the ability to overcome adversities and emerge stronger from them, transforming them into opportunities of personal development.

Vanistendael is one of the people who has explored the field of resilience the most and speaks of it as a dynamic process, a capacity that is built, but not in a linear way, but with ups and downs. That is, it is a capacity that is variable and that develops in, and with the environment, throughout life. It is never completely complete nor completely incomplete.

Vanistendael’s little house

As Vanistendael says, the little house is a practical help to simplify work and develop resilience. It is not the only possible model. Specifically, in yours it grants a series of characteristics to the house, among which we find:

It allows you to understand complex realities in a simple way. The rooms of the house are the general aspects of resilience (those applicable to different people), while the unique and individual part of each person’s resilience is represented by the furniture in the interior of each room. It is a flexible model, it facilitates communication and allows changes and improvements to be introduced during the process to best adapt it to each person.It allows you to focus attention on the strengths and potential of each person.and not so much in their “traumas”.The little house is intended to be a guide in the process and it will facilitate the visualization of our status, which areas need improvements and which areas we have more developed.

One of the most important comparisons between a house and a resilient person is that neither constitutes a rigid or unchangeable structure. Both have gone through a construction process, may have suffered deterioration at certain times and may have required renovations to improve their structure.

Just like in a house, the different rooms and floors are connected by stairs, hallways, elevators… The different elements or factors of resilience are also related, being interdependent and feeding each other.

Like building a house, Building resilience starts “at the feet”. We are going to take an organized tour of the elements that are built in a house and their analogues in the construction of resilience.

Building Vanistendael’s little house

The soil is the land on which we begin to build, the basic and essential element in all construction., including that of resilience. They constitute the minimum necessary to advance. It is the base of Abraham Maslow’s pyramid of needs: physiological needs (sleep, food and drink, sexuality…), housing, clothing, etc. If we have a stable and resistant floor, our house will remain standing as we build. But that is not enough.

The foundations represent each person’s social networks and their emotional ties, and the formation of a support network. They are all the relationships that we establish with the environment: family, friends, work, our neighborhood of residence… It includes feeling accepted, loved, respected, valued… and our own personal acceptance.

On the first floor is the ability to search for (and give) meaning to our experiences, and our life in general. It consists of being able to respond to “why” things happen to us. We must go beyond the “why”, because it is not just about looking for the cause, but about seeing what a certain situation gives us, what it teaches us, how it can make us grow…

On the second floor we find the rooms. As Vanistendael explains, there are self-esteem, personal and social skills, a sense of humor – something to which the author places a lot of value – and the ability to put things into perspective.

Finally, in the attic or roof is the opening to new experiences. A good construction will allow greater openness to new experiences and the abandonment of the comfort zone. It is also an open space to incorporate new elements that favor the development of resilience.

The importance of resilience from childhood

As we have seen, resilience develops throughout life, being sensitive to our experiences and our environment, as well as other factors. Therefore, it is a capacity that can – and should – be trained from childhood.

Train children’s resilience, Firstly, it helps them understand that adverse situations are part of life, but that they can come out stronger and gain something positive. Working on it is the best way we can bring children closer to facing problems constructively and growing with psychological well-being.

From a certain age it can be useful to work on children’s resilience with the metaphor of the little house, since it can be done in the form of a game, They themselves can draw the drawing of their house and group dynamics can be done. in which each one presents his house to the rest of his companions. This will allow, in addition to working on resilience, to promote self-knowledge and develop other skills, such as assertiveness or social skills.

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