Guilty pleasure or the art of letting go

Those who are not closely related to the world of television fiction will not know the term “guilty pleasure.” The exact translation in Spanish is “guilty pleasure.” But, What does this paradoxical expression describe?

The word “pleasure” is described as a feeling of deep satisfaction. The perfect combination between well-being and euphoria. Endorphins, dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin, all related to happiness, are released in our body.

On the other hand, the feeling of “being guilty of” refers to the weight of responsibility or being the cause of an action that we consider negative or harmful to ourselves or to third parties.

We talk about “guilty pleasure” as The pleasant feeling we recognize when we see, hear, or do something we know is not as good as it should be for us.

What things are included in this group?

Take a few minutes to think… We have a choice: movies, books, television series, sharing the odd rumor or another, that catchy song…

How many times has it happened that a friend has denied us that trendy song and we have discovered a record in the car that includes it? How many people have we met who have covered the cover of a book because they did not want others to see what they were reading on the bus?

It is a fact. There are pleasures that we are ashamed to acknowledge in public for fear of what they will say, what they will think and how they will judge us..

They are addictive, and when we see, read or listen to them, they manage to make us disconnect.

Have you already thought about any of your “sins”? If you are a person with guilty pleasures, don’t worry, you are surrounded by people like you. Even those who you think would judge you if they knew that television series that hooks you, have them.

Why be ashamed of something we like?

Many people wonder what’s wrong with not telling something that entertains us and that we enjoy. Why not share something like this with others?

Everything goes through three key concepts that are close to “guilty pleasure”: shame, self-concept and fear of negative social evaluation.

Shame is something that grips and limits. The negative self-evaluation of the self that serves to correct our errors and improve, is excessive sometimes. Control and correct what affects our image and self-image.

But, in this case, thinking about it rationally, is it shameful? And most importantly, do our guilty pleasures define us?

Self-concept is the image we have of ourselves. It is formed by everything that we imagine belongs to us and makes us up (the physical, emotional, social, intellectual, etc.).

Over the years and depending on what surrounds us, how we process it, integrate it into our lives and the changes we experience, it changes.

Our inner path is always directed towards staying consistent with what we think about ourselves, our beliefs and our habits.

The “guilty pleasure” has to do with the discomfort generated by the dissonance between the image we would like to have of ourselves and reality. The ideal self-concept and what we are come into conflict.

Finally, Negative social evaluation is something on which our behavior, emotions and thoughts depend. There is a need to live in a group, one larger or smaller, but relationships with others become vital for our daily lives.

Social evaluation, when it is negative, is relevant to us to have information about what we do differently, inappropriate or that we must change.

There are different roles in each of us, family, social, at work, etc. and an image is projected outside that we consider appropriate according to the environment. We have external criteria based on “should be”, “have to be” or, in this minor case of guilty pleasures, “I have to like it”.

On many occasions, our “ideal self” is built based on social labels that we consider “adequate,” and We use comparison when we are unsure or doubt our opinions or criteria.

In search of social acceptance

Watson and Friend define fear of negative evaluation as “a fear of the evaluation of others and the expectations that are generated around it.”

Being disapproved generates discomfort. And something as unimportant as a series, song, movie or hobby affects us to such an extent that we protect ourselves by denying or lying about those small “sins” that are socially considered of a lower level.

Can you listen to Silvio Rodriguez and Enrique Iglesias? Can you read Lovecraft and Stephen King at the same time? Can we enjoy Transformers and The Apartment in the same afternoon?

Shame, the idea of ​​self-concept and the fear of negative social evaluation are functional, adaptive and necessary in our daily lives.. They allow us to grow, change and adapt.

However, let’s try to adjust its power to what is really important for us to function socially, personally and professionally.

A “guilty pleasure” does not define us or classify us. Relativizing is the key, and letting yourself go without being ashamed…too.

De La Rochefoucauld already said it, “If we didn’t have defects, we wouldn’t feel so much pleasure discovering those of others.”