I prefer honest distances to hypocritical proximity

In environments where hypocrites abound, the sincere are the bad ones and the truth is the great enemy. For this reason, honest distances will always be preferable when our values ​​clash with that sibylline closeness that brings masks of kindness and golden armor behind which false people hide.

Some may not know that Scientists, sociologists and biologists have wanted to call the current period “Anthropocene.” (new man) instead of Holocene. The intention is simple and even inspiring: to emphasize a period where humanity aims to achieve a higher “quota” in terms of intelligence, social cohesion, harmony, respect and consciousness.

However, books as interesting as Anthropozoology”, embracing cohexistence in the Anthropocene” by scientists Michael Tobias Charles and Jane Gray Morrison, speak to us precisely about a very specific dimension: the hypocrisy of human beings. We continue to be that race of vertebrates accustomed to preaching one thing and doing another.

It is very difficult for us to encourage this coexistence of one another

Sometimes, we are forced to share space with that family member with extreme ideas, or even with that manager who does not fit our same moral principles. However, What we can do is create adequate self-protection spaces where to never fall into the unhealthy exercise of hypocrisy.

In the kingdom of hypocrisy only the strongest survive

Achilles said in The Iliad that if there was something that bothered him much more than the gates of Hades, it was people who said one thing and did another. Well, andIt is very possible that all of us have a person covered with this material nearby. that is so abundant in the Anthropocene era.

What we may not know is that hypocrites should not be held solely and exclusively responsible for their behavior. Hypocrisy is much more than the classic dissonance between our guiding ideas and our behaviors.

Sometimes, the environment that surrounds us forces us to do so.. Every day we face an enormous vital puzzle, the pieces are scattered and we are forced to survive on these complex “social surfaces.” Almost without realizing it, we end up doing things that do not harmonize with our principles, ideas or convictions.

This is what Leo Festinger defined as cognitive dissonancethat is, experiencing a disharmony or conflict between our system of ideas, beliefs and emotions (cognitions) with our own behaviors.

Two types of dissonance

Although a good part of our society is fertile ground for us to behave like cookie-cutter hypocrites, in reality, we can differentiate two typologies. On the one hand, There are those who suffer from this cognitive dissonance and decide to set limits to find an adequate harmony between what is thought and what is done.

Besides, There are many who simply understand life this way. Dissonance ceases to exist to give way to a firm and clear cognition of what is being done has full meaning and above all… a purpose.

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How to protect ourselves from hypocritical behavior

Practicing what you preach is not only an act of respect, it is also an act of “self-respect.” and personal well-being. We already know that we have all, in some way, practiced this art on some occasion to be able to integrate into a certain context: at work, at a party, at a family gathering…

Now, if there is a clear and objective purpose that cognitive dissonances have, it is to light a psychological alert to inform us that the fine thread that supports behavior with values ​​is about to break. Starting a process of reflection undoubtedly saves us from crystallizing hypocrisy.

Marking distances

What can we do if an inveterate and corrosive hypocrite lives very close to us? By sensing something as simple as the incompatibility of characters or values, There are honest people who choose to distance themselves with appropriate elegance and respect..

That is something that we certainly appreciate. But Unfortunately, not everyone initiates this type of policy of good principles.

Definitely, The most correct thing would be for us to establish a security cordon ourselves and we would get far enough away to never meet again.

But, if that person is a family member, a co-worker or a boss, it may not be so easy to buy the ticket of no return. In these more complicated cases, the rule of the three “Rs” will be very useful.:

Don’t “reinforce”: Hypocrites can and have every right to live around you, but we will never reinforce their behaviors. The ideal is to be as aseptic as possible with them, not having deep conversations where intimacies are revealed and not giving too much importance to what they may say. “Respect him and respect yourself”: let the hypocrite be as he wants, do what he wants, but always in its own sphere, never let it enter yours. Respect yourself and give him the right importance without letting his attitude affect you.Don’t “give up” your values. Sometimes, when we spend a lot of time in a scenario full of hypocrisy, it is common to fall into these same behaviors at some point. Remember your values ​​and principles and defend them even if others do not understand or approve of them.

Last but not least, always remember that hypocrisy is camouflaged with kindness when something suits it. Learn to be intuitive and cautious, and if the opportunity finally arises, do not hesitate to put an adequate distance where you can recover your emotional and psychological fullness.

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Images courtesy of Rebecca Dautremer