Face the 30-year crisis, no crisis

There comes a day when you realize that those fond childhood memories are further away in your memory. And when you remember your adolescence, it’s hard to believe that you had the courage to go to certain places, wear certain clothes and even do certain things.

And suddenly, you notice that your mid-twenties start to miss you, even before you’re out of it. This is more or less how you realize that you are entering your 30s crisis, a time that disturbs everyone, but that for some women can be more delicate, full of doubts and anguish.

This crisis, like its signs, does not tell you when it will arrive. It can be at 27, at 29, exactly at 30, with 30-something, and there are even those who claim to have never passed through it, but the truth is that surreptitiously or like an avalanche, one way or another, it always comes.

In the body, the first signs of maturity are almost always inevitable. The skin no longer has that shine, that vitality and not the same texture. Dark circles begin to become more apparent and, if you look closely, you can already see some expression lines appear. Who used to use a single cream on the whole body, tends to start collecting several pots with specific purposes.

The mood is also no longer the same and an irrefutable invitation to a party with lots of music, drinks and fun no longer seems as attractive as a warm bed. Even the knees start to complain a little when they are very demanding in that basic jog through the park. And to make matters worse, there is still the scale, which decides to declare war, making the mission of losing weight even more difficult.

There are many changes, however, the biggest transformations that occur in this period happen inside women’s heads. After all, one can no longer act like a little girl, nor like a teenager, but at the same time, it takes a long time to become a lady.

If you haven’t reached that stage yet, you might be terrified by what you’ve just read, but there’s no reason to panic. Exaggerations aside, these changes are indeed part of the female maturation process, but moving between these territories is as natural as turning 20 or 40 years old. And as difficult as it may seem at first, it is totally possible to face this transition without trauma and believe me, with a lot of charm.

The stigma of being 30 years old was immortalized in the 19th century by the French writer Honoré de Balzac, who in the book “The 30-year-old women”, highlighted for the first time female maturity in literature. That’s when the popular term “Balzaquiana” appeared to designate women of that age. In the book, the term referred to a poorly married woman, unhappy and subject to her husband, a common fact for most women at the time. Quite different from the modern Balzacan women who live at a frenetic pace.

By fighting for equal rights, women gained more freedom, autonomy, space in the labor market, leadership position and recognition, but their old roles continued to need them. Thus, in addition to being professionals, they need to be good wives, present mothers, exemplary housewives, willing lovers and all that with a smile on their face, a fit body, while still being up to date with fashion, technology, and if you have a little time , than what happens in the novel.

It is precisely this excess of obligations and accumulation of functions that makes more and more women enter the crisis of 30 years. Not that it didn’t exist in the past, but it only happened around 40, when they started to feel old seeing their children leaving home. Today, some women in their 30s haven’t even decided if they’re ready to be mothers. Times are different, priorities have been reversed and among so many things to do, it is difficult to choose which one to dedicate themselves first, which leads many people to prioritize their careers, postponing maternity plans.

And amid this whirlwind of emotions, behold, the 30’s knock on the door, bringing with them a lot of questions and insecurities. Single women begin to charge themselves for a marriage, married women analyze whether they are happy in their relationships, those who have not had a child are in a race against time due to the decrease in hormones and professionally, they all begin to question whether they are on the right path.

It’s as if before 30, everything was a rehearsal and from there, everything became definitive and nothing else could go wrong, because there are no longer any chances of making mistakes in personal, romantic or professional life.

In fact, taking stock can be positive to identify past failures and even to correct mistakes, but overloading yourself with pressure and demands for the simple fact of having reached a certain age can trigger serious conflicts and even depression.

It is natural to want to be successful in all areas of life, and it is even more natural to feel frustrated when a goal is not achieved in a period predetermined by society, but the ideal is to face all adversities calmly and patiently, because , one of the many positive points of having lived for three decades is the wisdom that is acquired and the experience that makes us understand that life is made up of phases and that they all pass naturally regardless of our choices.

And since there’s no other way, the best way to get through this phase of life is to see the passage of time as another sign that you need to enjoy every minute. And not only that, instead of fighting something immutable, conform, eternal youth sold by the beauty market does not exist, just as there is no need to determine a deadline to be happy.

Among the 30 as parading all their wisdom and security, after all, the smartest women learned at some point in their lives that knowing how to make the best of each age is essential to feel happy every day, without crickets and without crises.