Children of mothers with borderline personality disorder (BPD)

Children of mothers with borderline personality disorder have a higher risk than average for some problems. Hyperactivity, poor academic results, emotional management difficulties, low self-esteem… The psychosocial impact of this parenting style often based on shouting, poor anger control and even physical or emotional abuse has consequences.

There are many experts and organizations supporting this clinical group that put a need on the table. It is crucial that specific therapeutic interventions be developed for mothers with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Factors such as impulsivity, emotional reactivity, non-suicidal self-harm or aggressive behavior require specialized attention.

Likewise, another fact occurs. We have ample evidence that This personality disorder can be passed from one generation to the next.. It is important to develop appropriate intervention programs to treat these realities and optimize, above all, the development of children in this family context.

Children of mothers with borderline personality disorder (BPD): what are they like?

Currently, we know that the demands associated with the role of mother mean that this condition can aggravate borderline personality disorder. The emotional challenge is greater, the fears are doubled and the responsibility places a set of concerns on the person that they do not know how to handle. Furthermore, many of these women approach motherhood alone and without positive parenting models to base themselves on.

Research work, such as those carried out at the University of Sussex (United Kingdom), does not point out something important. Most fathers and mothers with this clinical condition They don’t know how to respond to their children’s needs.. They also receive no support. All of this ends up generating a series of dynamics that are as complex as they are detrimental to the psychosocial development of the child. We analyze it.

Baby-rearing and disorganized attachment

Parenting is a very demanding experience for any mother. Thus, for those women diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder), this experience can be very stressful.

Averageshow a lack of emotional response to the needs of babies. There is less physical and emotional interaction. They lack caresses and positive emotional gestures such as smiles. They have clear difficulties in anticipating or understanding children’s needs. In general, Every demand is exhausting or excessive.

Children of mothers with borderline personality disorder show the effects of disorganized attachment. That is, they suffer from the lack of security from their parents, who always demonstrate unpredictable behavior. They may be very affectionate at a given moment and immediately shouting and emotional coldness appear.

The shameful and incongruent “I” (problems in personality development)

Much of our identity is built from the interaction with our parents. In this way, children of mothers with borderline personality disorder they receive from them, on average, rejection, lack of emotional validationemotional ambivalence (now I love you, now I shout at you) unsafety.

This means that the child or adolescent cannot find a stable reference on which to develop a strong and secure identity. They assume that their needs are not important. They understand that their emotions and thoughts are wrong. They feel ashamed of themselves because they have always invalidated what they said and did… They are people hungry for emotional recognition, afraid of loneliness who develop an incongruent self full of fractures.

Children of mothers with borderline personality disorder have a higher risk of developing psychological problems

The University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine conducted a study in 2012 that concluded something important. Children of mothers with borderline personality disorder They are a high-risk group when it comes to developing psychosocial problems.

Not only is there evidence that there is a certain genetic predisposition to also develop BPD. Beyond genes, there is a factor with greater relevance when it comes to revealing psychological problems: upbringing, the education received, the type of attachment and the parental model that is used as a reference impacts mental health.

Thus, these children, adolescents and young adults have a high probability of developing the following conditions:

Hyperactivity disorder with or without lack of attention (ADHD) Difficulty controlling emotions. Aggressive behavior at school. Low self-esteem. Psychosocial adaptation problems. Mood disorders: depression, anxiety… Eating disorders.

Psychological trauma in children raised in environments with borderline personalities

Drastic mood changes. Self-destructive behaviors. Poor anger management. Obsessive and even paranoid thoughts… The home ruled by a borderline personality is chaotic, and almost always disorganized..

Children of mothers with borderline personality grow up in a harmful and painful psychoaffective environment that fragments them at all levels. These psychological fractures drag on for years in the form of trauma, to the point of arriving at a psychological consultation confused, depressed, angry and, above all, fragmented.

The care these people receive must always be personalized, adjusted to the multiple needs that are usually evident, such as post-traumatic stress itself, lack of self-esteem, emotional management, lack of social skills and many of the comorbid disorders listed above.

Overcoming these experiences is possible as long as you have adequate resources and professionals specialized in this topic. The consequences will not be forgotten, the shadow of that maternal figure will remain in the minds of many of these young people or older adults, however, it is possible to learn to live again.

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