The healthy and selfless art of prioritizing yourself

Prioritizing yourself is a healthy, useful and necessary practice. Carrying out such craftsmanship is not an act of selfishness, because loving that person who is reflected in our mirror without excuses, fissures or postponements is taking care of ourselves: investing in personal well-being and quality of life. Even more, those who take care of themselves as they deserve can also offer the best of themselves to others.

For example, it is curious to know that the Socrates focused part of his teachings on the concept of self-care or in what was defined at that time as “epimeleia heautou”. Later, Michel Foucault would once again emphasize this idea, to break it down a little more and conclude with the following: only when a person manages to truly know himself, taking care of himself and offering himself courage, can he achieve authentic freedom.

The truth is that we do not know at what point and for what reason it was instilled in most of us that implementing such a strategy was little more than a self-interested and selfish act. Terms were confused, to the point of making us believing that altruism and respect for others do not harmonize at all with self-care or with being able to prioritize ourselves as we deserve. Something totally false.

Thus, and almost without realizing it, we have been building relationships where that devoted sacrifice resides where we think that the more we offer to others, the more they will love us, the more they will value us. Links where What we really do is abandon self-love in a ditch, and to its fatewithout looking back thinking that we are doing well, that this is what everyone expects of us.

Let’s avoid this unhealthy practice that essentially triggers many of our problems, frustrations, anxieties, sleepless nights and even physical pain…

Those who stop prioritizing themselves become exhausted.

When you stop prioritizing yourself to fill your agenda, your mind and wills with “I must do this and that”, “they expect the other things from me” or “I have to do this for this person” what you actually achieve is draining yourself. . It empties itself of energy, identities, desires and above all, self-esteem. The most complex of all this is that Sometimes, we carry out these acts without even thinking about it, without reflecting for a moment on whether we really want to do that favor.that act, that action.

Psychologists explain to us that we fall into the automatism of “do, do, do”, rationalizing those actions as something natural and necessary. Because if we are useful to others, we will be valuable and because If we are needed by our loved ones, then we will be loved. However, this rule of three does not always give the expected result; in fact, it rarely does.

What happens in these cases is something as devastating as it is sad. Perceiving that our continuous efforts and sacrifices are not valued, we develop a very critical view of ourselves, we blame ourselves for having been so naive, so devoted, so trusting. That internal voice can sometimes be very cruel and when this happens, somatization does not take long to appear.translated of course, in that muscle pain, in that fatigue that grips us, in those digestive problems, those infections, that headache, that worrying hair loss…

Learn to “serve yourself”

There are many people like this, embedded in other people’s itineraries, like locomotives that travel on rails from other territories, from other worlds far from their own.. They carry loads that are not theirs as their own and do not have a single day of vacation; a day to be themselves and take care of themselves, to serve their desires exclusively. Maintaining this situation for a long time endangers our balance and our health, and that is why we recommend a change of approach to this inertia.

How to learn to prioritize yourself in 4 steps

Time. People who have stopped prioritizing themselves have automated the word “yes.” In the face of any demand, the magic word is enunciated like a spring that is impossible to control. It is necessary to curb this impulse; Therefore, when someone asks us, suggests or sends us something, what is recommended, first of all, is to remain silent. We will avoid giving an immediate response to reflect for a few minutes and honestly assess whether or not we want to do what they ask of us. Let’s learn to say “NO”.Perspective. To learn to take care of ourselves, to serve ourselves, it is necessary to manage the distance – widening or shortening it – with everything that surrounds us. There comes a time when the person automates both the need to “do, do, do” that perspective is lost. In this sense, saying “I don’t want to, I can’t, today I prioritize myself” is not the end of the world.Auxiliary phrases. It never hurts to have a small collection of phrases that can help us at certain times to protect our own needs, identity or personal time. “I’m sorry, but right now what you’re asking me isn’t going well with me,” “I appreciate that you thought of me for that, but I’m going to take the time,” “Right now I don’t feel like doing what you’re asking of me, I need to be with myself.” ”.Stop certain conversations. We all know how those conversations start that end up with a lawsuit. Those flourishes of conversations where the entertainment culminates with the proposal and where it is often taken for granted that we are going to fulfill it. Since we are already more than trained in these strategies, let us therefore learn to stop them as soon as possible. We will avoid exhausting ourselves and practice assertiveness.

To conclude, these 4 steps are not learned overnight. If we put in the will and make the firm decision to take better care of ourselves and understand that prioritizing ourselves is actually a selfless, necessary and vital act, day by day we will be more effective in these strategies: maintaining care for others, but also for ourselves.

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