Artisans of irony and sarcasm (toxic personalities)

The continued use of irony, far from being a feature of elegant wit, can actually become a double-edged sword with which to undermine our self-esteem.. It is true that sometimes this resource can seem very original to us, and that those who use it can sometimes give us a false image of subtle attractiveness and sense of humor.

In the world of cinema, television series and even literature, we often find this type of characters so skilled in the use of irony and sarcasm. Now, what is really behind their personalities? Individualism, some arrogance and a peculiar talent for despising those around him.

The creator of “bad irony” usually throws us comments that actually seek to highlight something to us. And to do this, they do not hesitate to use sarcasm to attack us in the most subtle and particular way possible, but even so, it is still an offense. Have you ever received this type of malicious phrases? Let’s talk about it today and also learn to defend ourselves.

The limits of irony

It is often said that to promote everyday happiness, it never hurts to practice a sense of humor and even make fun of ourselves. It is perhaps a way of relativizing things and also being a little more humble.

It never hurts to lighten up a situation a little with an ironic phrase. It’s a clever trait and helps us smile. This is what we undoubtedly call “positive irony”, that which does no harm and does not seek to attack anyone. However, we cannot ignore that other aim, “consciously”, hurt the person in front of you

Let’s think about those toxic relationships where one of the members exercises control over the other person. The continued use of irony or sarcasm is a way of dominating as well as humiliatingunderestimating our worth, demotivating us and taking away our energy day after day.

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The Argentine psychologist Bernardo Stamateas explains to us that the use of irony and sarcasm is very common in the profiles of toxic people. Whether they are our partners, co-workers or even our family members, the goal is always the same: slowly undermine our motivation and the value we have of ourselves.. “If you diminish, if you see yourself becoming smaller and more fragile, they will acquire power and have more control over you”

The artisans of this malicious irony have many masks, and although it is possible that low self-esteem or a lack of self-confidence hides underneath them, you must be careful to know how to set limits. To ensure that they don’t destroy you inside.

How to defend ourselves against negative irony

If in your personal or work environment, there is a person accustomed to using the resource of irony from its most negative side, you must know that you have to set certain limits as soon as possible. If we do not do so, if we allow ourselves to be violated and attacked, it is possible that day by day “his art” will become more important and that we will allow him to have more power.

A specific resource can become a habit, and the habit becomes domination when they perceive that they are successful and that they manage to humiliate us. Do not let that happen, Don’t let them hurt you with that kind of irony on any occasion.

We explain in a simple way how to defend yourself.

1. We received an ironic comment

What is the first thing we should do? Think and analyze what they have told you, do not rush to say the first thing that comes to mind. There are people who are very skilled with the use of sarcasm, so it is possible that there will be no attack on you. Be silent and calm while you analyze the words that have been addressed to you.

2. Have you been attacked?

Have they violated your self-esteem? The last thing you should do is return another irony, because if you do, we enter into the same game. A cowardly game where words are not said directly and sincerely. You are a person of integrity and you don’t need to play with terms or people to say what you think.

3. Say out loud what that person meant

Now say out loud what this person in question meant, without using irony: Are you calling me a coward? Are you telling me that I’m not capable of doing this? Do you think I’m less valid than you? Expose the offense in all its rawness so that the other person reacts and argues it, do it calmly and with poise, hoping that whoever is in front of you can argue.