Values ​​and emotions: the forces that guide us in life

Values ​​and emotions are the fundamental pillars in our daily behavior. Clarifying them, understanding them and guiding us, allowing ourselves to be guided by them intelligently, and even bravely, will orchestrate our well-being and even our happiness. What’s more, we are not wrong if we point out that we find ourselves in a moment in which it is more important than ever to take care of these basic pillars.

Talking about psychological health also involves addressing this set of constructs that are unique to each person and that guide their behavior. So, Approaches as interesting as acceptance and commitment therapy remind us that it is essential to keep our values ​​in mind on the horizon because they give us meaning, coherence and a path to guide our decisions.

Let’s think about it for a moment. How many times have we completely distanced ourselves from our values ​​to end up doing things that were not in tune with us? This is something that often appears in unhappy relationships and also in many of our jobs. Not being in harmony with our authentic essences brings suffering and more than one psychological disorder. We delve into it.

Values ​​and emotions: two key dimensions for well-being and personal development

There are many who point out that we find ourselves in a society that is suffering a true crisis of values. Dimensions such as truth, goodness and justice, for example, seem to no longer be (according to some voices) at the top of our scale. In some way, it is as if today economic, consumerist and utilitarian values ​​prevail more.

It may be so; It is not entirely clear. However, from a psychological point of view, there is something that we often appreciate. When one is not clear about those abstract beliefs and vital attitudes that are values, one’s reality loses meaning and even direction. It’s more, Sometimes, even though we have firm convictions, we neglect them and that is when problems arise.

Likewise, another notable fact occurs. There are men and women who defend values ​​like someone holding up a banner (solidarity, loyalty, kindness, respect, honesty), but they neither practice nor apply them. Authentic well-being and true coherence reside in those who make their value their virtue, how to be kind in any circumstance, be a good friend in every moment and situation.

Values ​​and emotions go hand in hand because they guide us in everything we do. When they are in tune we feel good. When we do not attend to them, suffering arises. Therefore, something that we must be clear about as soon as possible is that Clarifying what our values ​​are can help us prioritize what is important to us and thus be able to avoid disappointments and unhappiness.

Live in tune with what is valuable to us

Research work such as those carried out at the University of Ulm (Germany) emphasizes the importance of these two dimensions. Values ​​and emotions act as motivational goals by giving meaning not only to our daily lives.also to every decision made and relationship we establish.

In this way, in the present study the theory of Shalom H, Schwartz on human values ​​stands out. This author delved scientifically into these dimensions to define them as beliefs –cognitions– linked to our affections and emotions.

That is to say, When, for example, we adopt friendship, loyalty or integrity as a value, we try to ensure that our existence is in accordance with these principles.. In this way, if, for example, we see unfair practices at work and we are even urged to have to apply them ourselves, we have two options. Assume them and suffer or reveal ourselves to always be in tune with our own values.

What happens when we lose sight of our values?

Milton Rokeach was a Polish-American social psychologist who dedicated much of his life to the study of values ​​and emotions.. Something that he explained in his work is that it is very common to internalize the values ​​inherited from our family. We do it for a while, integrating them into our education and into those relational threads that our parents weave around us.

Now, this fact means that many times one never comes to consider what one’s own values ​​really are. What result does this have? The main effect is to turn us into someone we do not want to be. Not clarifying, not stopping to think about what defines us will make us get carried away by what others guide or suggest to us.

If we used the metaphor of the highway, we could say that values ​​are the lanes through which we drive to go where we truly want. Lacking them will cause us to deviate at every step and until we get lost…

Values ​​and emotions, the roots of our virtues

Socrates said that Virtues cannot be taught, they are not transmitted through knowledge, but are realities that one must discover and integrate into one’s own being.. The same thing happens with values. It is our obligation to design a life that is best aligned with our true self, with our essences, identities, passions and needs.

Somehow, When you clarify your values ​​and make them your own, you turn them into virtues. If we choose generosity, it must be our obligation to defend it and of course, practice it. If we assume freedom, justice, care for nature or social commitment, it is necessary to exercise them daily.

Only when we take care of that indisputable harmony between what we feel and do, between what we think and express, will we achieve well-being and personal fulfillment.

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