Why do we feel sorry?

Why do we feel sorry? Is this feeling different from compassion? What purpose does it serve in human behavior? In reality, these concepts reflect the most sensitive, empathetic and human part of each of us. They make it easier for us to get out of our envelope to connect with the realities of others and feel them, make them our own and even suffer them.

HoweverThere are those who see a somewhat negative aspect in pity. Benito Pérez Galdós defined it as the moth of will, as that feeling that one harbors in his position of superiority. It is an entity that haunts us and that lukewarmly settles in us by connecting with the suffering, but perhaps without awakening the capacity for help or protection.

We feel sorry for those who are worse off than us, for those who have not been so lucky in life., we experience this feeling of the abandoned animal, the wounded bird and those who have not managed to fulfill their dreams. This explains why there is this more critical aspect that defines this emotion as something that, at times, we use as a contemptuous mechanism and not so much as something enriching and that facilitates cohesion.

However, is this true? We analyze it.

Why do we feel sorry? These are the reasons

We can define the emotion of pity as the feeling of witnessing the misfortune or suffering of someone who is worse off than us. Although it is true that in everyday life we ​​can give it a negative connotation due to this social comparison that is established implicitly, the truth is that in many cases it does drive altruistic behavior.

For Aristotle, for example, this emotion was basic to human beings. He explained to us in his work Rhetoric that in order for a person to feel sorry for another person, they must have first experienced similar suffering. That is to say, ““I feel sorry for that friend who is alone because I know what loneliness is.”. Even more, “I also feel this emotion for those who have lost someone close because of this. It’s something that has also happened to me“.

Therefore, if we ask ourselves why we feel sorry, the key is in what generates this emotional experience. It allows us, first, to empathize with the pain of others and also to understand the other. starting from one’s own experience. At the same time, the fact of placing ourselves in a position of superiority over those who suffer should urge us to act.

This is precisely where the real challenge arises. There will be those who take the step and help; On the other hand, there will also be those who limit themselves to feeling this emotion without doing anything. Let’s delve into more aspects.

Pity: understanding, sadness and tenderness

Human beings experience pity as part of that mechanism that urges us to cooperative behavior. Now, inside, as if it were the complex mechanism of a clock, more emotions are integrated. Perhaps that is why it can sometimes seem so ambiguous and particular to us.

In the heart of those who experience pity dwells understanding. Those who care for those who suffer do so from knowledge and sensitivity. On the other hand, sadness is also integrated. It hurts us when that friend has a bad time, we are saddened by the one who feels pain or who has a hard experience.

In addition, There are certain doses of that feeling that is tenderness. This dimension makes us feel that certain people, animals or other dimensions are worthy of love, respect, affection, protection…

Psychological distance and the feeling of superiority

Why do we feel sorry? Why do some people feel this emotion and do nothing? These are two questions that we often ask ourselves when we see situations that are striking to us. There are those who suffer when they see the reality of the people most in need, but they do not contribute in any way to improving the situation of those who have a bad time.

Indeed, pity has that very common component: inactivity. We deal with other people’s pain from a certain position of superiority, from that highest step from which we often refuse to descend. For what is this? The key would often be in psychological distance. If the person having a bad time is my father or brother, I act, but if he is my neighbor, I don’t.

That is, some emotional bond or particular interest is needed to take the final step. Thus, while compassion is associated with a more active commitment to substantial help, pity integrates the idea that one is not obliged to do anything for the other if one does not wish to do so. or you don’t see it necessary.

We don’t like people to feel sorry for us

On some occasions we may wonder why we feel sorry and what function this emotion fulfills in human beings. However, If there is something clear and evident, it is that we do not like people to feel sorry for us.. We are aware that whoever looks at us from the perspective of this emotion, he does so from his superiority and this rebels us.

On the other hand, Nor do we like that feeling in which one comes to feel sorry for oneself. It is like being integrated into one’s own problems or failures without seeing any way out. It is a feeling that stagnates us, unlike perhaps self-pity, which allows us to look at ourselves with affection without judging or criticizing ourselves to convince ourselves that we deserve better and we must act.

In conclusion, Few psychological entities harbor as many approaches as pity.. We feel it every day when we see certain images or read certain stories or news on television or social networks. Maybe it’s that feeling that catches us for a few seconds and then slowly disappears without much significance. Let us ensure that this is not always the case, let us give it greater meaning and greater usefulness…

You might be interested…